Theodore Honeywell

From Blaseball Wiki

Theodore Honeywell is a lineup player for the Tokyo Lift, and has been with the team since the Season 10 elections.

Official League Records

Honeywell joined the ILB as a player in the Shadows for the Tokyo Lift with the Lift's debut in the Season 10 elections.

On Season 21, Day 77, Honeywell joined the Lift's lineup in exchange for Steals Mondegreen at Tokyo Fitness Center via the Ratified Voicemail. On Season 21, Day 84, Honeywell entered Party Time with the Lift. During the remainder of the Season, Honeywell partied 3 times, resulting in a combined 7.0 -> 11.2 stat increase.

On Season 22, Day 76, Honeywell entered Party Time with the Lift. During the remainder of the Season, Honeywell partied 2 times, resulting in a combined 11.2 -> 13.5 stat increase.

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Box of Theodore Honeywell Files

Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-9.252 and start reading...

Theodore Honeywell, swolest of carnivores
Decked nose-to-tail in long caramel hair
This is no bearded dude posting on Grindr,
Teddy's a literal (Kodiak) bear

Theodore Honeywell, lover of partytime
Hungry for glory and hungry for gains
Waited ten seasons to step from the Shadows
Partied three times in his first twenty games

Theodore Honeywell, thumbs unopposable,
Can't grasp a bat in his razor-sharp claws
Treats the pitched ball like a migrating salmon
Deals it an almighty whack with his paws

Theodore Honeywell, slowest of blaserunners,
Hampered not just by prodigious size;
Party hats slip down his steep-sloping forehead,
Lumbers off-course when they cover his eyes

Theodore Honeywell, big Team Dad energy,
Backs up his teammates in manifold ways
Stands eight feet tall rearing up on his hindlegs
Weighs half a ton and could hug you for days

Theodore Honeywell, hero of Tokyo
Pride of Alaska and king of the den
Patiently features in countless bear with me jokes
Predator, Blaseballer, teammate and friend

Fan Works