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The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

C O C O N U T is an extra dimensional entity currently serving as a mascot for the Hawai'i Fridays.

Not much of the information surrounding C O C O N U T is verified, as most of what can be tracked down to a specific source seems to come from either Fenry Marlow (whose information is, as teammate Juice Collins claims, "not actually citation worthy, Jacob, I mean come on, he told you peas were made in a factory last week, he's OBVIOUSLY messing with you") or from Jacob Winner, in which case the claim is almost invariably followed by a directive to "look at these pictures I got, bro, I'm telling you I really saw C O C O N U T this time!"[1]

However, while not much is definitively known about C O C O N U T, C O C O N U T can be heard being referenced in some of the chants from Fridays fans during games, most notably the C O C O N U T chant, which is always fairly low energy and is as follows:

"Give me a C!"
"Give me an O!"
"Do it again!"
"Give me a nut!"
"What does that spell?"

According to some sources, on occasion a variation of the chant will be performed that requires that C O C O N U T must "go rolling by malevolently at the end". It is unknown by anyone[uhhh], including C O C O N U T itself[what], whether this is actually C O C O N U T or just a stunt double[citation needed].

C O C O N U T Facts

Nothing has been verifiably confirmed about C O C O N U T or the existence of C O C O N U T at this time.

C O C O N U T Rumors

  • REDACTED. Like, you specifically. It's nothing personal.
  • Thomas England[who?] claimed to have seen C O C O N U T on multiple occasions.
  • Some rumors regarding C O C O N U T claim that C O C O N U T uses spears to attack all who illegally hunt or poach the islands' many species of endemic birds (many of which are protected). However, considering the weapon of choice in these rumors, it perhaps seems more likely that this was Spears Taylor in each and every single case.
  • C O C O N U T is brown[citation needed] and hairy[citation needed].
  • One installment of Greer Gwiffin's popular KTGI SPAM radio show Riffin' With Gwiffin (featuring regular guest Yosh Carpenter) featured a special guest claiming to be a C O C O N U T expert. However, listeners of the broadcast at the time report various anomalies[2] beginning immediately after Gwiffin and Carpenter introduced the special guest expert.
    • To date, no two listeners have reported the same anomaly, but invariably they all prevented the listener from hearing literally anything else.
    • After listening to the KTGI radio station archive copy of the broadcast, Yosh Carpenter reported confusion, saying "I remember talking about C O C O N U T that day, not (faint sound of coconut "hooves")[3]!"
    • The KTGI radio station archive copy of this broadcast has since gone missing, however. It is unknown at this time what could have happened to it, as no other KTGI radio station broadcast archive copies have ever been lost.
    • REDACTED Gwiffin claims REDACTED.
      • This is most assuredly REDACTED false.
  • REDACTED Baldwin Breadwinner REDACTED
  • Some say that the sound made by Hendricks Rangel when they were incinerated was C O C O N U T.[citation needed]
  • C O C O N U T is REDACTED.[citation needed]
  • C O C O N U T floats on water.[citation needed]
  • C O C O N U T does not float on water.
  • REDACTED.[citation needed]
  • C O C O N U T is definitely a mammal. Definitely. It's really true!
  • This REDACTED is a liminal space born of the coconut (sic) REDACTED
  • Sunglasses REDACTED[4]
  • C O C O N U T may or may not be able to communicate 3.
    • REDACTED REDACTED[citation needed] REDACTED
      • REDACTED.[6]
    • REDACTED, if there has recently been a home game against the Charleston Shoe Thieves REDACTED[7]
  • Juice Collins has specifically denied any involvement with C O C O N U T, as she "isn't even a piña colada[8], probably."
  • C O C O N U T is known to REDACTED eat REDACTED[citation needed].
  • The Kansas City Breath Mints REDACTED.[9]
  • "REDACTED"[10] REDACTED Hawai‘i FridaysREDACTEDBeck Whitney Faxed A BabyREDACTED

  1. Jacob Winner has a chronic inability to take pictures without somehow covering the lens with his finger or whatever else he happens to be holding; photos he managed to take without this issue are instead so blurry as to render them completely useless. However, this effect seems to be restricted to exclusively the photos he takes where the subject isn't a bird (as his pictures of birds are well known to residents of Hawai‘i to be both flawless and locally award winning.)
  2. such as dead air, static, dogs barking, dlogs blarking, or "it was like, DEFINITELY, for sure that song Magma Mia by BLABBA, but played backwards. For a whole HOUR. I mean, I'm not complaining, but sheesh!"
  3. It is unknown how Carpenter was able to physically pronounce this sound.
  4. C O C O N U T.
  5. Possibly understood to mean "We Like To Party (The Vlengabus)", but then again probably not.
  7. Also known as shoelaces.
  8. the drink?
  9. Spearmint.
  10. Not to be confused with REDACTED.