Goodwin Morin

From Blaseball Wiki

Revision as of 03:01, 11 January 2022 by Iznj (talk | contribs) (Fix the IRM space.)

The subject of this page has been Preserved.
They may have participated in the ILB Semi-Centennial. No other information is available after their entry into the Vault. Tour the collection here.
In case of incomplete records, post on the Talk page.
Legendary art by artisticApparition, Garage and Lift art by Eli

Goodwin Morin is a lineup player for the Vault Legends, and has been with the team since the ILB Semi-Centennial. Morin has previously played for the Seattle Garages, Tokyo Lift, and Charleston Shoe Thieves.

Official League Records

Morin joined the ILB as a player in the Shadows for the Seattle Garages with the Return of Blaseball.

During the Season 9 elections, Morin's star rating was maximized as a result of the Secret Weapon blessing.

During the Season 10 elections, Morin joined the Garages' pitching rotation in exchange for Mike Townsend as a result of the Dark Star blessing.

During the Coffee Cup, Morin played for the Milk Proxy Society as a lineup player.

During the Season 12 elections, Morin became a lineup player via the The Best Offense blessing, switching positions with the newly-arrived Alaynabella Hollywood.

Morin was traded to the Tokyo Lift in exchange for Lotus Mango during the Season 13 elections via the Lift's Exchange will.

Morin was traded to the Charleston Shoe Thieves in exchange for Halexandrey Walton during the Season 16 elections via the Shoe Thieves' Plunder will.

After Day 99 of Season 18, Morin was Preserved.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

History

Goodwin Morin stands at an impressive 7'3". She claims to be from a long line of god slayers residing in Dark Seattle. When pressed for more info, she wouldn't comment further, saying it would hurt the sanctity of her group. After helping take down the gods of Dark Seattle, being the one to deliver the sun to its demise, running a spear through it and pinning it in place in the sky, she was recruited to the Dark Seattle Corporates, a minor league blaseball team and evil counterpart to the Seattle Garages. Morin reports not agreeing to the recruitment, but as things in with Jamazon go, she did not have a choice in the matter.

During Season 9, as a result of the Secret Weapon Scandal, Morin was blessed with shadow magic and an incredible buff to her strength. Again, Morin wasn't given much choice, but took to her new powers well. As she practiced honing her newfound strength, she began plotting an uprising with her fellow team mates, who were all kept in "company cubicles" beneath the Dedication to Equality Ballpark Tower (DEBT). As the plot was about to get underway, the power was cut by none other than the Seattle Garages, and the two groups worked together for what came to be known as Operation DEBT Collection. As they reached the surface, it became apparent that Morin would not fit on the tour bus without sacrificing a number of seats given her massive size, so Morin opted to let other escapees go in her stead. Ollie Mueller handed her two skateboards shortly before boarding the bus. After helping them push start the bus to allow for their escape, she strapped both skateboards to her feet and roller skateboarded to safety after them. While she lost sight of them shortly thereafter, she managed to find her way through the gate to Seattle, smashing through the remainders of the gum wall.

Morin reports meaning to meet up with the Garages after her arrival, but getting caught up in the less dystopian Seattle. During her time in Dark Seattle, she took to going to underground pinball arcades (which were referred to as "hot tub clubs", to avoid detection), so upon discovering pinball was legal and encouraged, she toured the various pinball arcades in the area, bumping former Garages member Allison Abbott from many of the top scoring slots. It was at Rayglun Lounge that Morin met Sparks Beans, who offered to let her crash with them. It wasn't until a few days had passed that Morin realized Beans was also a member of the Seattle Garages, as Beans had work the day of the heist and could not attend.

After Mike Townsend's return to baking in the Seattle Shadows Co-op, team captain Teddy Duende offered Morin his spot. Morin accepted and has been on the team since. She's proved indispensable, pitching with a number of her arms. On Season 11, Day 12, Morin was charmed by three different batters of the San Francisco Lovers (Kichiro Guerra, Don Mitchell, and Alexander Horne), granting her the nickname "Bi Disaster" by her fans, a title which she wears proudly. Since then, Morin has had a track record of doing poorly against the Lovers, charmed or not. Rumors suggest Morin has taken to hot tubbing with them before games, but these rumors cannot be substantiated, nor could it be clarified which type of hot tubbing they might be doing.

Personal Life

Pinball remains as Morin's favorite hobby, using it to calm down before and after games. Morin also enjoys a good hot tub soak, especially after working out. As pinball arcades were referred to as "hot tub clubs" in Dark Seattle, Morin enjoys confusing her teammates by telling them she's going hot tubbing and not clarifying which she's referring to. Teammate Malik Destiny learned this the hard way when, having assumed she meant pinball, followed along only to find it involved hot water.

Morin continues to room with Sparks Beans in the International District, the two practicing their magic together. Beans has begun teaching Morin the ways of Tabletop Gaming, and in return Morin shows Beans how to do pushups "the right way." Morin says she appreciates Beans' coffee making abilities, even if they do chide her for using milk substitutes.

During the siesta, Morin has taken up holding yoga classes in which she plays metal music and growls out the pose instructions. This Heavy Metal Yoga is held locally as well as by teleconference, and a number of players in the league partake in her classes.

Music

Morin, determined to master her new shadow arms, chose the to learn the multi necked guitar and the harp. This makes Morin the first member of the team and of the band to pick up the guitar as their primary instrument. As music is forbidden in Dark Seattle, Morin has yet to settle on a favorite genre.

Morin is in a metal band with team member Theodore Duende. With Duende's impressive voice and Morin's ability to project her voice through the shadows, earplugs are mandatory at their concerts.

Box of Goodwin Morin Files

Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-8.185 and start reading...

This report was stolen from Corporation Databases during a dangerous and stealthy heist by F. Seagull and B. Trombone. It was shared on Trombone's Instlagram story approximately two minutes after discovery with the captions "look @ these boring papers we found smh someone tell farrell to hurry up", "can't believe i'm missing bach night for this ughhhhhhhhhh", and "ya ik we all know colin's gonna pick julie over jenn f. but it's abt the EXPERIENCE of seeing him actually do it"
Some sections of this report are redacted. This is in part due to Corporation security protocols and in part to Trombone’s upsettingly large Instlagram captions obscuring some of the text. 
CLASSIFIED
THIS REPORT IS ONLY FOR EMPLOYEES OF LEVEL M RANK OR HIGHER.

ANY EMPLOYEE OF LOWER RANK CAUGHT READING IT WILL BE TERMINATED. ANY EMPLOYEE WITH INFORMATION ABOUT THE WANTED PERSONS BELOW SHOULD CONTACT EXT. *8185 IMMEDIATELY.

MISSING EMPLOYEE REPORT

Date:   ██-██-████
Name: MORIN, GOODWIN Aliases: "MT. SAPPHO", "SUNKILLER", "█████"
Age: ██ Birthday: ██-██-████
Job Title: PITCHER
Department: DARK SEATTLE CORPORATES
Other Jobs Held: GROWTH MANAGER (SUNKILLER)
HT: 7 FT 3 IN WT: UNK
Hair: PURPLE W STARS Eyes: BROWN
Current Status: TRAITOR
Last Seen on Corp. Property: S10D99 where?: COMPANY CUBICLE
Probable Destination: SEATTLE (LIGHTSIDE); THE BIG GARAGE
Cause of Absence: ESCAPE; TRAITOR
Accomplices: SEATTLE GARAGES; SHADOWS


INFORMATION

MORIN was hired from the GUILD OF GODSLAYERS on ██-██-████, and was assigned to ██████████ ███████████████████████ ████████████████ ███████████ ████████████████ as part of the Corporation's ███ ████ █████████ Pledge. After completing this assignment, she transferred from the █████████ ██████ DEPARTMENT to take on the duties of PITCHER for the DARK SEATTLE CORPORATES. Performance Reviews from this time period describe her as "an excellent employee who succeeds at all tasks given", "a valued member of the team", and "capable of bench pressing 500 lbs."

During Season β9, as a result of the SECRET WEAPON EMPOWERMENT SEMINAR (a.k.a. ██████████ ███), MORIN received the power to control SHADOWS, predominantly using them to form EXTRA LIMBS. She also received a BUFF to her already impressive STRENGTH. MORIN is often ARMED with anywhere from SIX (6) to EIGHTEEN (18) ARMS. She is known to be skilled in HAND-TO-HAND COMBAT, WEAPONS COMBAT, SHADOW MAGIC, ██████████████████ ███████████ ███████████, and FLIRTATION. She has historically been one of the Corporates’ BEST PITCHERS.


THIS TRAITOR SHOULD BE ASSUMED TO BE ARMED AND DANGEROUS.
DO NOT APPROACH SOLO.
IN THE UNLIKELY EVENT THAT THIS TRAITOR APPROACHES OR ENGAGES YOU, COMMENCE DEPARTMENT OF EMPLOYEE RETENTION EMERGENCY PROTOCOL ████.


MORIN escaped from this dimension in Season β10, when members of the SEATTLE GARAGES, a ███████████████████ performed a ██████████████████ ████████ █████ ████. This led to ██ █████████████ ███████████ ██████████████████ █████████████████████ which led to █████████████ ██████████████████████████████████████████████ █████████████████████████████ hijacking ███ ███████ ██████████ █████ █████ ██████████████ ████████████ ███████ ██████ ██████████████████████ █████████████ ██████████ ███████ ████████████ skateboard ███ ██████ █████████ ████ ████████████ ██████████ ███████████████ ██████████ ████████████████████████ █████████████████████ ████ ███████████ ████████████. These █████████████████████████ have not been seen since, but they ████ █████████████ ███ █████████████ two ████████████████████, a ███████████████████ █████████ ███████████████████ ██████████████████████████ and graffiti on the side of the D.E.B.T. Tower reading █████████ ██████OUR ASSES YOU D████████████ █ ██████████ ███████████████████████████.

Since her escape, MORIN's exploits have become LEGENDARY among those in the ██████ Dimension. She appears to have switched teams multiple times during her INTERNET LEAGUE BLASEBALL career, having played for the SEATTLE GARAGES, TOKYO LIFT, and CHARLESTON SHOE THIEVES. MORIN's whereabouts are unknown as of SEASON 18 DAY 99, when she ██████ ████████████████████████.

MORIN has few demonstrated weaknesses. DO NOT APPROACH SOLO. MORIN has been shown to be weak to the effects of "CHARM", as shown in games against the ██████ Dimension's SAN FRANCISCO LOVERS. The Corporation's Department of Human Interaction is currently researching what "CHARM" is. Current theories include it being a sort of ██████████████████, a ████████████, or an AXE BODY SPRAY BRAND. See ██████████████████ for full research.

MORIN was believed to have been spotted on ██████ when ██████████████████████████████, but further investigation has revealed that ██████████████████ III ████████████. These ██████ not █████████████████.


ANY EMPLOYEE WITH INFORMATION ABOUT THIS TRAITOR SHOULD CONTACT EXT. *8185 IMMEDIATELY.
KNOWINGLY OR UNKNOWINGLY WITHHOLDING SUCH INFORMATION FROM THE CORPORATION IS IMMEDIATE CAUSE FOR EMPLOYEE TERMINATION.


Fan Works

Music

Goodwin Morin is the focus of the following songs:

Additionally, Goodwin Morin is mentioned in the following song:

Art