Goodwin Morin/IF-8.185
Rumor / Community LoreThis article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community. It is just one of many Rumors that we've found in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill. You can find more Rumors about Goodwin Morin at their Rumor Registry.
This report was stolen from Corporation Databases during a dangerous and stealthy heist by F. Seagull and B. Trombone. It was shared on Trombone's Instlagram story approximately two minutes after discovery with the captions "look @ these boring papers we found smh someone tell farrell to hurry up", "can't believe i'm missing bach night for this ughhhhhhhhhh", and "ya ik we all know colin's gonna pick julie over jenn f. but it's abt the EXPERIENCE of seeing him actually do it"
Some sections of this report are redacted. This is in part due to Corporation security protocols and in part to Trombone’s upsettingly large Instlagram captions obscuring some of the text.
CLASSIFIEDTHIS REPORT IS ONLY FOR EMPLOYEES OF LEVEL M RANK OR HIGHER.
ANY EMPLOYEE OF LOWER RANK CAUGHT READING IT WILL BE TERMINATED. ANY EMPLOYEE WITH INFORMATION ABOUT THE WANTED PERSONS BELOW SHOULD CONTACT EXT. *8185 IMMEDIATELY.
MISSING EMPLOYEE REPORT
| Date: | ██-██-████ | ||
| Name: | MORIN, GOODWIN | Aliases: | "MT. SAPPHO", "SUNKILLER", "█████" |
| Age: | ██ | Birthday: | ██-██-████ |
| Job Title: | PITCHER | ||
| Department: | DARK SEATTLE CORPORATES | ||
| Other Jobs Held: | GROWTH MANAGER (SUNKILLER) | ||
| HT: | 7 FT 3 IN | WT: | UNK |
| Hair: | PURPLE W STARS | Eyes: | BROWN |
| Current Status: | TRAITOR | ||
| Last Seen on Corp. Property: | S10D99 | where?: | COMPANY CUBICLE |
| Probable Destination: | SEATTLE (LIGHTSIDE); THE BIG GARAGE | ||
| Cause of Absence: | ESCAPE; TRAITOR | ||
| Accomplices: | SEATTLE GARAGES; SHADOWS |
INFORMATION
MORIN was hired from the GUILD OF GODSLAYERS on ██-██-████, and was assigned to ██████████ ███████████████████████ ████████████████ ███████████ ████████████████ as part of the Corporation's ███ ████ █████████ Pledge. After completing this assignment, she transferred from the █████████ ██████ DEPARTMENT to take on the duties of PITCHER for the DARK SEATTLE CORPORATES. Performance Reviews from this time period describe her as "an excellent employee who succeeds at all tasks given", "a valued member of the team", and "capable of bench pressing 500 lbs."
During Season β9, as a result of the SECRET WEAPON EMPOWERMENT SEMINAR (a.k.a. ██████████ ███), MORIN received the power to control SHADOWS, predominantly using them to form EXTRA LIMBS. She also received a BUFF to her already impressive STRENGTH. MORIN is often ARMED with anywhere from SIX (6) to EIGHTEEN (18) ARMS. She is known to be skilled in HAND-TO-HAND COMBAT, WEAPONS COMBAT, SHADOW MAGIC, ██████████████████ ███████████ ███████████, and FLIRTATION. She has historically been one of the Corporates’ BEST PITCHERS.
MORIN escaped from this dimension in Season β10, when members of the SEATTLE GARAGES, a ███████████████████ performed a ██████████████████ ████████ █████ ████. This led to ██ █████████████ ███████████ ██████████████████ █████████████████████ which led to █████████████ ██████████████████████████████████████████████ █████████████████████████████ hijacking ███ ███████ ██████████ █████ █████ ██████████████ ████████████ ███████ ██████ ██████████████████████ █████████████ ██████████ ███████ ████████████ skateboard ███ ██████ █████████ ████ ████████████ ██████████ ███████████████ ██████████ ████████████████████████ █████████████████████ ████ ███████████ ████████████. These █████████████████████████ have not been seen since, but they ████ █████████████ ███ █████████████ two ████████████████████, a ███████████████████ █████████ ███████████████████ ██████████████████████████ and graffiti on the side of the D.E.B.T. Tower reading █████████ ██████OUR ASSES YOU D████████████ █ ██████████ ███████████████████████████.
Since her escape, MORIN's exploits have become LEGENDARY among those in the ██████ Dimension. She appears to have switched teams multiple times during her INTERNET LEAGUE BLASEBALL career, having played for the SEATTLE GARAGES, TOKYO LIFT, and CHARLESTON SHOE THIEVES. MORIN's whereabouts are unknown as of SEASON 18 DAY 99, when she ██████ ████████████████████████.
MORIN has few demonstrated weaknesses. DO NOT APPROACH SOLO. MORIN has been shown to be weak to the effects of "CHARM", as shown in games against the ██████ Dimension's SAN FRANCISCO LOVERS. The Corporation's Department of Human Interaction is currently researching what "CHARM" is. Current theories include it being a sort of ██████████████████, a ████████████, or an AXE BODY SPRAY BRAND. See ██████████████████ for full research.
MORIN was believed to have been spotted on ██████ when ██████████████████████████████, but further investigation has revealed that ██████████████████ III ████████████. These ██████ not █████████████████.
ANY EMPLOYEE WITH INFORMATION ABOUT THIS TRAITOR SHOULD CONTACT EXT. *8185 IMMEDIATELY.KNOWINGLY OR UNKNOWINGLY WITHHOLDING SUCH INFORMATION FROM THE CORPORATION IS IMMEDIATE CAUSE FOR EMPLOYEE TERMINATION.
