Difference between revisions of "Tillman Henderson"

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Revision as of 23:33, 26 October 2022

The subject of this page has been Preserved.
They may have participated in the ILB Semi-Centennial. No other information is available after their entry into the Vault. Tour the collection here.
In case of incomplete records, post on the Talk page.

Tillman Henderson is a lineup player for the Vault Legends, and has been with the team since the ILB Semi-Centennial. Henderson previously played for the Baltimore Crabs, Charleston Shoe Thieves, and Rising Stars.

Official League Records

Henderson joined the ILB as a pitcher for the Baltimore Crabs with the Return of Blaseball.

During the Season 4 elections, Henderson swapped positions from pitcher to lineup player as a result of the Mutual Aid blessing.

During the Season 5 elections, Henderson received boosts in all ratings as well as a boost in baserunning as a part of the Crabs' Horde Hallucinations, and Rollback Netcode blessings.

On Season 7, Day 74, Henderson siphoned some of Miguel James' baserunning ability.

Henderson was incinerated on Season 9, Day 64, and replaced by Silvaire Roadhouse. Henderson returned to Active status following an idol board-related feedback swap with Jaylen Hotdogfingers after the Season 10 regular season concluded.

During the Season 10 elections, Henderson received Noise-Cancelling Headphones, becoming Soundproof. (The Headphones would later be lost, along with all other Discipline Era items across the league, at the beginning of Season 15.)

During the Coffee Cup, Henderson played for the Cold Brew Crew as a lineup player.

During the Season 12 elections Henderson received a combined stat change of 16.2 → 20.2 as a result of the Shoe Thieves' Infuse will.

During the Season 13 Elections, Henderson's Returned modification activated, pulling them back into the Hall of Flame. Henderson was replaced by Simba Davis.

During the ILB Semi-Centennial, Henderson played for the Rising Stars, until they were collected and made Legendary by the Vault Legends.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

History

Tillman Henderson is the worst person in the entire splort of Blaseball with an effortless heel persona. Put simply, he sucks. Truly reprehensible. Absolute wasteman. No time for this clown.

Known Traits

Tillman Henderson is known by many to be “The Worst” but many readers have submitted more detailed descriptions of exactly how Henderson is the worst, and how he has personally wronged them. Here is the latest selection, though new reports will show up any time you refresh the page, and the full list can be found here

Tillman Henderson died flipping off the umpire with one hand and flipping off the entire stadium with the other. The city still joked about how awful he is after, but the words felt heavier, eyes watering a little.

Tillman Henderson has the energy of, like, "you go to a big family get together and like your family is big but there are only like three or four people your age cuz the rest are all young kids or adults but there's this one cousin you really don't interact with otherwise because you have nothing in common and he kinda gives you a weird vibe where he's really fratty and kinda judgmental and stuff but you're sitting in their room at this party and watching him play madden and you hate madden you just don't know what could possibly be fun about the game because you never played it and only watched it but what else are you gonna do because you don't like having to hang out with the older family members because they always end up talking about politics and they're really loud about it and you get overstimulated so you hang out in this room instead and the room has a subtle funk to it that is definitely not weed and definitely not cheese and your eyes kinda glaze over to the CRT lights of the madden game and your cousin's constant talkover about the game becomes rhythmic as you lose sense of place and he's too self centered to actually hold a conversation but it beats having someone trying to include you in conversation by asking you when you're getting straight married and why your degree was useless but simultaneously shame you for dropping out of college too, your cousin is too in the game to probe you about your life and as long as he doesn't you can uphold the facade that he wouldn't ask those questions if he did notice you for a second because he hasn't given you a chance to prove or disprove how grating his personality is so limbo becomes the most comfortable state to be in sitting on the corner of this unmade bed waiting for dinner to arrive as the time stretches on in the most infinite way that only awkward family get togethers have"

Tillman Henderson doesn't read very well.

Blaseball Career

Tillman Henderson has (in his own words) one of the most historic and interesting careers in the ILB.

Henderson began pitching with the Baltimore Crabs in Season 1, (which he was terrible at) and was moved to their lineup in the Season 4 elections where he unfortunately fared much better, and was a valuable part of the Crabs’s offence as they swept through the league in the last half of the Discipline Era.

On Season 9 Day 64, Henderson was incinerated and replaced by Silvaire Roadhouse, and as per Crabs tradition his ashes were turned into Memorial Pearls and distributed to Kennedy Loser, Adalberto Tosser, Forrest Best, and Declan Suzanne.

After the conclusion of the Season 10 regular season, Henderson was unexpectedly revived by swapping places with Jaylen Hotdogfingers and joining the Charleston Shoe Thieves as a pitcher (which he was still terrible at).

In the Season 13 Elections Henderson was forced to return to the Hall of Flame alongside Sutton Picklestein, and he was replaced on the Shoe Thieves rotation by Simba Davis.

Henderson remained in the Hall gone but not forgotten, managing to gain an Ego+ modification in Season 18, which eventually led to him playing for the Rising Stars in the ILB ILB Semi-Centennial alongside former teammates Gunther O’Brian, Hewitt Best, Tot Fox and Adalberto Tosser.During the game he was stolen by the Vault Legends, where he remained for the duration of the Expansion Era alongside former teammates Nagomi McDaniel, and Hewitt Best, who was also stolen during the game.

Tabloids and Rumors

Henderson’s strange and varied career has led to a number of contradictory and unlikely rumours regarding exactly who he is and what he gets up to. This is a collection of some of the ones we have managed to find. This time, the Interdimensional Rumor Mill reveals a Rumor from IF-89.809 out of its Rumor Registry...

Return From the Trench

Upon his return from the Trench just prior to the Season 10 postseason, Tillman was noted to be "much easier to get along with" and "slightly more soft-bodied" than the player previously known as Tillman Henderson. Research by ILB reporters and Baltimore tabloid magazines quickly concluded that Tillman was, in fact, no longer the Tillman the Crabs had known and tolerated, and had in fact been replaced by a Tullimonstrum (or Tully Monster). As the new version was much more polite and easier on the eyes, despite being an equally terrible pitcher, his ILB peers quickly accepted the Tullimonstrum as ILB player Tillman Henderson. It is unknown what happened to the “original” Tillman who played for the Baltimore Crabs for Seasons 1-9, and no one cares enough to investigate.

Today, Tillman is a beloved member of the Charleston Shoe Thieves pitching rotation, and enjoys genial relationships with most of the ILB. Despite never knowing the Crabs prior to their ascension, Tillman has admitted to several reporters to "missing [his] dear friends, the Crabs" and "hoping the Crabs come down to visit soon". Tillman has also confessed in interviews to initially thinking the name Tillman was a mispronunciation of Tullimon, but being too nervous to correct anyone. However, he now seems to be comfortable answering to the name Tillman, or nicknames such as Tullman or Tilly Monster.

Tillman is a known enjoyer of smooth jazz and Muzak, and has recently released a spoken-word album of the work of Runolfio Peeper. Tillman is often seen carrying a briefcase, the contents of which are unknown. He has been seen producing Werther's Originals candies from it, as well as tissues, hand lotion, a book of the collected poems of John Keats, and hair ties (despite his own lack of hair). Tillman is thought of as a bastion of positivity in the ILB, and can be heard in the dugout frequently reminding the other Shoe Thieves to stay hydrated, and to do their best on the field.

Tillman is originally from the Mazon Creek fossil beds of Illinois, and as such, enjoys a close friendship with many of the Chicago Firefighters, including Declan Suzanne and Wesley Poole. He can often be found visiting Illinois during siestas and the off-season.

It is unknown if Tillman is originally a worm, a mollusc, an arthropod, a conodont, or a vertebrate. It is, however, known that Tillman can make a mean bolognaise sauce for team potlucks.



Edit History

  • Last edited by 69HendersonHater69 on 8/4/2020
  • Edited by CrabsLoreBard on 8/4/2020 (Comment: i give up)
  • Edited by 69HendersonHater69 on 8/4/2020
  • Edited by CrabsLoreBard on 8/2/2020 (Comment: STOP VANDALIZING THIS PAGE)
  • Edited by TillmanSux87 on 8/1/2020
  • Edited by CrabsLoreBard on 7/31/2020 (Comment: Banned)
  • Edited by SteakNShake on 7/30/2020 (Comment: hahahaha screw tillman)
  • Page created by CrabsLoreBard on 7/20/2020

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