Wesley Poole

From Blaseball Wiki

Wesley Poole was a pitcher for the Chicago Firefighters, and was with the team Season β1 until Fall Ball.

Official League Record

Poole joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Chicago Firefighters with the Return of Blaseball.

On Season β5, Day 30, Poole became a pitcher due to Reverb.

During the Season β5 election, Poole's defense rating increased by as a result of the Katamari blessing.

On Season β7, Day 95, Poole siphoned some of Miami Dale lineup player Cannonball Sports's pitching ability in a game with Blooddrain weather.

During the Season β15 elections, Poole became a lineup player via the Lead Off blessing.

On Season β20, Day 23, Poole became a pitcher due to Reverb.

Over the course of Season β23, Poole entered and exited the Firefighters' Shadows two times as a result of The Fire Safety Awareness Center Fax Machine events, ending the Season on the pitching rotation.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Box of Wesley Poole Files

Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-303.2 and start reading...

History

Wesley Poole was allegedly born to Ernest and Gabardine Poole in an undisclosed location on an undisclosed date before moving to Chicago, where he was from, to take a job at Milky Tech Preparatory Academy as well as work as a volunteer firefighter. He was Called shortly thereafter by Mx. Chicago to be the poolboy for Lake Michigan, protecting the Great Lakes from various invasive species including the colossal Asian carp (Cyprinus carpio colossus), sea vampire (Petromyzon sanguinoid), and zlebra mussel (Eqluus grevyi).

Poole is a close friend to all native lake fauna and is often found caring for them on his fireboat. It is outfitted with a harpoon gun and Royal Crown Malort cannon, as per Chicago Firefighting Code 303. When on land, Poole’s amphibious nature necessitates a water source such as his trademark pitching pool in order to remain fit to play.

Like all of us, he is from Chicago. His jersey number is 309.

Physiology

Poole is outfitted with several adaptations in order to best protect Lake Michigan from a wide range of invasive species, including:

  • Multiple rows of large, sharp teeth
  • Gills
  • Webbed fingers
  • Low-light vision
  • Bioluminescent organs, including skin markings, eyes, and possibly blood
  • Indeterminate quantity of fins
  • Aura of vague, predatory menace

He has declined any requests from SIBR for further study.

Poole has indicated that his sunglasses serve as an assistive aid for his sensitive vision, stating that without them he’d be “totally up Buffalo Creek without a paddle, man.”

Personal Life

Poole is a well-established member of the Chicago Firefighters and is noted for his cheerful and welcoming attitude towards fans. Paparazzi tend to congregate along Chicago beaches during the offseason, hoping to catch Poole and frequent companions Lou Roseheart and Swamuel Mora during their days off. However, Poole is also notably aggressive towards anyone or anything he perceives as a threat to himself, his teammates, or the delicate ecosystem of Lake Michigan. Scattered reports from one incident of suspected violence on the lakeshore noted large, ragged bite marks in several Asian carp specimens, but no human or humanoid victims were ever found.

Trivia

  • When Poole manages to pull off a fantastic play, fans can be heard chanting "The Wes Wind Blows!" from the stands.
  • Poole is an amateur lepidopterist of little skill and ill repute, using his pool net to catch butterflies and moths.
  • Wesley Poole has never been observed wearing a shirt.
  • The only tanlines present on Poole's body are under his sunglasses, which he never removes.
  • Over the Grand Siesta, Poole’s infrequent and unpredictable posts to his social media about local national parks and open space preserves drove some Firefighters Fans to create the Camp Betting Poole, speculating on what cabin or campground he would inexplicably photograph and post next.

Fan Works

Fanart

Retrieved from "https://www.blaseball.wiki/index.php?title=Wesley_Poole&oldid=104649"