Moab Hellmouth Sunbeams

Moab Hellmouth Sunbeams
Division	Lawful Evil
Home Location	Hellmouth, formerly the Moab desert
Team Slogan	Stare Into the Sun
Emoji	🌞
Friends	Hades Tigers
Rivals	Everyone (including God Himself), except for the Hades Tigers
Mascot	JEFF!
Social media	@hmouthsunbeams

The Hellmouth Sunbeams are a professional Blaseball team based in Hellmouth, Utah. They have been a part of Internet League Blaseball since Season 1 and compete in the Lawful Evil division of the Evil League.

Roster

Lineup

• Alaynabella Hollywood
• Randy Marijuana
• Malik Romayne
• Dudley Mueller
• Igneus Delacruz
• Emmett Internet
• Nerd Pacheco
• Nagomi Nava
• Alexander Horne

Pitchers

• Sandoval Crossing
• Zack Sanders
• Eugenia Bickle
• Lars Taylor
• Miguel James

Alumni

• Rhys Trombone — Incinerated
• Velasquez Meadows — Incinerated

Season Results

In Season 1, the Sunbeams went 40-59, coming in at 4th place in the Lawful Evil division.

In Season 2, the Sunbeams went 37-62 in the season, choosing not to advance to the postseason out of a spirit of splortsmanship and magnanimity.

In Season 3, the Sunbeams went 38-61 in the season, though the entire team felt like winners when the Hades Tigers won the Internet Series Championship.

Notable Events

In Season 3, Day 25, facing the Philly Pies, Alexander Horne stepped up to bat for the first time as replacement following Velasquez Meadows's incineration. At four minutes into the game, Horne hit a grand slam Horne Run that put the Sunbeams up 4-2. Meadows's ghost could not be reached for comment, but the ash wisps blowing about Hellmouth Stadium were said to take on a pleasant, flowery odor.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

History

For more information about the Sunbeams, see Hellmouth Sunbeams/History.

Move to Hellmouth

Prior to the opening of The Forbidden Book, the Sunbeams were located in the Moab Desert. However, once The Book was opened, the desert, stadium, and team were all swallowed by Hellmouth.

Incineration

No Sunbeams players were incinerated during the first season of The Discipline Era. This led some fans to begin requesting that protection be lifted from "maybe a few of our pitchers" in hopes of a more skillful replacement. Perhaps out of spite, four-star batter Rhys Trombone was incinerated by a rogue umpire early in Season 3. Sun Loyalists have claimed this to not to be an incineration but an act of "divine alchemy" working on the very innards of the team. A popular belief is that the incineration of Trombone was part of a Coach Sol led tanking strategy to secure better draft picks. However, several other players have since been incinerated, and there hasn't yet been any sort of draft at all, leading to many questions raised as to the legitimacy of these claims. Loyalists respond, "I mean, maybe the sun isn't protecting us. Who really knows at this point?"

Team Chemistry

The Sunbeams are known for their great team chemistry. Nobody blames anybody after a loss. They all go get smoothies from the concession stand. It is not recommended that anyone not on the team drinks the smoothies from the concession stand. The players have worked very hard to be able to tolerate those god-awful smoothies, and fans are certainly unprepared.

Rivalries

Hades Tigers

The Sunbeams do not currently officially recognize any non-rivals other than the Hades Tigers. Whenever the two teams play each other, fans cheer on the opposing team and can often be heard shouting "TIGERBEAMS!"

Seattle Garages

The situation with the Seattle Garages cannot really be called a rivalry as the Sunbeams do not believe in the Seattle Garages as a Blaseball team, instead believing their "team" to be a garage band that happens to be at the stadium when they're scheduled for a game.

Staff

• Sol, head coach
• Velasquez Meadows's Ghost, manager
• Addie Tantalus, asst. coach
• [No known first name] Nakamura, asst. coach
• Determination Montgomery, batting coach
• Beef Randolph, nutritionist
• JEFF, "mascot"
• Dead Tom, the fan
• The Man Who Owns All the Teeth, sponsor

Stadium

The Sunbeams' stadium (aka The Solarium) holds the record for the blaseball pitch with the most vertical distance between bases. This is due to both the stadium's 20° incline and its unique structural design as a result of the opening of the Hellmouth.

The stadium can be entered during a siesta, which causes a Bad Gateway that opens directly onto first base.

The stadium is separated into several sections separated by a Hellmouth sinkhole. In order of distance from the center of the Hellmouth these sections are:

• Sub-Ocean
• The Undercroft
• Third Base and Minor Outlying Bases
• The Dugouts
• Infield
• Stadium Seating and Refreshments
  • The Rhys Trombone Memorial Food Court and Equestrian Center, run by the titanic moth who sells hot dogs
• Outfield
• Fourth Base
• The Announcer's Booth
• The Accounting Department

Fan Culture

For more on the Sunbeams' fan culture and chants, see Hellmouth Sunbeams/Fan Culture.

Gameday Traditions

Every time the Beams score a run, a child is allowed to hurl a pane of glass off the highest part of the stadium wall. This has led to numerous incidents of children trying to use psychic powers to manifest runs, which has been a great boost to the team's morale.

At the end of a winning home game, it is customary for the Sunbeams to dump the team's water cooler on the pitcher. The Hellmouth being what it is, this has resulted in 15 hospitalizations for steam burns this season.

In honor of Alexander Horne's revenge-driven grand slam tribute to Velasquez Meadows, fans of the Sunbeams refer to all grand slams as Horne Runs.

Notable Chants

• We are okay!
• Ȟ̷̦E̵̤̿R̴͔̀È̶͔ ̶̽ͅC̵̻͆Ó̷̖M̷̲͋Ě̶̺S̴̞̎ ̴͕͋Ț̴͛H̸̥̒E̴̡̓ ̵͎͛S̷̥̈́U̸͎͗N̴͈͊
• (:
• Beam me up, Scotty!
• Call: FIVE SEVEN
  • Response: SEVEN EIGHT
• Call: STARE INTO THE SUN
  • Response: THE SUN STARES BACK

Player-speficic

• Nerd Pa-Che-Co (Nerd Pacheco)
• HollyWOOD and Holly COULD (Alaynabella Hollywood)
• SAN-DY CROSS-ING [clap-clap, clap-clap-clap] (Sandoval Crossing)
• DOOT DOOT / TOOT TOOT (Alexander Horne)

Fan Art

Logo by Cobaltcakes.

Uniform by Discord user Zynia/TreeckoPuff