Hellmouth Sunbeams/Season 5

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In Season β5 the Hellmouth Sunbeams returned to form, finishing last in the Evil League, and second-to-last in the ILB, winning no blessings in the Season β5 Elections.

While the season prior had seen things starting to improve for the Sunbeams, things came crashing down and the team hit a new all-time low with their worst win-loss record yet. Disappointments and defeats continued to snowball, with the season ending in the incineration of one of the team's best batters, Emmett Internet.

Starting Roster

Season β5 Starting Roster
Lineup Rotation

Roster Changes

Roster Changes

In Season β5 the Sunbeams were subject to one incineration.

Election Outcomes

The Hellmouth Sunbeams did not win any blessings.

Season Overview

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The following summary mixes canon events with community lore.
Season β5 for the Sunbeams was, in a single word, terrible. With their worst record yet, only saved from the bottom of the League by the Unlimited Tacos continuing to be even worse, there wasn’t much for the team to get excited about.[1]

A bright spot was found when the team had their first series with the New York Millennials, allowing native New Yorker Randy Marijuana to take the rest of the Sunbeams back home to beat his brother, Dominic Marijuana, and the Millennials with an impressive 17-2 final score on Day 70. The rest of the series did not go nearly as well, but Randy's adopted family in the Sunbeams enjoyed the opportunity to get to know Dominic[2] and his team better.

A digital drawing of Emmett Internet being incinerated while Alaynabella Hollywood shields her face from the heat of the Umpire's flames.
He Dieded.
by Olive

However, on Day 91, in a game against the Tigers, things took a turn for the worse. Beams and Tigers alike looked on in shock and horror as Emmett Internet was incinerated in the fifth inning, the second of only two incinerations in the league that season. Internet's death was particularly hard on his childhood best friend Randy Marijuana and boyfriend Ren Morin, who were both witnesses to the tragedy.

Condolences for the loss of the fan-favorite sprung up immediately, along with questions about whether Internet, or the other two recipients of last season's Precognition blessing, had seen it coming. Since Marijuana and Nava refused to comment, the theories were never formally struck down. Internet’s replacement Sutton Bishop did not make things any easier, as the goose proceeded to run wild through Hades for the remainder of that series and the next, the Sunbeams struggling to contain it. To add insult to injury, the team was dropped into the new "worst of the worst" Wild Low division following the passing of the High Filter decree during the Election.

  1. The new Reverb weather failed to look their way, and would continue to do so forever.
  2. Zack Sanders has requested the record state that any rumors that may be circulating are "literally so made up. It's normal to look at people, Miguel you weirdo!"