Shadow Moabbey

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The Shadow Moabbey is an in-universe description of the Hellmouth Sunbeams' Shadows.

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

The Shadow Moabbey is a Heliolatric monastery located on Haystack Mountain in the La Sal Mountain Range in eastern Utah, roughly 18 miles (28.9 km) east of the Hellmouth. It is home to the Order of Lanternbearers, a distant branch of Heliolatry whose monastic practice has largely revolved around the Hellmouth Sunbeams since the long-foretold Return of Blaseball. Like many institutions and organizations in Hellmouth, it is thought to have existed since both time immemorial and twenty years ago.


The Shadow Moabbey was allegedly established sometime before XXX4 by the original Order of Lanternbearers. After discovering the eldritch smoothie tree known as Smoothyggdrasil on the western edge of the La Sal Mountains, the first Lanternbearers established a small community around it. The Moabbey itself was first constructed near Oowah Lake, a small 2.9-acre (1.2 ha) lake located in the Manti-La Sal National Forest near the head of Old Mill Creek. Since then the Lanternbearers and their descendants have spent their days cultivating smoothies and brewing palatable beer, all while staying tucked away in the mountains. They have remained largely unbothered until their recent involvement with local splorts.

Most historical accounts agree that the first Moabbey was irretrievably lost in the Great Smoothie Disaster of 1XX8. No visual record remains of this original building, but according to Smoothyggdrasil, it was "a stunning work of architecture, beautifully complex, most stimulating to watch while contemplating the virtues of peanut butter in a mint chocolate smoothie."[1] On several occasions since, the smoothie tree has attempted to describe the original Moabbey's blinding opulence, but artists' renditions of the building have on all occasions resembled REDACTED, REDACTED, and occasionally REDACTED. The last recorded sketch, created in 2XX9, featured an eerily realistic REDACTED, leading the monks to suspend this practice indefinitely.

The monks finished constructing a new abbey in 2XXX, this time nestled on the northern face of Haystack Mountain. The new location, while somewhat more treacherous, brought the monks closer to the Sun and offered a spectacular view of the deserts of southeastern Utah. Although less architecturally daring than the original Moabbey, there are some pieces of note to the discerning visitor, particularly the large stained glass windows depicting an armored figure holding aloft a bleeding heart.

The monastery can be accessed via several hiking paths and mountain roads originating near the town of Hellmouth, including the world-famous "Whole Enchilada" mountain bike trail. Sunbeams players use the Mill Creek Hiking Trail to ascend to the monastery at the end of each season, then travel back to Hellmouth via the Whole Enchilada in a several-day pilgrimage known as "Big Hikey".


The smoothie tree, better known as Smoothyggdrasil, is the oldest resident of the Moabbey and is the provider of the Order's smoothies. While Smoothyggdrasil is capable of locomotion and able to navigate around the Moabbey, They spend most of their time rooted in the mouth of a colossal skull, partially embedded in the rich loam of the Shadow Moabbey's herb garden.[2]

They are a friendly sort, and make it Their mission to care for the younger, less experienced monks who attend Them. They are accompanied throughout the day by several Prospectives who tend to Their branches, harvest Their succulent Smoothies, and bring Them fresh herbal teas. Through many years of testing, Smoothyggdrasil has worked out how to influence the products of Their branches by changing what They do and how much They drink. Perhaps out of modesty, They claim the taste of Their smoothies is sometimes out of their control, and may be influenced by the massive skull's long-lost tongue.

Monastic Practice

Shortly before the Return of Blaseball, the Shadow Moabbey was contacted by a representative of the Sunbeams' management requesting assistance in training their rookie players.[3] After a few minutes of amicable negotiations, the monks agreed to help prepare said rookies for the splort as long as they help to maintain the Moabbey alongside them. The Order also started providing The Solarium's food court with their infamous smoothies. Additionally, the monks have developed a significantly more palatable recipe for their beer, which they have agreed to keep out of The Solarium's food court at all costs. In turn, the rookies, during their many labors in service to the abbey, acquire many of the skills essential to their success on the Sunbeams' active roster. These include but are not limited to:

  • Traversal of steep, mountainous terrain
  • Manuscript illumination
  • Map-and-compass navigation
  • Several brewing disciplines
  • Meditation and breath control
  • Cheese fermentation techniques
  • Advanced survival strategies
  • Extreme smoothie tolerance

If weather conditions are favorable, the Sunbeams will occasionally visit the Moabbey after home games to enjoy the extravagant smoothie bar and freshly brewed beer. When they don’t make the trip, the monks insist on delivering personalized smoothies to team members at their residences in Hellmouth, even after away games. Their method of delivery is unknown, but somehow they ensure that every hard-working player returns home to a crisp, fresh-squeezed[citation needed] smoothie in the flavor they're dreading the least on that particular day.

Paths Within the Order of Lanternbearers

There are two Paths within the Order of Lanternbearers: The Path of the Persistent and the Path of the Prospective. Initiates are able to choose the path that fits their goals best.

Path of the Persistent

Those who take on the mantle of the Persistent are the most eclectic and most devoted to the Order. Individuals from across the known and unknown worlds have been known to travel to the Moabbey, citing their reason for the journey as a certain "Tug"-like sensation.[4] They are the most commonly seen members of the Order.

Path of the Prospective

Those who take on the mantle of the Prospective have arrived at the Moabbey for the purpose of training to become a player for the Sunbeams. A Prospective's time is usually divided between actual blaseball practice and duties traditionally associated with those within the Order. The first Prospectives discovered shortly after Season β1 that they were tied to the Moabbey in unexpected ways. Unable to stray far from the abbey for extended periods, many have also found that their names and even existence slip easily from the minds of people they know — even close loved ones. These features of the Path have created a close-knit community within the Prospectives, with a sense of familial camaraderie that has withstood even such trials as the Chore Wheel.


  1. One of the few surviving records from that time includes one monk simply describing it as "an absolute bastard to clean".
  2. Rookies have been known to use the skull as a makeshift pitching machine during batting practice, thanks to one of its many inscrutable qualities: any material thrown into its eye sockets is immediately ejected at high speed.
  3. To this day, the Order still does not know why they, of all people, were contacted.
  4. A feeling described by others as 'impulsive foolishness'.