Randall Marijuana Memorial Cat Café

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COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
Sunbeams players Hahn Fox and Nagomi Nava at the cat café.
Hahn Fox and Nagomi Nava at the cat café. By larkine

The Randall Marijuana Memorial Cat Café was built to house Randall Marijuana's "singular" cat after his feedback to Breckenridge and subsequent incineration. Originally run by Alaynabella Hollywood, Nagomi Nava took over most duties, with additional assistance from Hahn Fox after Hollywood's transfer to the Boston Flowers.

As the safest and, as some customers have described, "mellowest" place in Hellmouth, it is also a popular place for fans and members of the Hellmouth Sunbeams to gather. On display within the Minecraft-themed café is Marijuana’s collection of Bionicle figures.

Cats currently available to meet at the café include Lightning, Garlic, and XAIIEOIAA. Following the Season β10 postseason and the blossoming "Hellennials" anti-rivalry, lucky visitors may also spot Millie the Bodega Cat worming her way across the café, in and out through a pair of cat flaps which mysteriously appeared on the skirting boards near the start of Season β11.

Randall Marijuana's Cat

Randy's Cat Café is actually home to several cats, but Randy was too stoned to realize it. If you would like to see a list of all cats in the café, or give a new cat a home in the Café, click Randy's Cat Café. If you would like to edit this cat, click C-Goldenclaw. This system is based on the Interdimensional Rumor Mill, which can be read all about at Interdimensional Rumor Mill.

Goldenclaw

Goldenclaw is Randall Marijuana's cat. Goldenclaw is a crab that weighs about 7 pounds, and has a bright blue carapace. Goldenclaw has two claws, like a normal crab, except his left claw is a golden-yellow prosthetic. Goldenclaw was injured while being fished out of the ocean, which caught the attention of fisherwoman Janice Roblox, a fan of the Hellmouth Sunbeams. She rescued, naming him Robert, and gave him a long and happy life, including the addition of the golden-yellow prosthetic. As Janice aged, she was no longer able to provide for Robert. Randall had heard that a Sunbeams fan needed help taking care of her beloved pet, and offered to adopt the crab. When Randall visited Janice to pick up Robert, who Randall would be seeing for the first time, he saw Robert's prosthetic and shouted "He has a golden claw!" and promptly forgot Robert's original name. Goldenclaw has since lived happily among the cats of Randy's Cat Cáfe.