Randall Marijuana's Cat/C-Charlemange
Cat / Community LoreRandy's Cat Cáfe is actually home to several cats, but Randy was too stoned to realize it. If you would like to see a list of all cats in the cáfe, or give a new cat a home in the Cáfe, click Randy's Cat Cáfe. This system is based on the Interdimensional Rumor Mill, which can be read all about at Interdimensional Rumor Mill.
Charlemange
Taken from "Old Opossum's Guide of Finicky Felines" by S. L. Steams
Out of every cat (I've seen many, at that)
In the Hellmouth's Unusual Fauna
There's none more strange than Charlemange
Owned by Randall Marijuana
He's a regal sort, with his whiskers trimmed short
And his coat always freshly groomed
You could see your reflection, should it be his election
To let you look without being consumed
For if Charlemange smiles- he does once in a while-
His jaw opens unusually wide
And so many teeth will become unsheathed-
Like a vortex of daggers inside!
And you might feel a pull, like he's gripped your soul-
Pulling you further in
And you can scream and shout, but you'll never get out
Not once your harvesting begins
Now have no fear, for when Randy is near
Charlemange's just a normal cat
But if Randy's out fishin', and that mouth starts twitchin'
RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN
RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN
So if you see Charlemange, and a look you exchange,
And you catch a sort of gleam in his eye,
You can admire from far, but stay right where you are-
Unless of course dear Randy's nearby!
Out of every feline (and there's many, you might find)
That stroll around Randy's house
Charlemange's the one that ended me, I'm done,
And he'll never ever let me out
And he'll never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever
ever
let
me
OUT
