Grollis Zephyr

From Blaseball Wiki

Grollis Zephyr is a lineup player for the Tokyo Lift, and has been with the team since the Season 10 elections.

Official League Records

Zephyr joined the ILB as a pitcher for the Tokyo Lift during the Season 10 elections after the Ascension of the Baltimore Crabs.

During the Season 20 elections, Zephyr retreated to the Lift's Shadows as a result of the Lift's Move will, resulting in a combined 14.9 -> 15.4 stat increase.

On Season 21, Day 76, Zephyr joined the Lift's lineup in exchange for Rylan O'Lantern at Tokyo Fitness Center via the Ratified Voicemail.

During the Season 22 elections, Zephyr gained the Skipping modification as a result of the Record Scratch blessing.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Box of Grollis Zephyr Files

Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-19.97 and start reading...

Early Life

Grollis Zephyr spent hyr youth chasing roles in films and television shows to follow in the footsteps of hyr mother, fitness coach and action movie star Arda Zephyr. Despite hyr surname’s fame, hyr halfhearted acting left casting directors unimpressed. After a few gigs in minor roles and many rejections, Grollis admitted that hyr interests lay elsewhere, eventually taking on a part-time job as a theme park tokusatsu actor while continuing to live with Arda.

Lazarus Pit

In hyr freetime, Zephyr pursued hyr own passions as an avid amateur speleologist, ecologist, obscure bootleg game connoisseur, and taxidermist. Ze gained particular notoriety in spelelogical communities for hyr contributions to the exploration and mapping of several cave systems, and one time said that the slow rate at which caves change was a welcome change of pace from a busy and stressful life of dealing with an ever-changing world. Hyr explorations would eventually re-uncover the Lazarus Pit located under Dilsneyworld, and some have observed that in low lighting ze appears almost bioluminescent, possibly due to side effects of prolonged contact with the water of the Pit. Zephyr has advised against other amateur speleologists and thrillseekers exploring the Pit, stating that rumors of the Pit offering immortality are misleading, overblown, and wildly dangerous.

Joining the Lift

When the Lift formed, the late captain and founder Stijn Strongbody appointed Arda to be one of the team’s coaches and she convinced Grollis to join the team’s rotation, as ze “really need[ed] to get out there and socialize more.” Grollis readily accepted, likely because the Lift’s stadium often came to rest directly above the Pit.

Upon joining the Lift, Zephyr quickly joined a close-knit group known as “Brokyo,” consisting of Val Hitherto, Coolname Galvanic, Yusef Fenestrate, and Gerund Pantheocide. Their antics caused Strongbody and the other more responsible members of the team many a grey hair, as Fenestrate and Pantheocide’s common sense appeared to be nullified in the presence of the others. At one point they made a short-lived band in which Zephyr played the drums, and Zephyr often hosted game nights showcasing the worst of the bootleg games ze had dredged up from the depths of the internet. Of the group, Zephyr was most often seen in the presence of Fenestrate and Hitherto.

As a pitcher, hyr career was strikingly mediocre but other members of the rotation were often worse. Never the biggest problem, but never an asset, Zephyr drew Fan ire both for hyr unfriendly personality and hyr consistently lackluster on-field performance. Despite Fans jeering at hyr from the stands, ze appeared unphased, merely saying, “they hate me because I lose games? Well hey, the feeling’s mutual.”

A Rivalry

During their first season together, Zephyr and Pantheocide realized that they pitched “in the exact same way. Like literally, we’re pitching twins,” and the two entered a good-natured rivalry. As Zephyr ended the season with a better record than Pantheocide, Pantheocide endeavored to party once more than Zephyr, attaining a lead. This lead continued for the duration of their time together on the rotation, as every improvement one made was quickly followed up by the other. Pantheocide unintentionally put an end to it when she moved to hitting and became the team’s star hitter and co-captains with Fenestrate. Zephyr, feeling that despite all hyr growth ze had been left behind not only by Pantheocide but by Fenestrate and Galvanic as well, fell from that friend group entirely. In the following seasons, Zephyr drifted between the Lift’s social circles, befriending a number of players, but with the exception of Elwin McGhee’s alternate and Rylan O’Lantern, most did not stay on the team for long. This led Zephyr to believe that no matter how much ze changed, ze would always be left behind in some way or another, and ze spent more and more time in the Lazarus Pit.

Following Pantheocide’s death in Season 21, Zephyr was one of three players on the team who partied, and the only one of those three to have known her. After getting shadowed and emerging onto the lineup, Zephyr finally became a better pitcher and baserunner than Pantheocide, and the same season as she was resurrected by the ILB Semi-Centennial, Zephyr benefited from a division hitting boost that ended hyr career at a tantalizing 0.02 batting stars less than hyr formerly deceased rival, in the same position in the lineup Pantheocide had initially occupied.

Skipping

During hyr stay in the shadows, Zephyr decided to go deeper into the Lazarus Pit than ever before, spending months in the twisting Infinite depths without emerging. After voicemailing out of the shadows and into active play as a batter, something about Zephyr was different, and when asked ze merely made a vague comment comparing the Legscraper and the Pit to a set of parallel lines. It is suspected there is some connection between hyr comment and hyr earlier claims of the misleading and dangerous nature of the Pit, but it is uncertain whether ze has actually taken the Pit up on its “offers of immortality.” Regardless, Fans speculate that whatever ze had experienced in the Pit, it transformed hyr nature in such a fundamental way that ze was unmoored from the normal passage of time, Skipping through blaseball and showing up to bat with strikes and balls from pitches that hadn’t happened in the same timeline the Fans watched. Even as the end of Blaseball drew near, ze began to approach each game with a carefree sort of irreverence, quite literally skipping up to the plate without appearing to care about the outcome.

Trivia

  • Zephyr's face is always partially obscured in photographs and videos, though the cause of obfuscation varies. Common causes range from sunglasses, face masks, shadows, a bird conveniently flying past just as the photo is taken, a dirty camera lens, to the files themselves becoming corrupted. Nobody has observed this phenomenon when meeting Zephyr in person.
  • To Grollis’s chagrin, when Mags Banananana arrived on the Lift she quickly fell into a relationship with Arda Zephyr, becoming Grollis’s unofficial step-mother. Grollis has since joined a group chat of Banananana’s other children, step-children, and grandchildren.
  • Zephyr made a brief background appearance as Dilsney’s first gay character in the film “MBP 2: Miku Binder Primate,” a modern reimagining of the classic "MVP 2: Most Vertical Primate," starring Stijn Strongbody.
  • After Zephyr’s computer became unusable due to the vast array of viruses ze accrued while downloading bootleg games, it was enshrined in a glass case in the Legscraper’s conservatory, next to the memorial gardens.


Fan Works