Tillman Henderson

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The subject of this page has been Preserved.
They may have participated in the ILB Semi-Centennial. No other information is available after their entry into the Vault. Tour the collection here.
In case of incomplete records, post on the Talk page.

Tillman Henderson is a lineup player for the Vault Legends, and has been with the team since the ILB Semi-Centennial. Henderson previously played for the Baltimore Crabs, Charleston Shoe Thieves, and Rising Stars.

Official League Records

Henderson joined the ILB as a pitcher for the Baltimore Crabs with the Return of Blaseball.

During the Season 4 elections, Henderson swapped positions from pitcher to lineup player as a result of the Mutual Aid blessing.

During the Season 5 elections, Henderson received boosts in all ratings as well as a boost in baserunning as a part of the Crabs' Horde Hallucinations, and Rollback Netcode blessings.

On Season 7, Day 74, Henderson siphoned some of Miguel James' baserunning ability.

Henderson was incinerated on Season 9, Day 64, and replaced by Silvaire Roadhouse. Henderson returned to Active status following an idol board-related feedback swap with Jaylen Hotdogfingers after the Season 10 regular season concluded.

During the Season 10 elections, Henderson received Noise-Cancelling Headphones, becoming Soundproof. (The Headphones would later be lost, along with all other Discipline Era items across the league, at the beginning of Season 15.)

During the Coffee Cup, Henderson played for the Cold Brew Crew as a lineup player.

During the Season 12 elections Henderson received a combined stat change of 16.2 → 20.2 as a result of the Shoe Thieves' Infuse will.

During the Season 13 Elections, Henderson's Returned modification activated, pulling them back into the Hall of Flame. Henderson was replaced by Simba Davis.

During the ILB Semi-Centennial, Henderson played for the Rising Stars, until they were collected and made Legendary by the Vault Legends.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

History

Tillman Henderson is the worst person in the entire splort of Blaseball with an effortless heel persona. Put simply, he sucks. Truly reprehensible. Absolute wasteman. No time for this clown.

Known Traits

Tillman Henderson is known by many to be “The Worst” but many readers have submitted more detailed descriptions of exactly how Henderson is the worst, and how he has personally wronged them. Here is the latest selection, though new reports will show up any time you refresh the page, and the full list can be found here

Tillman Henderson was told by the mothercrab that he had to sacrifice himself in order for Nagomi Mcdaniel to get out of the shell, and it sucked, but he did it anyway.

Tillman Henderson says he's bi "because since everyone is obviously into me, it'd be unfair to them if I wasn't"

Tillman Henderson and Kennedy Loser have matching tattoos. Kennedy, nice beyond measure unlike Tillman, might be the only person in the world who can tolerate Tillman at length. Tillman, in turn, hangs onto his every word like a starved puppy, but tries with all his might to be blasé about it. This is a relationship where Ken is Tillman's best friend but Tillman is absolutely not Ken's best friend, and Tillman knows this though he would never say it out loud.

Blaseball Career

Tillman Henderson has (in his own words) one of the most historic and interesting careers in the ILB.

Henderson began pitching with the Baltimore Crabs in Season 1, (which he was terrible at) and was moved to their lineup in the Season 4 elections where he unfortunately fared much better, and was a valuable part of the Crabs’s offence as they swept through the league in the last half of the Discipline Era.

On Season 9 Day 64, Henderson was incinerated and replaced by Silvaire Roadhouse, and as per Crabs tradition his ashes were turned into Memorial Pearls and distributed to Kennedy Loser, Adalberto Tosser, Forrest Best, and Declan Suzanne.

After the conclusion of the Season 10 regular season, Henderson was unexpectedly revived by swapping places with Jaylen Hotdogfingers and joining the Charleston Shoe Thieves as a pitcher (which he was still terrible at).

In the Season 13 Elections Henderson was forced to return to the Hall of Flame alongside Sutton Picklestein, and he was replaced on the Shoe Thieves rotation by Simba Davis.

Henderson remained in the Hall gone but not forgotten, managing to gain an Ego+ modification in Season 18, which eventually led to him playing for the Rising Stars in the ILB ILB Semi-Centennial alongside former teammates Gunther O’Brian, Hewitt Best, Tot Fox and Adalberto Tosser.During the game he was stolen by the Vault Legends, where he remained for the duration of the Expansion Era alongside former teammates Nagomi McDaniel, and Hewitt Best, who was also stolen during the game.

Tabloids and Rumors

Henderson’s strange and varied career has led to a number of contradictory and unlikely rumours regarding exactly who he is and what he gets up to. This is a collection of some of the ones we have managed to find. This time, the Interdimensional Rumor Mill reveals a Rumor from IF-62.79 out of its Rumor Registry...

Origins

Henderson is just a terrible person. He sucks. Nobody likes him.

He got a spot in the pitching roster because his father, Thrillman J. Henderson, was a hedge fund manager who recommended an accountant with questionable methods to the Crabs' Chief Financial Officer.

His father, always off on business trips or playing glolf, delegated all affection for his son through a paycheck. Starved for attention, armed with financial wherewithal, and sheltered from human decency, Tillman has doubled down again and again on bastard behavior and sustained himself on the ire of his peers because "all publicity is good publicity," which is a really weird way to respond to your friend accusing you of finishing all the milk and then putting the empty carton back in the fridge.

He is not a Baltimore native, and frequently leaves the Crabitat to vacation at his father's summer homes when he is not pitching a game. He has stated several times that he "cannot be killed" by the rogue umpires, but he may in fact be bribing them to keep from being incinerated. He has a matching arm tattoo with Kennedy Loser.

Baltimore

Tillman Henderson has been the greatest lesson in boundary recognition and reinforcement the Crabs have ever had, with the exception of Kennedy Loser who is cursed with the urge to check in on all his teammates.

Tillman Henderson craves validation with desperation, and hangs onto Kennedy Loser's every word like a sad puppy and he sucks at hiding it. He knows that Ken is his best friend but that he is not Ken's best friend and he tries really hard not to think about it. Nobody on the team will ever admit a single positive thing about Tillman Henderson on fear that it would reach him and he would lord it over them until he died. They would later find out that even dying doesn't stop him from doing that.

Since joining the Internet League and getting exposed to somewhat decent people, any improvements in behavior have not been noted. However, Tillman is not actually genuinely bad enough to warrant kicking from the team, especially once the entire city of Baltimore collectively learned what buttons to push to keep him within tolerance levels. However, some new really low prank or get-rich-quick scheme (he is already rich??) is always brewing up in his head and any lull in behavior is just cause for paranoia.

Tillman Henderson has admitted to doing so many stupid things that at this point nobody is sure what is or isn't true about him anymore. Combined with the sense that he's always about to pull something, Baltimore residents have taken up blaming him for just about anything and everything that happens in their day to day lives, and most of the time, they're right.

Cloning Facility And Extended Siesta

During the extended siesta, Tillman discovered a large group of much nicer Tillman clones living in the woods of Maryland, having escaped from the Henderson Cloning Facility and built a life for themselves in the forest. Tillman hired a pirate physicist to create a quantum field interdimensional transporter, transported himself to another dimension with higher technology, and hired another pirate physicist with more advanced technology to create a hyperquantum interdimensional pocket universe entangler, which he used to send the nice Tillman clones to a pocket universe, eliminating any chance of escaping incineration in the process.

Tillman also tried growing a soul patch during the extended siesta.

Incineration

Conflicting reports abound, despite thousands of witnesses in the stands. Some report Tillman flipping off the umpire with one hand and flipping off the fans with another. Some report Tillman pleading in the face of his mortality for the first time. Some report him getting up close and shouting at the umps, last words: "what are you gonna do, incinerate me?" Only one thing felt for certain: if he ever comes back, it would inflate his ego in the worst way.

Rumors were afloat that Henderson made a deal with the umpires to exchange his life for Nagomi Mcdaniel's freedom, after his one and only conversation with the Mother Crab. Tillman would tell you those rumors are true because they sound like a pretty cool thing to have done and that just makes them feel all the less believable. Nagomi was one of the few members of the Crabs who openly loathed Tillman, often leaving the room whenever he would walk in, and declined to comment when pressed, but a sneer makes for an awful poker face.



Edit History

  • Last edited by 69HendersonHater69 on 8/4/2020
  • Edited by CrabsLoreBard on 8/4/2020 (Comment: i give up)
  • Edited by 69HendersonHater69 on 8/4/2020
  • Edited by CrabsLoreBard on 8/2/2020 (Comment: STOP VANDALIZING THIS PAGE)
  • Edited by TillmanSux87 on 8/1/2020
  • Edited by CrabsLoreBard on 7/31/2020 (Comment: Banned)
  • Edited by SteakNShake on 7/30/2020 (Comment: hahahaha screw tillman)
  • Page created by CrabsLoreBard on 7/20/2020

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