Kennedy Loser

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Revision as of 23:35, 28 October 2022 by Lonestarlars (talk | contribs) (hof infobox)

Kennedy Loser is a lineup player for the Baltimore Crabs, and has been with the team since Season 1.

Official League Records

Loser is perhaps best known for their home run in the 20th inning that brought the Crabs to an 8-6 victory over the Breckenridge Jazz Hands on day 52 of Blaseball Season 2.

During the Season 5 election, Loser received boosts in all ratings as well as a boost in baserunning as a part of the Crabs' Horde Hallucinations, Falling Stars, and Rollback Netcode blessings.

On Season 10, Day X, Loser gained the Flinch modification after the Crabs lost to THE SHELLED ONE'S PODS.

During the Season 12 elections, Loser's defense was increased by 3.2 3.9 as a result of the Crabs' The Rack blessing.

On Season 13, Day 89, Loser became Reverberating due to Reverb weather.

During the Season 15 elections, Loser's Flinch modification was changed into the Haunted modification by the Crabs' Reform will.

During the Season 22 elections, Loser became an Alternate and gained the Negative modification due to the Handful Alternate Trust blessing.


COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Box of Kennedy Loser Files

Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-65.408 and start reading...

Marriage

Kennedy is married. This came as a surprise to many of the Crabs, who did not even realize that he was married to the person he kept bringing over to their gatherings, until the very day of ascension when he brought up in conversation, "I am going to miss my husband." Kennedy's husband is named Terry. They love each other very much. Terry doesn't really 'get' the whole blaseball thing, but hey, it's Ken's job, and they want to be supportive.

Terry is short for

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Nissan Xterra Loser. In interviews, they explained, "When I was going in for my name change, I didn't know what to go with so I picked out the first thing that I saw." Court records state that the judge suggested they take some more time for deeper consideration, to which they responded "Screw you," and proceeded to punch the district judge in the mouth. Ever since then, they stuck with the name as an act of spite against the legal system and its expectations of normativity. They are a modestly successful tattoo artist and engraver who specializes in working over carcinized skin and shell.

Supposedly the two of them met at a riot, but it wasn't a particularly cordial first impression. Kennedy was performing street medic duties (because of course he does) when Terry got in a heated argument with him about whether the water-antacid solution works against pepper spray or if it's a myth and regular saline is preferable, all while writhing on the asphalt. When they met again on a proper date (at the insistence of a mutual friend), they eventually recognized each other from that time and it was really embarrassing.

Fan Art