Kennedy Loser/Rumor Registry

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Kennedy Loser has 7 Rumors written about so far.

Kennedy Loser/IF-121.90

In Literature

Crabs poet Laureate Runolfio Peeper wrote the following poem about Loser's most famous game:

The score was tied, and the time was dire
When Kennedy Loser grabbed his bat.
We shouted his name, a chaotic choir,
As he rose from the dugout and doffed his hat,
He took a step, tripped, and fell down flat.
And at this sign, we all sighed and knew
This game might never end, and also that
This man was a loser, through and through.

The inning was twenty, the hour ticking down,
And Kennedy wiped his hands on his pants.
He minced to the plate, his face in a frown,
He tested his swing and his feet did a dance.
He stared at the pitcher, awaiting his chance,
Then, just incredible! He tumbled to!
He had fallen again, and lay there askance.
This man was a loser, through and through

There were two outs, and a man on first base,
As Kennedy pushed himself to his feet.
Our hopes were dismal as he took his place,
And everyone said he looked slightly beat.
He stood like a stone; felt the first fastball’s heat,
“Strike one!” We all heard. And then a “Strike two!”
He looked gone and lost, like he couldn’t compete;
This man was a loser, through and through.

A double spillover? We looked at the clock.
Kennedy readjusted, tense but unbowed,
And met the next pitch with a titanic knock.
The ball raced away, disappeared in a cloud,
And Kennedy turned and spoke to the crowd
“Ask not what Mother Crab can do for you!”
Then he rounded the bases, beaming and proud.
This Loser a winner, through and through.

Kennedy Loser/IF-14.227

Burnouts at the Helm

Kennedy's fire got burnt out in the wake of the Crab Reckoning, reeling from the loss of Finn James and wandering the gasping wreckage of his city. For a time he directed himself everywhere and nowhere, rapidly depressurizing, and for a much longer time after, he directed himself towards those he was close to; his teammates, his loved ones. Kennedy didn't take on the responsibility of 'team dad' right away, but he took whatever responsibilities he could to help, if it just meant having a focus, and when Combs wasn't there to hold him back from biting off too much more than he could chew anymore, he slid seamlessly into the captain's seat. As one of the three captains, Kennedy primarily sought a nurturing role, but knows all too well that gentleness and violence are not opposites.

Like his co-captain, Brock Forbes, it isn't that Kennedy doesn't feel anger, just, the everpresent existential rage against god has given way to smoke and exhaustion for him, dimmed into a static simmer. So when he sees that anger in his crew, he wants to stoke it, he wants to cup his hand against the wind to protect it, he wants to teach them how to use it. Because he's seen what that anger can do. And like Brock, it makes him so proud to see. And unlike Brock, it makes him so, so afraid.

Loser and 'Winner

By the Ascension, it was pretty clear that Kennedy was pushing himself too hard at the helm, despite persistent blooddrain, despite navigating through every new disaster. When the Crabs finally achieved what they have been striving for, before vanishing from the plane, there was an agreement to try and reaffirm the team's relationship with him on more equal measure. When the elections struck and three Crabs were suddenly replaced by total strangers, the team didn't take it well at all. In particular, Kennedy and Brock made poor first impressions with the new Fridays, which didn't bode well for their elevated futures together.

In particular, Baldwin Breadwinner, surprisingly willing to hold a grudge for someone who has taken 'forgive and forget' to a whole new level, held their new teammates at arm's length, despite Kennedy's attempts to smooth things over. Without his old coping mechanisms on hand, and with three of his closest friends gone, Kennedy was spiraling. It was thanks to Bevan Underbuck's warm and gentle temperament, and their shared sense of loss, of both parts of themselves and of others, that helped him get back on his feet, and in turn he helped bring Bevan out of his shell and into the fold. Or out of his fold and into a shell. Or something. It's a crab joke.

Baldwin, surprised that Ken had broken through to the one person they thought would be the most withdrawn among the three (though perhaps he just finds himself withdrawn around Baldwin in particular), took that as a sign to revisit their first impression of the Crabs and reach out to make the most of the undefined span of time they're all going to spend together. To Kennedy's surprise, now, they ended up getting along really well with Brock, in a weird lightly terrifying way.

Kennedy and Baldwin in turn took the time to give one another a second chance, and it was exactly what Ken needed at this tumultuous time. Baldwin presented to him a fresh eyed no-BS perspective on what's going on with the team, and they, along with Bevan, gave him a blank canvas with which to practice getting closer to them as equals and not as the team dad. And so, it helped him recalibrate his behavior with the others to do the same, with the exception of Evelton McBlase II, who he and Baldwin micromanage constantly in order to minimize chaos as a bonding experience.

Ghosts Long Past

Upon returning to the field after ascension, Loser was hit with a number of difficult events one after another. Losing co-captians Forrest Best and Brock Forbes, as well as Silvaire Roadhouse, the necromancy of York Silk and the redaction of Nagomi Mcdaniel and Alyssa Harrell all took their toll on the now lone captain. In all of this chaos, Loser was inflicted with another curse, to be haunted by the spirits of the dead. At this point longtime teammate Pedro Davids stepped in to convince Loser to take some time off. Davids took charge of the team alongside some of their new players, leaving Loser time and space to start trying to pick up the pieces.

After weeks of dread, Loser was visited by the spirit he was least looking forward to, that of their previous captain Combs Duende. It was hard not to try and compare them. Duende had lost Nora Perez to incineration before she met the same fate. Loser had lost Duende, Tillman Henderson, Best, Mcdaniel, and Harrell in quick succession. The team only had a handful of their original members, and despite having ascended, Loser still felt the sting of failure at the losses they had faced, and how that measured up to their first captain’s record.

Duende was never a person of many words. Even in the Reckoning she led with actions. As such Duende did not waste words on Loser’s predicament. She did not spend time reassuring him that he did the best he could, or telling him that she was proud of him. The two of them did talk, but it was about the team, and about blaseball, and about hobbies and the goings-on in the trench. Slowly Loser was able to dismantle the memories of Duende he had built up, and squared them back into place with the figure before him. A captain who did her best, just like he did.

The Ghost of Chorby Soul

By season 17 Loser's haunting had begun to weigh heavily on him. With other members of the team taking on some of his responsibilities as captain, he found himself drifting away from the land of the living as he was constantly surrounded by those who had passed. It was however the arrival of Chorby Soul that sparked life back into Loser. Soul arrived to the team after two seasons of being attacked by consumers, and their second necromancy, unstable, and starting the season with two eclipse games. For most of the league it was simply hoped that Soul would be incinerated quickly, and that whoever their instability chained to would survive the experience. For Loser however, he found he simply could not leave it at that. The two had become briefly acquainted during Season 16 Day 98, when Soul had haunted Loser during a game, and now they came face to face again. Despite their impending doom, Loser sought out Soul to offer a place to stay, a warm meal, and company in the short time they had on the team. Chorby Soul was incinerated on Season 17 Day 1, and inhabited Kennedy Loser on Season 17 Day 6, 86, and 88, their first and last haunts of that season.

An Alternate - Left Unread

In the Season 22 Election Kennedy Loser’s alternate was called, and while now sporting a much different set of attributes and skill on the field, off the field many teammates struggled to point out any differences in Loser’s behaviour. When asked directly Loser simply replied that “I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what might be different here, or if I’m different here, or if there’s another me somewhere else, but honesty? I’m just as happy to have found things just like I left them, ready for the next season.”, and after many chaotic seasons both within the team and in the broader league it was hard to deny that the Crabs were as steady as they had been in a long time.

Heart of the Team

Even with the many trades, feedbacks, incinerations, and changes the Crabs had faced over the course of the Expansion Era the team was in a healthy place, both in their games and in themselves, and while he could never admit it, much of this was thanks to Kennedy Loser. As people passed through the team it was Loser who would always ensure that you could be a part of the team while you were there. Once they left many found themselves staying in touch, or ever just exchanging friendly words across the field in games. Where once there were strangers there were now old teammates and friends. When a player passed Loser would carry their pearl as well, collecting and saving their memories even as many of them continued to visit in death.

From Jessica Telephone to Jacoby Podcast, there was no Crab or ex-Crab who would turn down an invitation to Loser’s townhouse to have a meal and catch up. Loser’s legacy as team captain was nothing like the team’s previous captains, or their leaders in the Reckoning, but his success was unquestionable as the heart of the Baltimore Crabs.

Towards the Event Horizon

As the Black Hole opened up and teams were given the ability to steer themselves to their final destination, Kennedy Loser had a choice to make. In his long years as captain, and surviving the first Crab Reckoning as well as Day X, he had many thoughts about what it meant to fight a God. There were sacrifices that would have to be made, and he had made them. In fact several members of the team had. He got together with the longest serving members of the team, Pedro Davids and Finn James, and the three of them had a long, occasionally heated, discussion on what to do. In the end it was decided that they would not put their uninitiated teammates through the same struggles they had faced. They did not need to sacrifice themselves for this case, so they chose not to. James was unhappy with this outcome, Loser was uncharacteristically firm in this decision, not leaving much room for debate, but as the team packed up and headed for the new Horizon they did it together, and awaited the end of the word.

Kennedy Loser/IF-65.408

Marriage

Kennedy is married. This came as a surprise to many of the Crabs, who did not even realize that he was married to the person he kept bringing over to their gatherings, until the very day of ascension when he brought up in conversation, "I am going to miss my husband." Kennedy's husband is named Terry. They love each other very much. Terry doesn't really 'get' the whole blaseball thing, but hey, it's Ken's job, and they want to be supportive.

Terry is short for

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Terror Loser. None of the other Crabs have ever met Terry, but know him only by the wake of despair that marks his passing. Terry's influence spanned the western shores of central Chesapeake, and prior to his marriage with Kennedy, the governor of Maryland had placed Calvert County under a state of emergency. After several failed (reporters have gone as far as to say 'bungled,' even) extraction and evacuation attempts on the populace, the state had begun deliberations to designate the entire region as Lost/Uninhabited despite still being populated.

The Baltimore Crabs team captains were contracted to settle the affair, and while defending against tangible unidentified threats was familiar ground for Forrest Best and Brock Forbes, Terry was one of the only targets known to have eluded them on record. When it was clear that they'd need all hands on deck here, Kennedy got directly involved with the operation. The events that follow have not been debriefed, reported, nor witnessed, but soon after, the hold over Calvert County had been lifted, science teams have determined the region safe, and life returned to normal. Kennedy and Terry were wed, with █████ ████████ as witness, the court records were immediately sealed.

Baltimore tabloid Softshell Hardball managed to wring out a brief interview with Kennedy some years later to shed light on his and Terry's private life. Kennedy, well trained in PR, kept a cool head as he deftly dodged muck with a smile, until the reporter insinuated that his marriage might have been a political arrangement to pacify Terry's reign. Soured, he vehemently denied it as such, assured the press that he and Terror are in deeply love and kiss, like, a lot, and refused to answer any further questions.

When Terry is home with Kennedy is the only time that his door has been confirmed to be locked. Most days, though, Terry still roams the coasts, but eyewitness reports have dropped to acceptable levels so he is no longer considered a credible threat. He doesn't target populated areas or livestock anymore, but he's definitely still out there. He's definitely still hungry.

Kennedy Loser/IF-65.907

Private Life

Loser is often described as a father figure by many of the Crabs. "It's like, he doesn't always get your music or understand why you're wearing you cap backwards but he's always at the grill come BBQ day and he's saved a hot dog just for you."

When asked about Kennedy in a 1994 interview, Combs Duende stated "Loser is an absolute sweetheart. He'll help out the newer players with their batting technique, he'll shout nice things across the diamond. Stuff like that. Man, one time he comes into the dugout with a walkman, some new Garages joint playing and he obviously doesn't like it but talking about how he's trying to connect with us. It's real sweet. Or like one time he just borrows one of the ride-on mowers after the game, just to try it out. Obviously having the time of his life chugging around at 5 miles per hour."

Loser has been married for years, though his spouse has stayed out of the public eye. Loser is reportedly "extremely happy" with his husband, but his colleagues, such as Enid Marlow and Conner Haley have openly questioned the match, stating that the "vibes" are "bad". While it is likely that Loser will one day succumb to the fires of incineration, many of his teammates express a mix of worry, concern, and monetary bets that his husband will use the cover of incinerations to collect on Loser's sizable life insurance policy.

Loser is known to have a matching arm tattoo with Tillman Henderson.

Less Private Life

Since the election in Season 15, Kennedy Loser has been dealing with a bad case of being very haunted. Luckily he seems to be taking this in stride, welcoming in the new ghosts and apparitions into his life with increasing frequency. Loser has expressed relief at seeing old friends and new faces on both in games, in his flat, and visiting the Clawliday Inn after games to unwind.

Tillman Henderson has made several appearances in games, but has also stuck around afterwards, often getting Loser banned from bars and other nearby establishments, doing vape tricks, or just all around getting into trouble. However Henderson also has been reported to take care of common household tasks that Loser finds tedious, like re-seasoning cast-iron pans, separating recycling, and keeping an eye on him when Loser is consumed by the call of the werecrab within him once a month.

Another common visitor is the recently deceased Luis Acevedo who has been taking the opportunity to work on Loser’s personal style alongside fellow Crab Trinity Smaht. While Loser does not have the patience or drive to work on it himself, Acevedo and Smaht are happy to figure out what shades of lipstick suit him and take care of his nails while he’s being possessed. For his part Loser has been having a great time with the new looks, and is glad to see the two of them getting along.

An Alternate: Wrong Number

In the Season 22 Election Kennedy Loser’s Alternate was called onto the Crabs. While it seemed at first that his reality lined up very closely with our known reality, Pedro Davids, the last original member of the Crabs on the team after Loser, found himself cataloging a number of minor differences. For instance Loser seemed to prefer his coffee black now, used a different locker, and had reacted with barely concealed confusion the first time someone mentioned the First World War. This led to Davids spending time going over historical events, and realizing that the further back they went, the more the two diverged on their stories. Once the Discipline Era began it seemed the two were mostly in sync, but Davids did wonder if there were other changes that Loser simply chose not to disclose.

A Ghostly Presence

On Day 30 of season 20 Shannon Chamberlain of the Maryland Squirrels stepped up to the plate for the Baltimore Crabs, inhabiting Kennedy Loser, before being interrupted by Conner Haley getting caught stealing a base, ending the inning. This resulted in a strange affliction where Chamberlain simply didn’t leave. Through the Expansion Era Loser gained a companion for the various highs and lows and ends of the world. When asked about Chamberlain, Loser would often make vague statements or complain that they would not stop heckling the other ghosts.

In the final season of the Expansion Era , Chamberlain grew morose, with the determination that “it’s all happening again isn’t it?”, often chiding the attempts of the league to fight against their fates or work together towards an end, and generally unimpressed with the state of the game and confident they know how this story would end. This remained true right until the Black Hole nullified the Philly Pies at which point they exclaimed “holy ***** did you see that?” and admitted that maybe this season might not be what they expected.

Towards The Event Horizon

As the Black Hole opened up and teams were given the ability to steer themselves to their final destination, Kennedy Loser had a choice to make. In his long years as captain, and surviving the first Crab Reckoning as well as Day X, he had many thoughts about what it meant to fight a God. There were sacrifices that would have to be made, and he had made them. In fact several members of the team had. He got together with the longest serving members of the team, Pedro Davids and Finn James, and the three of them had a long, occasionally heated, discussion on what to do. In the end it was decided that they would not put their uninitiated teammates through the same struggles they had faced. They did not need to sacrifice themselves for this case, so they chose not to. James was unhappy with this outcome, Loser was uncharacteristically firm in this decision, leaving Davids to wonder if perhaps there were things Loser was leaving out of his alternate timeline, but as the team packed up and headed for the new Horizon they did it together, and awaited the end of the word.

Kennedy Loser/IF-67.460

On Being A Loser

Loser stated in an interview that while they were previously known as Loser Kennedy, they swapped their first and last names to avoid the Kennedy curse. They have also stated that their favorite part of any blaseball game is hearing a stadium shout "Loser! Loser! Loser!" and that they are "fueled by hate."

While they have successfully avoided the nominative phenomenon known as the "Kennedy curse," it is theorized that Kennedy has harbored a "Loser aura" since the name change, causing nearby batters—both on the Crabs and the opposing team—to make horrible mistakes. Although this theory has not yet been proven, it may help to explain why so many ground outs are hit to Kennedy Loser, and why they seem to be incapable of hitting a ball 90% of the time. Believers in the "Loser aura" are also split on whether it is connected to incidents of The Olde One seeming to speak through Loser.

Kennedy Loser/IF-69.726

Captain and Dad

Kennedy Loser co-captains the Baltimore Crabs alongside Forrest Best and Brock Forbes. The general triumverate of co-captaining is that Kennedy and Forrest are the emotional pillars, here to support the team on a personal level, Kennedy and Brock are representative pillars, handling most of the on-paper team management, and Forrest and Brock are the protective pillars, doing the hands-on work against literal hostile forces that threaten the team. Combs Duende was the sole team captain up until their incineration, and Kennedy quickly and sloppily took the role, biting off way more than he could chew. The others stepped up after the Crabs had been spiralling for much of that season.

Kennedy Loser compulsively copes with stress by externalizing his focus to caring for others, especially so now that he holds teamwide responsibilities. He has become "everyone's dad" in a way that is both endearing but also exhausting, but he loves his fellow and former Crabs so much that he couldn't imagine it being any other way for the longest time. Much of his responsibilities as a captain involve micromanaging the Crabs to maximize having all of their needs met and comforts accounted for through a series of complex nested juggling acts. This process became significantly easier and more streamlined once Tillman Henderson was incinerated, to the point where Kennedy felt empty inside, because so much of his daily energy had been dedicated toward herding him around to minimize damage.

After repeatedly getting tageted by blood drain in season 10, both he and the rest of the Crabs realized that he was pushing himself too hard. As the team prepared for ascension, he tried to reconnect with the Crabs in a way that doesn't feel so one-sided, but had a profoundly difficult time not being seen as a surrogate father. This twelveish-person coming of age experience for the other Crabs has been difficult, as all coming of ages are and at any age they may happen, but, nevertheless, there is progress. Since ascension, there have been no reports back from the team, so nobody knows if they're all a little more comfortable with each other yet or not.

Ghosts from the Past

Upon returning to the field after ascension, Loser was hit with a number of difficult events one after another. Losing co-captains Forrest Best and Brock Forbes, as well as Silvaire Roadhouse, the necromancy of York Silk and Chorby Soul, the redaction of Nagomi Mcdaniel and Alyssa Harrell, and the loss of Luis Acevedo all took their toll on the now lone captain. In all of this chaos, Loser was inflicted with another curse, to be haunted by the spirits of the dead. At this point longtime teammate Pedro Davids stepped in to convince Loser to take some time off. Davids took charge of the team alongside some of their new players, leaving Loser time and space to start trying to pick up the pieces.

An unexpected visitor from the hall was the Crab’s first incineration, Nora Perez. Nora had been dead longer than she had ever been alive, and as such she presented an interesting perspective on the whole ordeal. While she and Loser had not been particularly close, she did appreciate getting to stop by and check in. She asked about how Pedro’s research was going, and if York ever managed to take those night classes on marine biology that he was talking about. She told Loser all about her new job in the trench, and how she was keeping an eye on the new arrivals and getting everyone acclimatized. Most importantly though, she seemed happy, competent, and flourishing.

Perez had gotten out of the splort earlier than most and found her own way in the world with no captain, no guidance, and no parental figures in the depths of the trench. Maybe giving the team some space could be good for all of them.

Reading the Cards

While the Expansion Era brought tarot to blaseball with both the earlsiesta readings and The Reader themselves, Loser was reportedly not a huge fan of either. As a practitioner of Tarot himself, he found the actions ascribed to The Reader to be both reductive and misleading. In an interview he admitted that

“Anyone who wants to find a single meaning in the cards is going to find that meaning - its about keeping an open mind and searching for guidance, not taking its word as law”.

When Lorcan Smaaht was targeted to be an undertaker, and many members of the team were targeted for Alternation, Loser’s feelings on the matter only strengthened.

An Alternate: Blocked Caller

In season 22 Baltimore was shaken by the death of their former pitcher Brock Forbes in Boston, one of the most affected by his loss was The Olde One herself. Facing what seemed like an uncertain end, and having lost her last prophet, she made a decision either out of self preservation, a lingering instinct of protection, or just a desperate attempt at control, and reached out to the ones she was closest to in Baltimore.

Kennedy Loser had carcinized decades ago, but found himself changing in a way that he had not experienced since his youth. It was unexpected but did not feel unwelcome as his chiton shifted and his body changed. When he awoke he was different - faster, with a harder carapace, but still shaken from the experience. He knew at once this was a direct interference from the Olde One, but did not take action right away. As the final season of the expansion era came about Loser saw the Kansas City Breath Mints be incinerated, followed by his old friend and teammate Adalberto Tosser. Finally on Day 11(12?) The Crabs played against the Hawai’i Fridays when they were incinerated, losing Sutton Dreamy in the process, and were chained to the instability. While their ash was still warm Loser considered moving to confront the Olde One. With all of that power it was clear to him that she was just as desperate for control as anyone.

It was in this moment more than any other that Loser realized all the ways in which they had always been better than her. She could never imagine a world without herself in it, and a time beyond her, so now she clutches to what she has left. Loser always knew time would outlive him so he simply used that finality to build himself and his loved ones an ending.

An Unlikely Savior

In season 24, Niq Nyong'o was loose in the league, inflicting Observation on players across Mild High, leading to their eventual redaction. On Day 16 Loser found himself in their sights, and was Observed before making it on base, and sure enough, he disappeared into the secret base before anyone knew what was happening. Or at least a part of him was. At the start of the at-bat Loser found himself inhabited by Dimi Blather, a long dead player for the Louisville Lobsters. As a result, Blathers took both the initial Observation and eventual Redaction, while Loser remained safely on the Crabs.

The event was one of many mysteries among fans and for Loser himself. Blather’s part in this was minimal and unknown, and yet many people had questions. Was this an intentional save for a beloved player? An unwilling sacrifice on a poorly timed inhabitation? A clever ploy to be brought back to life? It was impossible to know for sure, and Loser himself dwelled on this thought right up to the end of the season, keeping an eye out for sightings of Blathers, and accepting that in this, like in many things, we may just never know what happened.

Towards the Event Horizon

As the Black Hole opened up and teams were given the ability to steer themselves to their final destination, Kennedy Loser had a choice to make. In his long years as captain, and surviving the first Crab Reckoning as well as Day X, he had many thoughts about what it meant to fight a God. There were sacrifices that would have to be made, and he had made them. In fact several members of the team had. He got together with the longest serving members of the team, Pedro Davids and Finn James, and the three of them had a long, occasionally heated, discussion on what to do. In the end it was decided that they would not put their uninitiated teammates through the same struggles they had faced. They did not need to sacrifice themselves for this case, so they chose not to. James was unhappy with this outcome, Loser was uncharacteristically firm in this decision, not leaving much room for debate, but as the team packed up and headed for the new Horizon they did it together, and awaited the end of the word.

Kennedy Loser/IF-98.479

Early Life

Kennedy Loser was born Loser Kennedy somewhere in Appalachia. He changed his name and fled to Baltimore, Maryland for undisclosed reasons. His childhood closeness to his grandmother, Velma Kennedy, and her strange fixation on prophecy and apocalyptic imagery led to his eventual closeness to the Olde One and his proclivity for tarot.

Kennedy joined the Baltimore Crabs' original lineup upon their incorporation into what would eventually become the Internet League. He became the close friend and confidante of Combs Duende, the former unofficial team captain, and directly served alongside them in the war against the Olde One. Loser's experience in the fight and association with Duende, as well as shared trauma from the tragedy of the situation, shaped Loser into a sort of team "dad" figure, who many of the other Crabs looked up to for guidance. In a 201X interview with Wow! Blaseball, Tillman Henderson stated that he could "just barely stand" Loser, and that this was "more than [he] could say for the rest of those clowns." Players from both the Crabs and other teams considered Loser's townhouse a sort of neutral zone, where anyone who needed a place to stay could do so with no questions asked.

Transfer to the Immaterial Plane

When Blaseball transitioned to fully Immaterial operation and the Internet League began playing, Loser was among the players whose transfer to the new medium was botched, resulting in a distorted version of themselves. Loser became aware of the entire internet at once, as well as the shared experiences of several alternate versions of himself, and many of his strange behaviors and actions can be explained in light of this influx of information and context. Despite only being twenty-nine years old, Loser developed a reputation as a sort of "old guy" due to his typing style and many quirks.

Career in the Internet League

In the 202X Baltimore Area Blaseball Unearthed article "Who's Best?" Loser was mentioned as one of the contenders for the Best Baltimore Batter award, a niche prize awarded by the publication every year. That year's winner was, of course, Forrest Best, as is spoiled by the article title. Loser slowly rose to prominence as one of the more popular mid-tier Idols for fans, especially as a result of the historic Season 5 elections, but ultimately his ability suffered from several ill-timed blooddrains. When asked about how these blooddrains felt, Loser reportedly stated, "Ouch and Owie!!" but insisted that it hadn't been anyone else's fault, and that this was "just how the Game Goes."

Upon learning that players could be resurrected from the dead, Loser made it his personal goal to eventually, at any cost, locate the Hall of Flame and free the players trapped there, especially Combs Duende and Nora Perez.

The death of Combs Duende had been particularly rough on Loser. Though he did not witness their incineration himself - only seeing the aftermath - the fact that Combs reportedly took an incineration meant for him weighs heavily on his conscience. In a 202X interview with Why is this Happening to my Splort, a Blaseball-focused therapeutic publication, Loser stated that the loss of Combs was a "damn Shame" and that he felt like "We should really Do some thing about these Umires"[sic].

Post-Ascension and Siesta

Loser's early thoughts on the Ascension of the Baltimore Crabs are lost to time, as his primary outlet of communication, his Twitter account, was scooped up by Products, Inc. in the chaos of the transfer of ILB ownership to the Boss following the Season 10 election. Eventually, a rogue intern returned the account to Loser, who had also lost his phone during the ascension. Loser reported that he "hate[d] Solid Chunks," the product which had been extensively advertised on his account since the acquisition of his account by Products, Inc., but was unable to figure out how to remove the cute sloth meme the company had pinned to his page to advertise the product.

By his own admission, Loser suffered greatly from the loss of Sutton Dreamy, Nagomi McDaniel, and Montgomery Bullock to the Hawai'i Fridays, but became fast friends with Evelton McBlase II, who Loser mentored and collaborated with in an effort to stop his schemes and machinations from causing any lasting damage.


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