Difference between revisions of "Kansas City Breath Mints"

Revision as of 18:10, 24 August 2020

The Kansas City Breath Mints are a Blaseball team in the Lawful Good division of the Good League. They have been a part of Internet League Blaseball since Season 1.

Roster

Lineup Players

Pitchers

Former Players

Incinerated

N/A

Transferred

PolkaDot Patterson (To the Baltimore Crabs, end of Season 1)
Axel Trololol (To the Chicago Firefighters, end of Season 3)

Season Results

Season 1: Blessing in Disguise

Finishing in third in their division after a valiant effort in the first Blaseball season, the Breath Mints did not foresee how the first round of Blessings would alter their team forever.

Successfully winning the Max Out Pitcher Blessing, they saw one of their two beloved PolkaDots, PolkaDot Patterson, undergo a magical transformation from zero stars to five stars. The team and their fans were overjoyed. But this was not to last. The Baltimore Crabs won the Steal Best Pitcher Blessing, and promptly stole the now-superior PolkaDot, sending in exchange their own zero-star pitcher Winnie Hess.

Now free from the stinky air of the Crabitat, Hess filled their lungs with fresh, fresh air and exhaled, for the first time in over 100 days, fresh breath. The minty aroma of Kansas City revealed Winnie's true potential, transforming them from a zero to a 2.5 star pitcher - the locker-room leader the Mints needed to face season two with renewed vigor.

Season 2: A Regular Old Guy... For Now

In the following Season 2, the Kansas City Breath Mints went 41-58. Following a second season where the Mints placed in the bottom four, fan-organized voting (anecdotally referred to as The Process) supported by a litany of statistical tools and psy-ops strategies begat outcomes that could hardly be better for our fresh players.

First, the Fourth Strike decree passed, granting an arcane rule-change to the hitters of the KCBMs that is sure to bring them straight into the postseason. Then, spirits from the Wind Realm (the Wind Sprints blessing) visited the training camp, and, pleased with what they saw, and always striving to make every plane they visit fresher, bestowed their elemental powers unto the Mints - making their baserunning increase by a whopping 15%.

And finally, Axel Trololol, the Mints' very own regular old guy who loves cars and beers - and who hides a dark prehensile secret - suddenly came one step closer to his dream of himself becoming a car, by having his pitching arm replaced with a Literal Arm Cannon. Pressed for comment, Axel said "Actually my name's Alex".

Season 3

In Season 3, the Mints ended at 49-50. As a result of the end-of-season elections, the Mints gained the blessings The Rack (defensive increase) and Summoning Circle, which randomized the hitting attributes of Rodriguez Internet, Grey Alvarado, and Eduardo Ingram.

More notably, resident 5-star pitcher Axel Trololol was sent to the Chicago Firefighters, where he will fulfill his dream of becoming a fire truck. In exchange, Chicago sent back Atlas Guerra, reuniting them with their sibling Eizabeth Guerra.

Notable Games

Stealing From Thieves (Season 3, Day 57, Game 3) - After reaching a near-hopeless point differential of 10-3 against the Charleston Shoe Thieves, the rogue incineration of Thieve's pitcher Matteo Prestige led to a 2-run home run by Boyfriend Monreal, kicking off a stirring rally from the Mints offense. After sitting at 15-15 at the bottom of the 8th inning, the Mints ended the game, and the day, with a Grand Shame. Final Score: 21-16 Mints.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Team Overview

The Breath Mints' home stadium is an open meadow on the outskirts of town. They formerly played their home games at the Kansas City FreshDome.

Somewhat unusually, the Breath Mints do not have genuine pitchers on their roster. All of their pitchers are actually batters who decided to help out on the mound. The fans think that's just great.

Nicknames

Minties
Minty Fresh
Fresh Death

Theme Song

Fresh by Kool & The Gang

Fan Culture

Know more about the Breath Mints' fan culture? Add it at Kansas City Breath Mints/Fan Culture!

Fans of the Breath Mints - collectively known as the Minty Way - are known for their love of statistical analysis, fanfiction, tolerance, and of star Mints hitter Boyfriend Monreal.

Select Chants

Team-Wide

MIN-TY-FRESH! MIN-TY-FRESH! MIN-TY-FRESH!
FRESH BREATH HERE WE COME / KANSAS CITY NUMBER ONE
We Have Fresh Breath (clap-clap-clapclapclap)

Player-Specific

Eizabeth Guerra takes no L’s! / [enemy team] can go to h*ll!
Boyfriend, Boyfriend, they're our boyfriend! / If they can't do it, they're our boyfriend!
Winnie, you better win! EEEEEEEEEE
Vaughan is on! (Aggressive clattering of teeth)
ROD.NET! HE'S THE INTERNET! (Rodriguez Internet
Axel's a car! Not a man! Axel's a car! Not a man!

Fan Art

Have Breath Mints fan art? Add it at Kansas City Breath Mints/Fan Art!

Logo by Cobaltcakes.

Boyfriend Monreal fan art by @dancienrew
Boyfriend Monreal flashfic by kelpwater
Batter Up With the Breath Mints twine game by kelpwater

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
-{{Team|image1=[[File:mintslogo.png]]|division=Lawful Good|home_town=Kansas City, Missouri/Kansas|team_slogan="Fresh Breath, Here We Come."|emoji=🍬|social_media=[https://twitter.com/kcbreathmints Twitter]|rival=[[Charleston Shoe Thieves]]|mascot=[[Kacey Greens Jr.]]}}The Kansas City Breath Mints are a Blaseball team in the Lawful Good division of the [[Good League]]. They have been a part of the Blaseball League since Season 1. Their home stadium is [[an open meadow on the outskirts of town]].
+{{Team|image1=[[File:mintslogo.png]]|division=Lawful Good|home_town=Kansas City, Missouri/Kansas|team_slogan="Fresh Breath, Here We Come."|emoji=🍬|social_media=[https://twitter.com/kcbreathmints Twitter]|rival=[[Charleston Shoe Thieves]]|mascot=[[Kacey Greens Jr.]]}}The Kansas City Breath Mints are a Blaseball team in the Lawful Good division of the [[Good League]]. They have been a part of [[Internet League Blaseball]] since [[Season 1]].
-Somewhat unusually, the Breath Mints do not have genuine pitchers on their roster. All of their pitchers are actually batters who decided to help out on the mound. The fans think that's just great.
 == Roster ==
@@ Line 37: / Line 36: @@
 ==Season Results==
-In [[Season 2]], the Kansas City Breath Mints went 41-58. As a result of the end-of-season elections, the Mints gained the [[Blessing|blessings]] ''The Fourth Strike'', and ''Wind Sprints'' (baserunning increase). Pitcher [[Axel Trololol]] gained the ''Literal Arm Canon'' blessing.
-In [[Season 3]], the Mints ended at 49-50. As a result of the end-of-season elections, the Mints gained the blessings ''The Rack'' (defensive increase) and ''Summoning Circle'', which randomized the hitting attributes of [[Rodriguez Internet]], [[Grey Alvarado]], and [[Eduardo Ingram]].
+===Season 1: Blessing in Disguise===
+Finishing in third in their division after a valiant effort in the first Blaseball season, the Breath Mints did not foresee how the first round of Blessings would alter their team forever.
+Successfully winning the Max Out Pitcher Blessing, they saw one of their two beloved PolkaDots, [[PolkaDot Patterson]], undergo a magical transformation from zero stars to five stars. The team and their fans were overjoyed. But this was not to last. The [[Baltimore Crabs]] won the Steal Best Pitcher Blessing, and promptly stole the now-superior PolkaDot, sending in exchange their own zero-star pitcher [[Winnie Hess]].
-{{Community Lore}}
+Now free from the stinky air of the [[Crabitat]], Hess filled their lungs with fresh, fresh air and exhaled, for the first time in over 100 days, fresh breath. The minty aroma of Kansas City revealed Winnie's true potential, transforming them from a zero to a 2.5 star pitcher - the locker-room leader the Mints needed to face season two with renewed vigor.
+===Season 2: A Regular Old Guy... For Now===
+In the following [[Season 2]], the Kansas City Breath Mints went 41-58. Following a second season where the Mints placed in the bottom four, fan-organized voting (anecdotally referred to as The Process) supported by a litany of statistical tools and psy-ops strategies begat outcomes that could hardly be better for our fresh players.
-==History==
+First, the Fourth Strike [[decree]] passed, granting an arcane rule-change to the hitters of the KCBMs that is sure to bring them straight into the postseason. Then, spirits from the Wind Realm (the ''Wind Sprints'' [[blessing]]) visited the training camp, and, pleased with what they saw, and always striving to make every plane they visit fresher, bestowed their elemental powers unto the Mints - making their baserunning increase by a whopping 15%.
-===Blessing in Disguise===
+And finally, [[Axel Trololol]], the Mints' very own regular old guy who loves cars and beers - and who hides a dark prehensile secret - suddenly came one step closer to his dream of himself becoming a car, by having his pitching arm replaced with a Literal Arm Cannon. Pressed for comment, Axel said "Actually my name's Alex".
-Finishing in third in their division after a valiant effort in the first Blaseball season, the Breath Mints did not foresee how the first round of Blessings would alter their team forever.
-Successfully winning the Max Out Pitcher Blessing, they saw one of their two beloved PolkaDots, [[PolkaDot Patterson]], undergo a magical transformation from zero stars to five stars. The team and their fans were overjoyed. But this was not to last. The craven [[Baltimore Crabs]] won the Steal Best Pitcher Blessing, and promptly stole the now-superior PolkaDot, sending in exchange their own zero-star pitcher [[Winnie Hess]].
+===Season 3===
-Now free from the stinky air of the Crab's stadium, Winnie Hess filled their lungs with fresh, fresh air and exhaled, for the first time in over 100 days, fresh breath. The minty aroma of Kansas City revealed Winnie's true potential, transforming them from a zero to a 2.5 star pitcher - the locker-room leader the Mints needed to face season two with renewed vigor.
+In [[Season 3]], the Mints ended at 49-50. As a result of the end-of-season elections, the Mints gained the blessings ''The Rack'' (defensive increase) and ''Summoning Circle'', which randomized the hitting attributes of [[Rodriguez Internet]], [[Grey Alvarado]], and [[Eduardo Ingram]].
-===A Regular Old Guy... For Now===
+More notably, resident 5-star pitcher [[Axel Trololol]] was sent to the [[Chicago Firefighters]], where he will fulfill his dream of becoming a fire truck. In exchange, Chicago sent back [[Atlas Guerra]], reuniting them with their sibling [[Eizabeth Guerra]].
-Following a second season where the Mints placed in the bottom four, fan-organized voting (anecdotally referred to as The Process) supported by a litany of statistical tools and psy-ops strategies begat outcomes that could hardly be better for our fresh players.
-First, the Fourth Strike decree passed, granting an arcane rule-change to the hitters of the KCBMs that is sure to bring them straight into the postseason. Then, spirits from the Wind Realm visited the training camp, and, pleased with what they saw, and always striving to make every plane they visit fresher, bestowed their elemental powers unto the Mints - making their baserunning increase by a whopping 15%.
-And finally, [[Axel Trololol]], the Mints' very own regular old guy who loves cars and beers - and who hides a dark prehensile secret - suddenly came one step closer to his dream of himself becoming a car, by having his pitching arm replaced with a Literal Arm Cannon. Pressed for comment, Axel said "Actually my name's Alex".
 ===Notable Games===
@@ Line 68: / Line 64: @@
 <br />
-==Other Information==
-===Theme Song===
+{{Community Lore}}
-[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTJ1XwGDcA4 Fresh by Kool & The Gang]
-===Fans===
-Fans of the Breath Mints - collectively known as the Minty Way - are known for their love of statistical analysis, fanfiction, tolerance, and of star Mints hitter [[Boyfriend Monreal]].
+==Team Overview==
+The Breath Mints' home stadium is [[an open meadow on the outskirts of town]]. They formerly played their home games at the [[Kansas City FreshDome]].
+Somewhat unusually, the Breath Mints do not have genuine pitchers on their roster. All of their pitchers are actually batters who decided to help out on the mound. The fans think that's just great.
 ===Nicknames===
@@ Line 81: / Line 80: @@
 *Fresh Death
-===Chants===
+===Theme Song===
+[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTJ1XwGDcA4 Fresh by Kool & The Gang]
-*That's Our Boy-Friend! (clap-clap-clapclapclap)
+==Fan Culture==
+<small>Know more about the Breath Mints' fan culture? Add it at [[Kansas City Breath Mints/Fan Culture]]!</small>
+Fans of the Breath Mints - collectively known as the Minty Way - are known for their love of statistical analysis, fanfiction, tolerance, and of star Mints hitter [[Boyfriend Monreal]].
+===Select Chants===
+====Team-Wide====
 *MIN-TY-FRESH! MIN-TY-FRESH! MIN-TY-FRESH!
+*FRESH BREATH HERE WE COME / KANSAS CITY NUMBER ONE
 *We Have Fresh Breath (clap-clap-clapclapclap)
-*Eizabeth Guerra takes no L’s! / [enemy team] can go to h*ll!
-*FRESH BREATH HERE WE COME / KANSAS CITY NUMBER ONE
-*Boyfriend, Boyfriend, they're our boyfriend! / If they can't do it, they're our boyfriend!
-*Winnie, you better win! EEEEEEEEEE
-*Vaughan is on! (Aggressive clattering of teeth)
-*ROD.NET! HE'S THE INTERNET!
-* Axel's a car! Not a man! Axel's a car! Not a man!
-* OUR BOYFRIENDS BACK! OUR BOYFRIENDS BACK!
+====Player-Specific====
+*[[Eizabeth Guerra]] takes no L’s! / [enemy team] can go to h*ll!
+*[[Boyfriend Monreal|Boyfriend]], Boyfriend, they're our boyfriend! / If they can't do it, they're our boyfriend!
+*[[Winnie Hess|Winnie]], you better win! EEEEEEEEEE
+*[[Oscar Vaughan|Vaughan]] is on! (Aggressive clattering of teeth)
+*ROD.NET! HE'S THE INTERNET! ([[Rodriguez Internet]]
+* [[Axel Trololol|Axel]]'s a car! Not a man! Axel's a car! Not a man!
 ==Fan Art==
+<small>Have Breath Mints fan art? Add it at [[Kansas City Breath Mints/Fan Art]]!</small>
 [[File:BreathMintsLogo Cobaltcakes.png|none|thumb|304x304px|Logo by [https://twitter.com/4damAvenue Cobaltcakes].]]<br />

Kansas City Breath Mints 🍬
Players	Batters	Stretch Sutton Ji-Eun Jasper Ayanna Dumpington Brooklyn Nottingham Tiara Xidoufen Vernon Glump Cote Rodgers Lorcan Smaht Noah Gordon
	Pitchers	Hops Chen Plums Blather Hatfield Suzuki Conrad Twelve Reese Harrington
	Shadows	Mindy Kugel
	Buried	August Sky
	Former	NaN (➡️) Bright Zimmerman (➡️) Hops Chen (➡️) Jon Halifax (🔥) Helga Washington (🔥) · Full List
Stats	Season	1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13 · 14 · 15 · 16 · 17 · 18 · 19 · 20 · 21 · 22 · 23 · 24 · Full List
Stats	Circuit	Gamma 2 · Gamma 3 · Gamma 4
Ballpark	Kansas City FreshDome
Community Lore
Staff	Max Betmint · The Spearmint · Dr. Reverbo · Kacey Greens Jr.
History	Kansas City Breath Mints' History
Fan Culture 📣 · Fan Works 💌 · Tlopps Cards 🃏
"Fresh Breath, Here We Come."

⚾ Internet League Blaseball Teams ⚾
Chaotic Evil	Hawai'i Fridays 🏝️ · Mexico City Wild Wings 🍗 · Seattle Garages 🎸 · Yellowstone Magic ✨ · Ohio Worms 🐌 · Tokyo Lift 🏋️‍
Awful Evil	Atlantis Georgias 🔱 · Breckenridge Jazz Hands 👐 · Chicago Firefighters 🔥 · Core Mechanics 🛠️ · Dallas Steaks 🥩 · Houston Spies 🕵️
Chaotic Good	Boston Flowers 🌹 · Canada Moist Talkers 🗣️ · Kansas City Breath Mints 🍬 · LA Unlimited Tacos 🌮 · New York Millennials 📱 · San Francisco Lovers 💋
Awful Good	Baltimore Crabs 🦀 · Charleston Shoe Thieves 👟 · Hades Tigers 🐅 · Hellmouth Sunbeams 🌞 · Miami Dale 🚤 · Philly Pies 🥧