Boyfriend Monreal

From Blaseball Wiki

Boyfriend Monreal was a lineup player for the Kansas City Breath Mints, and was with the team from Season β1 until being incinerated on Season β7, Day 96.

Official League Record

Monreal joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Kansas City Breath Mints with the Return of Blaseball.

On Season β7, Day 20, some of Monreal's baserunning ability was siphoned by Hawai'i Fridays lineup player Elijah Valenzuela in a game with Blooddrain weather.

On Season β7, Day 96, Monreal was incinerated and replaced by Pudge Nakamoto.

During the events of Season β10, Day X, Monreal was raised to join The Hall Stars. Following The Hall Stars' victory over THE SHELLED ONE'S PODS, Monreal was Released from Internet League Blaseball.

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.


They're our Boyfriend.

Boyfriend Monreal was a beloved omnisexual batter for the Kansas City Breath Mints. They were known for their many eyes, their impossible charm, and their wizened knowledge in the ways of love.

Monreal began dating the Kansas City FreshDome during Season 1. After their acrimonious postseason break-up, the Mints decided it was in everyone's best interest to relocate the team to an open meadow on the outskirts of town. Monreal and the Dome then became closer friends than they were before.

It is rumored that following this breakup and subsequent friendship, Boyfriend began seeing Ren Hunter, a batter for the New York Millennials, and former batter for the Charleston Shoe Thieves. These rumors were at first surprising, given the Breath Mints' one sided rivalry with the Shoe Thieves, but the fans soon realized that Boyfriend having a healthy romantic life far out-weighed any such grudges. Upon asking to confirm these rumors, Boyfriend simply exclaimed that "Ren makes me feel like my skin is bursting with thousands of eyes. Also, she's got a pretty nice ass."

Boyfriend was also engaged in a profound emotional relationship with every fan of the Breath Mints who wished to be in a relationship with them. They were, collectively, Our Boyfriend.

Boyfriend performed best at the bottom of the [1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, and 9th] inning. They were known for being exceptional at blaserunning, and for looking damn good when they did it.


On Season 7, Day 96, Boyfriend Monreal was incinerated by a Rogue Umpire after being hit by a ball from Jaylen Hotdogfingers in Game 95, which made them Unstable. They are said to have jumped in front of teammate Lenny Spruce to protect him from the Umpire's wrath. They were replaced by Pudge Nakamoto, who is often described as "friend-shaped." There are rumors that Boyfriend sent Pudge to look after the team, to provide them with the comfort they all needed.

The Boyfriend Monreal Memorial Butterfly Gardens was added to the open meadow on the outskirts of town, in the spot where Boyfriend would often go for batting practice.

Unsubstantiated Rumors

  • Boyfriend Monreal shared flirtatious looks with recently resurrected Garages player, Jaylen Hotdogfingers.
  • Boyfriend is an honorific title granted to one person a generation. Should Boyfriend Monreal die, a new person will immediately be born with the Boyfriend title, thus ensuring balance between the four splorts of blaseball, hlockey, flootball and glolf.
  • Boyfriend (or "Boyf") had the ability to banish evildoers and arch-criminals to the friend zone, but it is unknown if this unholy power has ever been seen or used.
  • Boyfriend was the target of an incineration, but Eduardo leaped in front of Boyfriend at the last second. Upon their own incineration, they paid this deed forward, protecting Lenny.
  • There were unsubstantiated rumors rising that Boyfriend Monreal was a cat boy. The Kansas City Breath Mints, in a public statement, assured the public that this is being looked into.
  • Boyfriend was known for their affinity to draw walks from pitchers, a phenomenon frequently rumored to be due to their charm and flirtatious Vibes(tm) distracting the pitcher. When asked about this, Boyfriend simply responded. "I love going on walks. Who doesn't?"
  • In a soon to be released zine,[citation needed] Boyfriend is depicted dating the ocean. Whether they are still together is unknown.


  • Boyfriend, Boyfriend, they're our boyfriend! / If they can't do it, they're our boyfriend!
  • Hey-la, Hey-la, our Boyfriend’s back!
  • Boyf on base! (when about to steal)

Fan Works

Text Works