Difference between revisions of "Kaj Statter Jr."
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<!-- Use the filename with the file type, but without the File: or Image: prefix--> | <!-- Use the filename with the file type, but without the File: or Image: prefix--> | ||
| − | | image1=Statter up babey.gif | + | | image1= Statter up babey.gif |
<!-- Photo credit --> | <!-- Photo credit --> | ||
| − | | caption1= Statter up by @realdiscordbot | + | | caption1= Statter up by '''@realdiscordbot''' |
<!-- Records: Basic information --> | <!-- Records: Basic information --> | ||
| aliases= <!-- IN GAME NAMES ONLY --> | | aliases= <!-- IN GAME NAMES ONLY --> | ||
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| horosclope= Solar Catachresis | | horosclope= Solar Catachresis | ||
| pronouns= Xe/xem, Sea/shore/seas | | pronouns= Xe/xem, Sea/shore/seas | ||
| − | | species= Unknown ( | + | | species= Unknown (Probably human. Mostly.) |
| uuid= 72ca8ed5-a8c7-4571-9745-80de5a49b2d1 | | uuid= 72ca8ed5-a8c7-4571-9745-80de5a49b2d1 | ||
| language(s)= English, Te Reo Māori, Arabic, unknown others | | language(s)= English, Te Reo Māori, Arabic, unknown others | ||
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==History== | ==History== | ||
| − | Much of Statter Jr. | + | Much of Statter Jr.'s history is currently unknown, although {{RandomPronoun|lower|subject|claims|claims|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} to have experience with a wide variety of careers, many more than could fit into a normal human lifespan. {{RandomPronoun|upper|subject|has|has|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} stated that {{RandomPronoun|lower|possessive|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} family is very expansive, with generations of Statters living across the globe, yet still remains 'tight-knit'. Though the specifics of Statter Jr.'s family tree are unknown, {{RandomPronoun|lower|subject|has|has|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} Indian heritage on {{RandomPronoun|lower|possessive|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} father's side and Māori heritage on {{RandomPronoun|lower|possessive|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} mother's side, and is happy to share {{RandomPronoun|lower|possessive|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} whakapapa with those who ask. A variety of people have been observed cheering {{RandomPronoun|lower|object|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} on at {{RandomPronoun|lower|possessive|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} games. Despite the uncertainty about some aspects of {{RandomPronoun|lower|possessive|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} family, everyone queried about Statter Jr. has agreed that {{RandomPronoun|lower|subject|has|has|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} 'strong youngest sibling energy'. Statter Jr. often discusses {{RandomPronoun|lower|possessive|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} father's family's many long-standing traditions, such as 'consuming carbon dioxide and producing oxygen', and 'sea shanties'. |
==Career with the Sunbeams== | ==Career with the Sunbeams== | ||
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*The Jr. stands for <choose uncached=""> | *The Jr. stands for <choose uncached=""> | ||
| − | <option>Joctor. It refers to Statter Jr. | + | <option>Joctor. It refers to Statter Jr.'s Joctorate in Physical Jherapy.</option> |
| − | <option>Statter Jr. | + | <option>Statter Jr.'s favourite excel column.</option> |
<option>Jaguar.</option> | <option>Jaguar.</option> | ||
<option>Jormungandr. At least once, Statter Jr. has stated that the Jr. In {{RandomPronoun|lower|possessive|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} name stands for [[Wikipedia:Jörmungandr|Jörmungandr]], the world-serpent of norse myth. It is said that when Jörmungandr ascends from the depths it shall signal the final battle of [[Wikipedia:Ragnarök|Ragnarök]]. It is also said that this will release [[Wikipedia:Naglfar|Naglfar]], the boat made of the fingernails of the dead, from its moorings to carry the armies of the damned into the final battle. When later questioned about this {{RandomPronoun|lower|subject|claimed|claimed|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} to not understand the interviewer, know what Jörmungandr meant, or accept any connection between this and the ship made of bone and crewed by the dead, which {{RandomPronoun|lower|subject|is|is|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} often seen sailing around the [[Hellmouth (entity)|Hellmouth]].</option> | <option>Jormungandr. At least once, Statter Jr. has stated that the Jr. In {{RandomPronoun|lower|possessive|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} name stands for [[Wikipedia:Jörmungandr|Jörmungandr]], the world-serpent of norse myth. It is said that when Jörmungandr ascends from the depths it shall signal the final battle of [[Wikipedia:Ragnarök|Ragnarök]]. It is also said that this will release [[Wikipedia:Naglfar|Naglfar]], the boat made of the fingernails of the dead, from its moorings to carry the armies of the damned into the final battle. When later questioned about this {{RandomPronoun|lower|subject|claimed|claimed|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} to not understand the interviewer, know what Jörmungandr meant, or accept any connection between this and the ship made of bone and crewed by the dead, which {{RandomPronoun|lower|subject|is|is|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} often seen sailing around the [[Hellmouth (entity)|Hellmouth]].</option> | ||
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<option>nothing, {{RandomPronoun|lower|subject|just|just|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} thought it sounded cool.</option> | <option>nothing, {{RandomPronoun|lower|subject|just|just|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} thought it sounded cool.</option> | ||
<option>Jrunior. That’s just a part of {{RandomPronoun|lower|possessive|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} name. A last last name. The last of all last names. The ultimate name. Simple.</option> | <option>Jrunior. That’s just a part of {{RandomPronoun|lower|possessive|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} name. A last last name. The last of all last names. The ultimate name. Simple.</option> | ||
| − | <option>The letters they’ve stolen from other people’s names. According to Statter Jr., | + | <option>The letters they’ve stolen from other people’s names. According to Statter Jr., "there's a _ordan and a Spence_ wandering around real mad at me right now."</option> |
<option>Truth, Justice, and Freedom for all.</option> | <option>Truth, Justice, and Freedom for all.</option> | ||
<option>Jerfolk.</option> | <option>Jerfolk.</option> | ||
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</choose> | </choose> | ||
*Statter Jr. has a large collection of chewable jewellery. | *Statter Jr. has a large collection of chewable jewellery. | ||
| − | *When interviewers asked Statter Jr. how {{RandomPronoun|lower|subject|was|was|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} able to get | + | *When interviewers asked Statter Jr. how {{RandomPronoun|lower|subject|was|was|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} able to get Cashmoney's ships to move through sand, Statter Jr. was confused "What do you mean? Have you never tried to drive a boat through the desert?" Leading to the invention of the now popular 'sand sailing' as both a recreational activity and [[Hellmouth (town)|Hellmouth]]’s primary form of transportation. |
*The original boat used by Statter Jr. to crash into [[The Pocket]] was composed entirely of bone Statter Jr. obtained {{RandomPronoun|lower|reflexive|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}}, via means unknown. | *The original boat used by Statter Jr. to crash into [[The Pocket]] was composed entirely of bone Statter Jr. obtained {{RandomPronoun|lower|reflexive|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}}, via means unknown. | ||
| − | *Statter Jr. is also known as Kaj | + | *Statter Jr. is also known as Kaj "<choose uncached=""> |
| − | <option>You’re going to tell me that | + | <option>You’re going to tell me that I'm WRONG</option> |
<option>She came down in a bubble Doug</option> | <option>She came down in a bubble Doug</option> | ||
<option>figuratively and literally owns bones</option> | <option>figuratively and literally owns bones</option> | ||
| Line 120: | Line 120: | ||
<option>Magpie</option> | <option>Magpie</option> | ||
<option>Cause Problems on Purpose</option> | <option>Cause Problems on Purpose</option> | ||
| − | <option>Why did they call it | + | <option>Why did they call it 'stealing bases' if they didn't want me to keep them</option> |
<option>Sunscreen is a con by Big Sun</option> | <option>Sunscreen is a con by Big Sun</option> | ||
<option>Only oil tycoons use half-and-half in their cereal</option> | <option>Only oil tycoons use half-and-half in their cereal</option> | ||
| Line 127: | Line 127: | ||
<option>Boat whisperer</option> | <option>Boat whisperer</option> | ||
<option>It has been _ days since Kaj last stole the numbers off this sign</option> | <option>It has been _ days since Kaj last stole the numbers off this sign</option> | ||
| − | <option>Party | + | <option>Party Rockin'</option> |
| − | <option> | + | <option>It's party rock is</option> |
<option>Wicked Witch of the East, Bro</option> | <option>Wicked Witch of the East, Bro</option> | ||
<option>Everyone follows the account for me anyway, max</option> | <option>Everyone follows the account for me anyway, max</option> | ||
| Line 147: | Line 147: | ||
<option>Solve Problems on Accident</option> | <option>Solve Problems on Accident</option> | ||
<option>Your mail? More like our mail</option> | <option>Your mail? More like our mail</option> | ||
| − | <option> | + | <option>I've arrived, now your goose is cooked! Wait, oh gods-- oh no</option> |
<option>Discourse</option> | <option>Discourse</option> | ||
<option>Pineapple pizza is good, actually</option> | <option>Pineapple pizza is good, actually</option> | ||
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<option>Dab on the haters</option> | <option>Dab on the haters</option> | ||
<option>Dance Dance Revolution God</option> | <option>Dance Dance Revolution God</option> | ||
| − | <option>Best | + | <option>Best 'Beam Evah!</option> |
<option>100 gecs is unironically good, guys</option> | <option>100 gecs is unironically good, guys</option> | ||
| − | <option>Okay I lied sand is real but | + | <option>Okay I lied sand is real but it's just dry water.</option> |
<option>What do you mean I can’t use a boat on land?</option> | <option>What do you mean I can’t use a boat on land?</option> | ||
<option>Ask me about bones!</option> | <option>Ask me about bones!</option> | ||
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<option>Anyone remember where I parked my galleon?</option> | <option>Anyone remember where I parked my galleon?</option> | ||
<option>One time I ate sand, it tasted like sand</option> | <option>One time I ate sand, it tasted like sand</option> | ||
| − | </choose> | + | </choose>" Statter Jr. |
*Statter Jr. is responsible for a new pre-game ritual for the Sunbeams lineup. Before each game, {{RandomPronoun|lower|subject|will|will|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} flip a semi-full bottle of water. If it lands on its base, it is considered good luck for the game ahead. If the bottle falls over, the batters will resign themselves to a bad game. | *Statter Jr. is responsible for a new pre-game ritual for the Sunbeams lineup. Before each game, {{RandomPronoun|lower|subject|will|will|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} flip a semi-full bottle of water. If it lands on its base, it is considered good luck for the game ahead. If the bottle falls over, the batters will resign themselves to a bad game. | ||
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File:New kids at the cat cafe.png|Statter Jr. and Wright at the [[Randall Marijuana's Cat/Randy's Cat Cáfe|Randall Marijuana Memorial Cat Cáfe]] by [https://twitter.com/poltergeisz '''Saffron'''] | File:New kids at the cat cafe.png|Statter Jr. and Wright at the [[Randall Marijuana's Cat/Randy's Cat Cáfe|Randall Marijuana Memorial Cat Cáfe]] by [https://twitter.com/poltergeisz '''Saffron'''] | ||
File:Post party pirate.jpg|by [https://twitter.com/revivificating/status/1394469302082867201 '''Ash'''] | File:Post party pirate.jpg|by [https://twitter.com/revivificating/status/1394469302082867201 '''Ash'''] | ||
| − | File:Kaj Statter Jr. and Bennett Bluesky buzzard.png|alt=A fullcolor digital drawing of Statter and Bluesky. Kaj is a fat buff black person with an eyepatch, short seaweed hair, and glasses. Sea is wearing a black and red pirate overcoat, a crop top, jean short shorts, and mid-length sand and green boots. Sea is crossing shore arms with feet planted in a confident stance as sea looks toward one side and smiles. Bennett is a slim East Asian trans man with blue wings and shoulder-length dyed pink hair slicked back behind a pair of headphones. He is wearing a bomber with several patches including a trans flag, a park ranger badge, and his teams, and he looks to the side with a close-lipped rueful smile.|Statter Jr. and [[Bennett Bluesky]]. Art by | + | File:Kaj Statter Jr. and Bennett Bluesky buzzard.png|alt=A fullcolor digital drawing of Statter and Bluesky. Kaj is a fat buff black person with an eyepatch, short seaweed hair, and glasses. Sea is wearing a black and red pirate overcoat, a crop top, jean short shorts, and mid-length sand and green boots. Sea is crossing shore arms with feet planted in a confident stance as sea looks toward one side and smiles. Bennett is a slim East Asian trans man with blue wings and shoulder-length dyed pink hair slicked back behind a pair of headphones. He is wearing a bomber with several patches including a trans flag, a park ranger badge, and his teams, and he looks to the side with a close-lipped rueful smile.|Statter Jr. and [[Bennett Bluesky]]. Art by [https://twitter.com/saltbuzzard '''@saltbuzzard'''] as part of the Sunbeams Summer Solstice Art Exchange. |
File:Skate Rink buzzard.png|alt=A digital sketch of Bluesky and Statter sitting at a table in a skate rink. Bluesky is an east asian trans man with wings and long pink hair, and Statter Jr. is a fat black person with an eyepatch and short seaweed hair. Bluesky is putting on one roller skate as he gestures and smiles at Kaj, as if telling a story. Kaj is reclining in a cropped binder and jean shorts with roller blades on shore feet. Sea responds to Bluesky with a large smile.|Statter Jr. and [[Bennett Bluesky]] enjoying a day at the skate rink. Art by [https://twitter.com/saltbuzzard '''@saltbuzzard'''] as part of the Sunbeams Summer Solstice Art Exchange | File:Skate Rink buzzard.png|alt=A digital sketch of Bluesky and Statter sitting at a table in a skate rink. Bluesky is an east asian trans man with wings and long pink hair, and Statter Jr. is a fat black person with an eyepatch and short seaweed hair. Bluesky is putting on one roller skate as he gestures and smiles at Kaj, as if telling a story. Kaj is reclining in a cropped binder and jean shorts with roller blades on shore feet. Sea responds to Bluesky with a large smile.|Statter Jr. and [[Bennett Bluesky]] enjoying a day at the skate rink. Art by [https://twitter.com/saltbuzzard '''@saltbuzzard'''] as part of the Sunbeams Summer Solstice Art Exchange | ||
File:Got Mail?.jpg|Tlopps card by [https://twitter.com/sapphriarocks '''Olive'''] | File:Got Mail?.jpg|Tlopps card by [https://twitter.com/sapphriarocks '''Olive'''] | ||
Revision as of 01:05, 24 March 2022
Kaj Statter Jr. is a player in the Shadows for the Hellmouth Sunbeams, and has been with the team since Season 13, Day 98.
Official League Records
Statter Jr. joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Hellmouth Sunbeams on Season 13, Day 98 after the incineration of Sutton Bishop.
In Statter's first full game, Season 13, Day 99, they partied, stole home, and used Base Instincts to walk to second. During the Season 13 elections the Sunbeams benefited from all four "Bubble" blessings, which increased Statter's batting, baserunning, and defense by 4%. Statter Jr. also gained the Smooth modification as a result of the Peanut Butter blessing.
During the Season 15 elections, Statter's baserunning was boosted 1.9 → 2 as a result of the Running Practice blessing.
During the Season 18 elections, Statter Jr. retreated to the Shadows in exchange for Phineas Wormthrice as a result of the Sunbeams' Foreshadow will, resulting in a combined 8.6 → 9.4 stat increase.
COMMUNITY REPORTSThe remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
History
Much of Statter Jr.'s history is currently unknown, although sea claims to have experience with a wide variety of careers, many more than could fit into a normal human lifespan. Xe has stated that seas family is very expansive, with generations of Statters living across the globe, yet still remains 'tight-knit'. Though the specifics of Statter Jr.'s family tree are unknown, xe has Indian heritage on seas father's side and Māori heritage on xir mother's side, and is happy to share seas whakapapa with those who ask. A variety of people have been observed cheering xem on at seas games. Despite the uncertainty about some aspects of xir family, everyone queried about Statter Jr. has agreed that sea has 'strong youngest sibling energy'. Statter Jr. often discusses xir father's family's many long-standing traditions, such as 'consuming carbon dioxide and producing oxygen', and 'sea shanties'.
Career with the Sunbeams
After the incineration of Sutton Bishop, Statter Jr. was enlisted to deliver a letter from the town of Bishop Sutton to the Sunbeams. Upon arrival at The Pocket on Season 13, Day 99, Statter Jr. made seas delivery and promptly joined on as the newest member of the Sunbeams lineup. Xe made a powerful first impression in seas first game by careening through the far wall of The Pocket, partying, stealing home, and walking to second.
Statter Jr. quickly settled into life with the Sunbeams, taking advantage of the many ships left lying around by Aldon Cashmoney, sailing them across the desert and using them in xir new Hellmouth mail delivery service. Sea became famous for stopping any mail deliveries at the border of the Hellmouth, stealing them, and delivering them, in order to avoid the delivery person having to enter Hellmouth. This has made xem a favourite of the Hellmouth Anti-Tourism Board. Statter Jr. also took up studying bonecourse at the Hellmouth Community College, indulging a lifelong fascination with discourses. Sea also maintains a busy calendar of social events, with xir boat parties being famous throughout Hellmouth and the league.
Initially, sea had many bouts of dehydration during games at The Solarium. Fellow players carried misters to keep Statter Jr. in the game. Recently, Statter Jr. has been seen with a localised raincloud over xir head, periodically misting shore without input. This is theorised to be xir Adaptation.
Trivia
- The Jr. stands for Journalist-at-arms.
- Statter Jr. has a large collection of chewable jewellery.
- When interviewers asked Statter Jr. how sea was able to get Cashmoney's ships to move through sand, Statter Jr. was confused "What do you mean? Have you never tried to drive a boat through the desert?" Leading to the invention of the now popular 'sand sailing' as both a recreational activity and Hellmouth’s primary form of transportation.
- The original boat used by Statter Jr. to crash into The Pocket was composed entirely of bone Statter Jr. obtained xemself, via means unknown.
- Statter Jr. is also known as Kaj "Your mail? More like our mail" Statter Jr.
- Statter Jr. is responsible for a new pre-game ritual for the Sunbeams lineup. Before each game, sea will flip a semi-full bottle of water. If it lands on its base, it is considered good luck for the game ahead. If the bottle falls over, the batters will resign themselves to a bad game.
Fan Works
Fanfiction
For more fanfiction see the 'Kaj Statter Junior' tag on AO3
- Flames to Sun to Shadows by Olive - a retrospective of Kaj's career with the Sunbeams, up until xir shadowing.
Videos
Statter Jr. by @marcheriest
Statter up by @realdiscordbot
Statter Jr. by @wadecharade
Statter Jr. design by Olive
by @_iznj
by Ash
by @_pysics
Statter Jr. with fellow rookie Jayden Wright by @_iznj
by @allyr_
by @pitayapandi
by Ash
Statter Jr. and Wright at the Randall Marijuana Memorial Cat Cáfe by Saffron
by Ash
Statter Jr. and Bennett Bluesky. Art by @saltbuzzard as part of the Sunbeams Summer Solstice Art Exchange.
Statter Jr. and Bennett Bluesky enjoying a day at the skate rink. Art by @saltbuzzard as part of the Sunbeams Summer Solstice Art Exchange
Tlopps card by Olive
by Saffron
by @Waggisbag1
Statter Jr. and Jayden Wright
by Olive
by Saffron
Mini-Blaseballer
by @HetreaSky
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s_Undertale.jpg)
| Players | Batters | |
|---|---|---|
| Pitchers | ||
| Shadows |
|
|
| Buried | Boudicca Midcentury · Doc Anice | |
| Former |
|
|
| Stats | Season | 1 |
| Beta | β1 · β2 · β3 · β4 · β5 · β6 · β7 · β8 · β9 · β10 · β11 · β12 · β13 · β14 · β15 · β16 · β17 · β18 · β19 · β20 · β21 · β22 · β23 · β24 | |
| Circuit | Gamma 2 · Gamma 3 · Gamma 4 | |
| Ballpark | Lower Moab Scenic Overlook Field | |
| Community Lore | ||
| Staff | Sol · Monsieur Beam · JEFF! · Dead Tom · The Man Who Owns All the Teeth · Priya Fox · Determination Montgomery | |
| Places | Hellmouth · Hellmouth Anti-Tourism Board · Shadow Moabbey · Randall Marijuana Memorial Cat Café · Arches National Plark | |
| History | Moab Hellmouth Sunbeams' History · The Solympic Flame · Adaptation · HELIOLATRY · Cuisine of Hellmouth | |
| Fan Culture 📣 · Fan Works 💌 · Tlopps Cards 🃏 | ||
| Stare Into the Sun... | ||
