Difference between revisions of "Kaj Statter Jr."

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(added reference to māori heritage)
m (lotsa small tings but mostly fixin the pronoun randomizer)
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==History==
 
==History==
Much of Statter Jr.’s history is currently unknown, although {{RandomPronoun|lower|subject|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}}claims to have experience with a wide variety of careers, many more than could fit into a normal human lifespan. {{RandomPronoun|upper|subject|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}}has stated that {{RandomPronoun|lower|possessive|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} family is very expansive, with generations of Statters living across the globe, yet still remains ‘tight-knit’. It is known that Statter Jr. has Māori heritage on {{RandomPronoun|lower|possessive|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} mother's side, but the rest of {{RandomPronoun|lower|possessive|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} family remains a mystery. Statter Jr. is happy to share {{RandomPronoun|lower|possessive|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} whakapapa with those who ask. A variety of people have been observed cheering {{RandomPronoun|lower|object|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} on at {{RandomPronoun|lower|possessive|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} games. Despite the uncertainty about some aspects of {{RandomPronoun|lower|possessive|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} family, everyone queried about Statter Jr. has agreed that {{RandomPronoun|lower|subject|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}}has ‘strong youngest sibling energy’. Statter Jr. often discusses {{RandomPronoun|lower|possessive|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} father’s family's many long-standing traditions, such as ‘consuming carbon dioxide and producing oxygen’, and ‘sea shanties’.
+
Much of Statter Jr.’s history is currently unknown, although {{RandomPronoun|lower|subject|claims|claims|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} to have experience with a wide variety of careers, many more than could fit into a normal human lifespan. {{RandomPronoun|upper|subject|has|has|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} stated that {{RandomPronoun|lower|possessive|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} family is very expansive, with generations of Statters living across the globe, yet still remains ‘tight-knit’. It is known that Statter Jr. has Māori heritage on {{RandomPronoun|lower|possessive|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} mother's side, but the rest of {{RandomPronoun|lower|possessive|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} family remains a mystery. Statter Jr. is happy to share {{RandomPronoun|lower|possessive|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} whakapapa with those who ask. A variety of people have been observed cheering {{RandomPronoun|lower|object|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} on at {{RandomPronoun|lower|possessive|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} games. Despite the uncertainty about some aspects of {{RandomPronoun|lower|possessive|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} family, everyone queried about Statter Jr. has agreed that {{RandomPronoun|lower|subject|has|has|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} ‘strong youngest sibling energy’. Statter Jr. often discusses {{RandomPronoun|lower|possessive|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} father’s family's many long-standing traditions, such as ‘consuming carbon dioxide and producing oxygen’, and ‘sea shanties’.
  
 
==Career with the Sunbeams==
 
==Career with the Sunbeams==
  
After the incineration of [[Sutton Bishop]], Statter Jr. was enlisted to deliver a letter from the town of [[Sutton Bishop#History|Bishop Sutton]] to the Sunbeams. Upon arrival at the [[Pocket]] on [[Season 13]], Day 99, Statter Jr. made seas delivery and promptly joined on as the newest member of the Sunbeams lineup. Sea made a powerful first impression in seas first game by careening through the far wall of the Pocket, partying, stealing home, and walking to second.  
+
After the incineration of [[Sutton Bishop]], Statter Jr. was enlisted to deliver a letter from the town of [[Sutton Bishop#History|Bishop Sutton]] to the Sunbeams. Upon arrival at [[The Pocket]] on [[Season 13]], Day 99, Statter Jr. made {{RandomPronoun|lower|possessive|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} delivery and promptly joined on as the newest member of the Sunbeams lineup. {{RandomPronoun|upper|subject|made|made|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} a powerful first impression in {{RandomPronoun|lower|possessive|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} first game by careening through the far wall of The Pocket, partying, stealing home, and walking to second.  
  
Statter Jr. quickly settled into life with the Sunbeams, taking advantage of the many ships left lying around by [[Aldon Cashmoney]], sailing them across the desert and using them in {{RandomPronoun|lower|possessive|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} new Hellmouth mail delivery service. {{RandomPronoun|upper|subject|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}}became famous for stopping any mail deliveries at the border of Hellmouth, stealing them, and delivering them, in order to avoid the delivery person having to enter Hellmouth. This has made {{RandomPronoun|lower|object|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} a favourite of the [[Hellmouth Anti-Tourism Board]]. Statter Jr. also took up studying bonecourse at the Hellmouth Community College, indulging a lifelong fascination with discourses. {{RandomPronoun|upper|subject|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}}also maintains a busy calendar of social events, with {{RandomPronoun|lower|possessive|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} boat parties being famous throughout Hellmouth and the league.
+
Statter Jr. quickly settled into life with the Sunbeams, taking advantage of the many ships left lying around by [[Aldon Cashmoney]], sailing them across the desert and using them in {{RandomPronoun|lower|possessive|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} new [[Hellmouth (town)|Hellmouth]] mail delivery service. {{RandomPronoun|upper|subject|became|became|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} famous for stopping any mail deliveries at the border of the Hellmouth, stealing them, and delivering them, in order to avoid the delivery person having to enter Hellmouth. This has made {{RandomPronoun|lower|object|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} a favourite of the [[Hellmouth Anti-Tourism Board]]. Statter Jr. also took up studying bonecourse at the [[Hellmouth Community College]], indulging a lifelong fascination with discourses. {{RandomPronoun|upper|subject|also maintains|also maintains|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} a busy calendar of social events, with {{RandomPronoun|lower|possessive|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} boat parties being famous throughout Hellmouth and the league.
  
Initially, {{RandomPronoun|lower|subject|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}}had many bouts of dehydration during games at the [[Solarium]]. Fellow players carried misters to keep Statter Jr. in the game. Recently, Statter Jr. has been seen with a localised raincloud over {{RandomPronoun|lower|possessive|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} head, periodically misting {{RandomPronoun|lower|object|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} without input. This is theorised to be seas adaptation.  
+
Initially, {{RandomPronoun|lower|subject|had|had|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} many bouts of dehydration during games at [[The Solarium]]. Fellow players carried misters to keep Statter Jr. in the game. Recently, Statter Jr. has been seen with a localised raincloud over {{RandomPronoun|lower|possessive|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} head, periodically misting {{RandomPronoun|lower|object|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} without input. This is theorised to be {{RandomPronoun|lower|possessive|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} [[Adaptation]].  
  
 
==Trivia==
 
==Trivia==
  
*The Jr stands for <choose uncached="">
+
*The Jr. stands for <choose uncached="">
<option>Joctor. It refers to Statter’s Joctorate in Physical Jherapy</option>
+
<option>Joctor. It refers to Statter Jr.’s Joctorate in Physical Jherapy.</option>
<option>Statter’s favourite excel column</option>
+
<option>Statter Jr.’s favourite excel column.</option>
<option>Jaguar</option>
+
<option>Jaguar.</option>
<option>Jormungandr. At least once, Statter Jr. has stated that the Jr. In seas name stands for Jormungandr, the world-serpent of norse myth. It is said that when Jormungandr ascends from the depths it shall signal the final battle of Ragnorok. It is also said that this will release Naglfar, the boat made of the fingernails of the dead, from its moorings to carry the armies of the damned into the final battle. When later questioned about this xe claimed to not understand the interviewer, know what Jormungandr meant, or accept any connection between this and the ship made of bone and crewed by the dead, which xe is often seen sailing around the Hellmouth.</option>
+
<option>Jormungandr. At least once, Statter Jr. has stated that the Jr. In {{RandomPronoun|lower|possessive|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} name stands for [[Wikipedia:Jörmungandr|Jörmungandr]], the world-serpent of norse myth. It is said that when Jörmungandr ascends from the depths it shall signal the final battle of [[Wikipedia:Ragnarök|Ragnarök]]. It is also said that this will release [[Wikipedia:Naglfar|Naglfar]], the boat made of the fingernails of the dead, from its moorings to carry the armies of the damned into the final battle. When later questioned about this {{RandomPronoun|lower|subject|claimed|claimed|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} to not understand the interviewer, know what Jörmungandr meant, or accept any connection between this and the ship made of bone and crewed by the dead, which {{RandomPronoun|lower|subject|is|is|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} often seen sailing around the [[Hellmouth (entity)|Hellmouth]].</option>
<option>January</option>
+
<option>January.</option>
<option>Junior. It is a reference to shore height. </option>
+
<option>Junior. It is a reference to {{RandomPronoun|lower|possessive|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} height.</option>
<option>Jeans. They are seas favorite sort of pants. </option>
+
<option>Jorts.</option>
 +
<option>Jorts. They are {{RandomPronoun|lower|possessive|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} favorite sort of shorts.</option>
 +
<option>Jeans. They are {{RandomPronoun|lower|possessive|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} favorite sort of pants.</option>
 
<option>Doctor but it’s Jean Doctor. Performing doctoral duties with jeans.</option>
 
<option>Doctor but it’s Jean Doctor. Performing doctoral duties with jeans.</option>
<option>JEFF! (as decided by JEFF!)</option>
+
<option>JEFF! (as decided by [[JEFF!]]).</option>
<option>Just Raving</option>
+
<option>Just Raving.</option>
<option>Junior, but no one can track down Kaj Statter Sr.</option>
+
<option>Junior, but no one can track down [[Kaj Statter Sr.]]</option>
<option>Junior, but there is no Kaj Statter Sr., rather there is another completely unrelated Kaj Statter who is ½ an inch taller</option>
+
<option>Junior, but there is no [[Kaj Statter Sr.]], rather there is another completely unrelated Kaj Statter who is ½ an inch taller.</option>
<option>Jumbo Ravioli</option>
+
<option>Jumbo Ravioli.</option>
<option>nothing, sea just thought it sounded cool</option>
+
<option>nothing, {{RandomPronoun|lower|subject|just|just|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} thought it sounded cool.</option>
<option>Jrunior. That’s just a part of seas name. A last last name.The last of all last names. The ultimate name. Simple.</option>
+
<option>Jrunior. That’s just a part of {{RandomPronoun|lower|possessive|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} name. A last last name. The last of all last names. The ultimate name. Simple.</option>
<option>The letters they’ve stolen from other people’s names. According to Kaj, “there’s a _ordan and a Spence_ wandering around real mad at me right now.” </option>
+
<option>The letters they’ve stolen from other people’s names. According to Statter Jr., “there’s a _ordan and a Spence_ wandering around real mad at me right now.”</option>
<option>Truth, justice, and freedom for all.</option>
+
<option>Truth, Justice, and Freedom for all.</option>
<option>Jerfolk</option>
+
<option>Jerfolk.</option>
<option>Jovial Richard</option>
+
<option>Jovial Richard.</option>
<option>Juice</option>
+
<option>Juice.</option>
<option>Joint Replacer</option>
+
<option>Joint Replacer.</option>
<option>Jorts</option>
+
<option>(no rules) Just Right.</option>
<option>(no rules) Just Right</option>
+
<option>Joyride.</option>
<option>Joyride</option>
+
<option>Jasmine Rice.</option>
<option>Jasmine Rice</option>
+
<option>Jump Rope.</option>
<option>Jump Rope</option>
+
<option>Industrial Solvent.<ref>{{RandomPronoun|upper|subject|refuses|refuses|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} to accept or comprehend that this abbreviation makes no sense</ref></option>
<option>Industrial Solvent (will not accept or comprehend that this abbreviation makes no sense)</option>
+
<option>Juggler.</option>
<option>Juggler</option>
+
<option>Jarl.</option>
<option>Jarl</option>
+
<option>James Rond.</option>
<option>James Rond </option>
+
<option>Jerboa (Rodent).</option>
<option>Jerboa (Rodent)</option>
+
<option>Jerboa (Derogatory).</option>
<option>Jerboa (Derogatory)</option>
+
<option>Jetset Radio.</option>
<option>Jetset Radio</option>
+
<option>Japan Railways.</option>
<option>Japan Railways</option>
+
<option>Juliet and/or Romeo.</option>
<option>Juliet and/or Romeo</option>
+
<option>Joctorpus.</option>
<option>Joctorpus</option>
+
<option>Juror.</option>
<option>Juror</option>
+
<option>Jrainpipes.</option>
<option>Jrainpipes</option>
+
<option>Jailbreaker.</option>
<option>Jailbreaker</option>
+
<option>Jrustfundchilde.</option>
<option>Jrustfundchilde</option>
+
<option>Jraconteur.</option>
<option>Jraconteur</option>
+
<option>Jrudjerry.</option>
<option>Jrudjerry</option>
+
<option>Jrijible.</option>
<option>Jrijible</option>
+
<option>Journalist-at-arms.</option>
<option>Journalist-at-arms</option>
+
<option>Jackrabbit.</option>
<option>Jackrabbit</option>
+
<option>Jolly Roger.</option>
<option>Jolly Roger</option>
+
<option>Jolly Ronchers.</option>
<option>Jolly Ronchers</option>
+
<option>Jrudicial Review.</option>
<option>Jrudicial Review</option>
+
<option>Jreamboat.</option>
<option>Jreamboat</option>
+
<option>Jeanut Rutter.</option>
<option>Jeanut Rutter</option>
+
<option>(J)Leeroy (R)Jenkins.</option>
<option>(J)Leeroy (R)Jenkins</option>
+
<option>Janitor.</option>
<option>Janitor</option>
+
<option>Jackhammer.</option>
<option>Jackhammer</option>
+
<option>Jetliner.</option>
<option>Jetliner</option>
+
<option>Jacuzzi Radicalizer.</option>
<option>Jacuzzi Radicalizer</option>
 
 
<option>JR, as in who statted JR?</option>
 
<option>JR, as in who statted JR?</option>
<option>Jesting Required</option>
+
<option>Jesting Required.</option>
<option>Spurrrrrs That Jingle Jingle Jangle</option>
+
<option>Spurrrrrs That Jingle Jingle Jangle.</option>
<option>Jbonecourse</option>
+
<option>Jbonecourse.</option>
<option>Jabroni</option>
+
<option>Jabroni.</option>
<option>Jro mama</option>
+
<option>Jro mama.</option>
<option>Jr, pronounced yarrr </option>
+
<option>Jr, pronounced yarrr.</option>
<option>Jeometry</option>
+
<option>Jeometry.</option>
<option>Jayden Right</option>
+
<option>[[Jayden Wright|Jayden Right]].</option>
<option>Jayden Rong</option>
+
<option>[[Jayden Wright|Jayden Rong]].</option>
<option>JRDuncle (Just a Real Dog**** Uncle)</option>
+
<option>JRDuncle (Just a Real Dog**** Uncle).</option>
<option>Reverend Jeremiah Wright</option>
+
<option>Reverend Jeremiah Wright.</option>
</choose>.
+
</choose>
 
*Statter Jr. has a large collection of chewable jewellery.
 
*Statter Jr. has a large collection of chewable jewellery.
*When interviewers asked Statter Jr. how {{RandomPronoun|lower|subject|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}}got Cashmoney’s ships to move through sand, Statter Jr. was confused “What do you mean? Have you never tried to drive a boat through the desert?” Leading to the invention of the now popular ‘sand sailing’ as both a recreational activity and Hellmouth’s primary form of transportation.
+
*When interviewers asked Statter Jr. how {{RandomPronoun|lower|subject|was|was|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} able to get Cashmoney’s ships to move through sand, Statter Jr. was confused “What do you mean? Have you never tried to drive a boat through the desert?” Leading to the invention of the now popular ‘sand sailing’ as both a recreational activity and [[Hellmouth (town)|Hellmouth]]’s primary form of transportation.
*The original boat used by Kaj Statter Jr. to crash into the Pocket was composed entirely of bone, obtained by Statter Jr. by unknown means.
+
*The original boat used by Statter Jr. to crash into [[The Pocket]] was composed entirely of bone Statter Jr. obtained {{RandomPronoun|lower|reflexive|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}}, via means unknown.
 
*Statter Jr. is also known as Kaj “<choose uncached="">
 
*Statter Jr. is also known as Kaj “<choose uncached="">
 
<option>You’re going to tell me that I’m WRONG</option>
 
<option>You’re going to tell me that I’m WRONG</option>
Line 168: Line 169:
 
<option>One time I ate sand, it tasted like sand</option>
 
<option>One time I ate sand, it tasted like sand</option>
 
</choose>” Statter Jr.
 
</choose>” Statter Jr.
*Statter Jr. is responsible for a new pre-game ritual for the Sunbeams lineup. Before each game, sea will flip a semi-full bottle of water. If it lands on its base, it is considered good luck for the game ahead. If the bottle falls over, the batters will resign themselves to a bad game.
+
*Statter Jr. is responsible for a new pre-game ritual for the Sunbeams lineup. Before each game, {{RandomPronoun|lower|subject|will|will|table={{UserWiki:Iznj/pronountable}}}} flip a semi-full bottle of water. If it lands on its base, it is considered good luck for the game ahead. If the bottle falls over, the batters will resign themselves to a bad game.
  
 
==Fan Works==
 
==Fan Works==
Line 200: Line 201:
 
File:Statter Up!.jpg|alt=A digital sketch of Sunbeams player Kaj Statter Jr. Kaj is a pirate mailperson with swept-back hair and glasses. Xe is wearing a long coat with tassels on the shoulders over a crop-top, long pants, and has a mailbag slung over one shoulder. Xe's smiling wide and holding letter up between xir index and middle fingers.|by [https://twitter.com/Poltergeisz/status/1372893036477300737 '''Saffron''']
 
File:Statter Up!.jpg|alt=A digital sketch of Sunbeams player Kaj Statter Jr. Kaj is a pirate mailperson with swept-back hair and glasses. Xe is wearing a long coat with tassels on the shoulders over a crop-top, long pants, and has a mailbag slung over one shoulder. Xe's smiling wide and holding letter up between xir index and middle fingers.|by [https://twitter.com/Poltergeisz/status/1372893036477300737 '''Saffron''']
 
</gallery>
 
</gallery>
 
 
----
 
----
 
<references />
 
<references />

Revision as of 21:07, 30 December 2021

Kaj Statter Jr. is a player in the Shadows for the Hellmouth Sunbeams, and has been with the team since Season 13, Day 98.

Official League Records

Statter Jr. joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Hellmouth Sunbeams on Season 13, Day 98 after the incineration of Sutton Bishop.

In Statter's first full game, Season 13, Day 99, they partied, stole home, and used Base Instincts to walk to second. During the Season 13 elections the Sunbeams benefited from all four "Bubble" blessings, which increased Statter's batting, baserunning, and defense by 4%. Statter Jr. also gained the Smooth modification as a result of the Peanut Butter blessing.

During the Season 15 elections, Statter's baserunning was boosted 1.9 2 as a result of the Running Practice blessing.

During the Season 18 elections, Statter Jr. retreated to the Shadows in exchange for Phineas Wormthrice as a result of the Sunbeams' Foreshadow will, resulting in a combined 8.6 9.4 stat increase.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

History

Much of Statter Jr.’s history is currently unknown, although xe claims to have experience with a wide variety of careers, many more than could fit into a normal human lifespan. Sea has stated that xir family is very expansive, with generations of Statters living across the globe, yet still remains ‘tight-knit’. It is known that Statter Jr. has Māori heritage on seas mother's side, but the rest of xir family remains a mystery. Statter Jr. is happy to share seas whakapapa with those who ask. A variety of people have been observed cheering xem on at seas games. Despite the uncertainty about some aspects of xir family, everyone queried about Statter Jr. has agreed that sea has ‘strong youngest sibling energy’. Statter Jr. often discusses xir father’s family's many long-standing traditions, such as ‘consuming carbon dioxide and producing oxygen’, and ‘sea shanties’.

Career with the Sunbeams

After the incineration of Sutton Bishop, Statter Jr. was enlisted to deliver a letter from the town of Bishop Sutton to the Sunbeams. Upon arrival at The Pocket on Season 13, Day 99, Statter Jr. made seas delivery and promptly joined on as the newest member of the Sunbeams lineup. Xe made a powerful first impression in seas first game by careening through the far wall of The Pocket, partying, stealing home, and walking to second.

Statter Jr. quickly settled into life with the Sunbeams, taking advantage of the many ships left lying around by Aldon Cashmoney, sailing them across the desert and using them in xir new Hellmouth mail delivery service. Sea became famous for stopping any mail deliveries at the border of the Hellmouth, stealing them, and delivering them, in order to avoid the delivery person having to enter Hellmouth. This has made xem a favourite of the Hellmouth Anti-Tourism Board. Statter Jr. also took up studying bonecourse at the Hellmouth Community College, indulging a lifelong fascination with discourses. Sea also maintains a busy calendar of social events, with xir boat parties being famous throughout Hellmouth and the league.

Initially, sea had many bouts of dehydration during games at The Solarium. Fellow players carried misters to keep Statter Jr. in the game. Recently, Statter Jr. has been seen with a localised raincloud over xir head, periodically misting shore without input. This is theorised to be xir Adaptation.

Trivia

  • The Jr. stands for Reverend Jeremiah Wright.
  • Statter Jr. has a large collection of chewable jewellery.
  • When interviewers asked Statter Jr. how sea was able to get Cashmoney’s ships to move through sand, Statter Jr. was confused “What do you mean? Have you never tried to drive a boat through the desert?” Leading to the invention of the now popular ‘sand sailing’ as both a recreational activity and Hellmouth’s primary form of transportation.
  • The original boat used by Statter Jr. to crash into The Pocket was composed entirely of bone Statter Jr. obtained xemself, via means unknown.
  • Statter Jr. is also known as Kaj “figuratively and literally owns bones” Statter Jr.
  • Statter Jr. is responsible for a new pre-game ritual for the Sunbeams lineup. Before each game, sea will flip a semi-full bottle of water. If it lands on its base, it is considered good luck for the game ahead. If the bottle falls over, the batters will resign themselves to a bad game.

Fan Works

Fanfiction
For more fanfiction see the 'Kaj Statter Junior' tag on AO3

Videos