Tillman Henderson

The subject of this page has been Preserved.
They may have participated in the ILB Semi-Centennial. No other information is available after their entry into the Vault. Tour the collection here.
In case of incomplete records, post on the Talk page.

Tillman Henderson
Basic Information
Position	Lineup Player
Team	Vault Legends
Former Team(s)	Baltimore Crabs, Charleston Shoe Thieves, Rising Stars
Status	legendary
Batting	(4.3)
Pitching	(3.4)
Defense	(5.8)
Running	(6.8)
Modifications	LegendaryThis Player is Legendary.  ReturnedAt the end of each season, this Player has a chance of being called back to the Void. See also: Glossary
Items	None
Dates Active	Jul 20, 2020 – Oct 7, 2020; Oct 16, 2020 – Mar 14, 2021
External Links	Blaseball-Reference Player Changes Player Page
Personal Information
Evolution	Base
Peanut Allergy	Allergic
Pregame Ritual	Inventing secret handshakes
Coffee Style	Cold Brew
Blood Type	O No
Fate	70
Biographical Details
Pronouns	He/Him
Personal Relationships
Relations	Harmony Henderson (mother) Declan Suzanne (unknown)
Rival(s)	Everyone
Member of the BlaseballCommunity Hall of Fame
Induction	Week 25
Vote	59.39%

Tillman Henderson is a lineup player for the Vault Legends, and has been with the team since the ILB Semi-Centennial. Henderson previously played for the Baltimore Crabs, Charleston Shoe Thieves, and Rising Stars.

Official League Records

Henderson joined the ILB as a pitcher for the Baltimore Crabs with the Return of Blaseball.

During the Season β4 elections, Henderson swapped positions from pitcher to lineup player as a result of the Mutual Aid blessing.

During the Season β5 elections, Henderson received boosts in all ratings as well as a boost in baserunning as a part of the Crabs' Horde Hallucinations, and Rollback Netcode blessings.

On Season β7, Day 74, Henderson siphoned some of Miguel James' baserunning ability.

Henderson was incinerated on Season β9, Day 64, and replaced by Silvaire Roadhouse. Henderson returned to Active status following an idol board-related feedback swap with Jaylen Hotdogfingers after the Season β10 regular season concluded.

During the Season β10 elections, Henderson received Noise-Cancelling Headphones, becoming Soundproof. (The Headphones would later be lost, along with all other Discipline Era items across the league, at the beginning of Season β15.)

During the Coffee Cup, Henderson played for the Cold Brew Crew as a lineup player.

During the Season β12 elections Henderson received a combined stat change of 16.2 → 20.2 as a result of the Shoe Thieves' Infuse will.

During the Season β13 Elections, Henderson's Returned modification activated, pulling them back into the Hall of Flame. Henderson was replaced by Simba Davis.

During the ILB Semi-Centennial, Henderson played for the Rising Stars, until they were collected and made Legendary by the Vault Legends.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

History

Tillman Henderson is the worst person in the entire splort of Blaseball with an effortless heel persona. Put simply, he sucks. Truly reprehensible. Absolute wasteman. No time for this clown.

Known Traits

Tillman Henderson is known by many to be “The Worst” but many readers have submitted more detailed descriptions of exactly how Henderson is the worst, and how he has personally wronged them. Here is the latest selection, though new reports will show up any time you refresh the page, and the full list can be found here

Tillman Henderson has left bad yelp reviews on pretty much every establishment in Baltimore. Pretty much every resident in the city knows not to give him attention, but his antics still catch unaware tourists or visitors and that alone sustains him.

Tillman Henderson has the energy of, like, "you go to a big family get together and like your family is big but there are only like three or four people your age cuz the rest are all young kids or adults but there's this one cousin you really don't interact with otherwise because you have nothing in common and he kinda gives you a weird vibe where he's really fratty and kinda judgmental and stuff but you're sitting in their room at this party and watching him play madden and you hate madden you just don't know what could possibly be fun about the game because you never played it and only watched it but what else are you gonna do because you don't like having to hang out with the older family members because they always end up talking about politics and they're really loud about it and you get overstimulated so you hang out in this room instead and the room has a subtle funk to it that is definitely not weed and definitely not cheese and your eyes kinda glaze over to the CRT lights of the madden game and your cousin's constant talkover about the game becomes rhythmic as you lose sense of place and he's too self centered to actually hold a conversation but it beats having someone trying to include you in conversation by asking you when you're getting straight married and why your degree was useless but simultaneously shame you for dropping out of college too, your cousin is too in the game to probe you about your life and as long as he doesn't you can uphold the facade that he wouldn't ask those questions if he did notice you for a second because he hasn't given you a chance to prove or disprove how grating his personality is so limbo becomes the most comfortable state to be in sitting on the corner of this unmade bed waiting for dinner to arrive as the time stretches on in the most infinite way that only awkward family get togethers have"

Tillman Henderson represents a moment, an incremental improvement from awful person to negligibly less awful person, day by day, with your most awful self stretched infinitely behind you and your somewhat decent self off beyond the horizon, both forever out of reach as you crawl from this one moment of your life to the next. There is no climax to the struggle, it's routine.

Blaseball Career

Tillman Henderson has (in his own words) one of the most historic and interesting careers in the ILB.

Henderson began pitching with the Baltimore Crabs in Season β1, (which he was terrible at) and was moved to their lineup in the Season β4 elections where he unfortunately fared much better, and was a valuable part of the Crabs’s offence as they swept through the league in the last half of the Discipline Era.

On Season 9 Day 64, Henderson was incinerated and replaced by Silvaire Roadhouse, and as per Crabs tradition his ashes were turned into Memorial Pearls and distributed to Kennedy Loser, Adalberto Tosser, Forrest Best, and Declan Suzanne.

After the conclusion of the Season β10 regular season, Henderson was unexpectedly revived by swapping places with Jaylen Hotdogfingers and joining the Charleston Shoe Thieves as a pitcher (which he was still terrible at).

In the Season 13 Elections Henderson was forced to return to the Hall of Flame alongside Sutton Picklestein, and he was replaced on the Shoe Thieves rotation by Simba Davis.

Henderson remained in the Hall gone but not forgotten, managing to gain an Ego+ modification in Season 18, which eventually led to him playing for the Rising Stars in the ILB ILB Semi-Centennial alongside former teammates Gunther O’Brian, Hewitt Best, Tot Fox and Adalberto Tosser.During the game he was stolen by the Vault Legends, where he remained for the duration of the Expansion Era alongside former teammates Nagomi McDaniel, and Hewitt Best, who was also stolen during the game.

Tabloids and Rumors

Henderson’s strange and varied career has led to a number of contradictory and unlikely rumours regarding exactly who he is and what he gets up to. This is a collection of some of the ones we have managed to find. This time, the Interdimensional Rumor Mill reveals a Rumor from IF-92.158 out of its Rumor Registry...

In Literature

Following Henderson's incineration, Runolfio Peeper wrote "The Funeral of Tillman Henderson"

The funeral was in a local dive
The only place where Tillman wasn’t banned
He’d burnt most of his bridges while alive
Now burnt himself, the crowd was less than grand

Among those gathered, there were muttered thanks
That we were finally rid this noxious pest.
A lad stepped up, known for his youtube pranks
He was the chosen speaker, he confessed.

Turns out Tillman predicted his demise
And so prepared for us some final words.
We found the opening was no surprise:
“Hey welcome, mourners all, you lousy turds!”

“I felt this day was coming,” Tillman wrote,
“And knew I really couldn’t miss the chance.
To take a moment for a swan-song gloat.
You can’t call me a liar—check my pants!

“I bet I burnt much better than did Combs
And just like Nora, death gave me no fear.
I’m sure the Crabs will make me touching poems
From the Hall of Flame, I’ll wipe those on my rear.

“I’m getting bored of writing all this trash
Thinking of you guys all sad just makes me sick
I really wish I weren’t a pile of ash
So I could tell you all to suck my…” quick
Footsteps echoed in the hall outside
And for a long moment nobody spoke
As if in a dream Tillman hadn’t died—
That he would walk in and reveal the joke.

But it was only Tillman’s father, late,
Who shuffled in with his starched suit and stayed
Just long enough so that he could extricate
The keys to his son’s orange Escalade.

And then, with little else to say, we left,
Crab teammates held Tillman’s urn up high
Like a championship trophy, and heft
His remains to where Tillman would lie.

We laid him as he asked behind the lot
Where the city buried all its toxic waste
And then we gave some mighty spits—we thought
This gesture would be much to Tillman’s taste.

As we walked away we sang a cheery tune,
To honor what from Tillman we had learned:
That death comes unexpected and too soon,
And life is best enjoyed before we’re burned.

_{Edit History}

• _{Last edited by 69HendersonHater69 on 8/4/2020}
• _{Edited by CrabsLoreBard on 8/4/2020 (Comment: i give up)}
• _{Edited by 69HendersonHater69 on 8/4/2020}
• _{Edited by CrabsLoreBard on 8/2/2020 (Comment: STOP VANDALIZING THIS PAGE)}
• _{Edited by TillmanSux87 on 8/1/2020}
• _{Edited by CrabsLoreBard on 7/31/2020 (Comment: Banned)}
• _{Edited by SteakNShake on 7/30/2020 (Comment: hahahaha screw tillman)}
• _{Page created by CrabsLoreBard on 7/20/2020}

Fan Works

Tillman Henderson is the focus of the following song(s):

• Top Ten Tillman Henderson Moments That ACTUALLY Happened by the garages

Tillman Henderson is mentioned in the following song(s):

• shutout by madden (prod. ty jackson)

Gallery

• 

  By @corpserevivers

• 

  Mini-Blaseballer by @HetreaSky

• 

  By @glassgoblin

• 

  By @glassgoblin

• 

  "woe crab be upon ye"
  By @glassgoblin

• 

  By @cryptmilk

• 

  Catboy Tillman by @itsboattime

• 

  By @thecoolereros

• 

  Art by @HORSEIZONTAL

• 

  by @_waalkr

• 
• 

  Declan Suzanne & Tillman Henderson by @Flamierrr

• 

  By @Patchwork-Quilts

• 

  Tillman Henderson & Gunther O'Brian by @graysinbran

• 

  Tillman and Mike Townsend mini by Sky

• 

  Tillman and Mike Townsend by Eli

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  Tillman by Eli

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  Tillman by Eli

• 

  Tillman and Mike Townsend by Eli