Kennedy Loser

Kennedy Loser
S20 by @toopachu Artist's rendition by @jennayowza
Basic Information
Position	Lineup Player
Team	Baltimore Crabs
Status	active
Batting	(4.1)
Pitching	(5.1)
Defense	(6.0)
Running	(5.9)
Modifications	AlternateThis Player is an Alternate... Player is replaced with an alternate reality version, stats are randomized.  HauntedHaunted players will occasionally be Inhabited. Temporarily has the stats of a deceased player.  NegativeThis Player is a Negative. Negative players have negative eDensity.  Reverberating
Items	Holey Night Vision Sunglasses of Fourtitude ●○○○ Rock Socks ●●○
Dates Active	Jul 20, 2020–present
External Links	Blaseball-Reference Player Changes Player Page
Personal Information
Evolution	Base 1
Peanut Allergy	Not Allergic
Pregame Ritual	Tarot
Coffee Style	Decaf
Blood Type	Love
Fate	83
Other Background Information
Player Twitter	@KennedyLoser
Member of the BlaseballCommunity Hall of Fame
Induction	Week 30
Vote	60.77%

Kennedy Loser is a lineup player for the Baltimore Crabs, and has been with the team since Season β1.

Official League Records

Loser is perhaps best known for their home run in the 20th inning that brought the Crabs to an 8-6 victory over the Breckenridge Jazz Hands on day 52 of Blaseball Season β2.

During the Season β5 election, Loser received boosts in all ratings as well as a boost in baserunning as a part of the Crabs' Horde Hallucinations, Falling Stars, and Rollback Netcode blessings.

On Season 10, Day X, Loser gained the Flinch modification after the Crabs lost to THE SHELLED ONE'S PODS.

During the Season β12 elections, Loser's defense was increased by 3.2 → 3.9 as a result of the Crabs' The Rack blessing.

On Season β13, Day 89, Loser became Reverberating due to Reverb weather.

During the Season β15 elections, Loser's Flinch modification was changed into the Haunted modification by the Crabs' Reform will.

During the Season β22 elections, Loser became an Alternate and gained the Negative modification due to the Handful Alternate Trust blessing.

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COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Box of Kennedy Loser Files

Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-65.408 and start reading...

Marriage

Kennedy is married. This came as a surprise to many of the Crabs, who did not even realize that he was married to the person he kept bringing over to their gatherings, until the very day of ascension when he brought up in conversation, "I am going to miss my husband." Kennedy's husband is named Terry. They love each other very much. Terry doesn't really 'get' the whole blaseball thing, but hey, it's Ken's job, and they want to be supportive.

Terry is short for

FEEDBACK DETECTED
Unidentified disturbances have affected the fidelity of this IF signal. The contents of this entry may not be the same every time. Visit the Collection to review our comprehensive records, or add your own if a new one comes your way.

Terror Loser. None of the other Crabs have ever met Terry, but know him only by the wake of despair that marks his passing. Terry's influence spanned the western shores of central Chesapeake, and prior to his marriage with Kennedy, the governor of Maryland had placed Calvert County under a state of emergency. After several failed (reporters have gone as far as to say 'bungled,' even) extraction and evacuation attempts on the populace, the state had begun deliberations to designate the entire region as Lost/Uninhabited despite still being populated.

The Baltimore Crabs team captains were contracted to settle the affair, and while defending against tangible unidentified threats was familiar ground for Forrest Best and Brock Forbes, Terry was one of the only targets known to have eluded them on record. When it was clear that they'd need all hands on deck here, Kennedy got directly involved with the operation. The events that follow have not been debriefed, reported, nor witnessed, but soon after, the hold over Calvert County had been lifted, science teams have determined the region safe, and life returned to normal. Kennedy and Terry were wed, with █████ ████████ as witness, the court records were immediately sealed.

Baltimore tabloid Softshell Hardball managed to wring out a brief interview with Kennedy some years later to shed light on his and Terry's private life. Kennedy, well trained in PR, kept a cool head as he deftly dodged muck with a smile, until the reporter insinuated that his marriage might have been a political arrangement to pacify Terry's reign. Soured, he vehemently denied it as such, assured the press that he and Terror are in deeply love and kiss, like, a lot, and refused to answer any further questions.

When Terry is home with Kennedy is the only time that his door has been confirmed to be locked. Most days, though, Terry still roams the coasts, but eyewitness reports have dropped to acceptable levels so he is no longer considered a credible threat. He doesn't target populated areas or livestock anymore, but he's definitely still out there. He's definitely still hungry.

Fan Art

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  Mini-Blaseballer by @HetreaSky

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  Art by @glassgoblin

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  Art by @glassgoblin

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  Art by @corpserevivers

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  Art of Kennedy Loser by @Waalkr

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  Art of Kennedy loser by @imaginecroc

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  Phantom by ChezForShire

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  Broken Piece Kennedy Loser (CW for violence, gore, and body horror) by Klauinax

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  do you know what you're doing? (don't worry, i don't either) Ken and Luis talk in an unfamiliar place about familiar feelings. by Rai

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  Let me let you down Kennedy Loser kills god. This is not the end of his story. by crookedsaint

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  Art by @ratgills

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  Art by @toopachu