Blood Hamburger

Blood Hamburger
Hamburger as of Season 3, by @shenaniglenn
Basic Information
Position	Lineup Player
Team	Charleston Shoe Thieves
Status	active
Batting	(4.2)
Pitching	(3.8)
Defense	(2.8)
Running	(1.8)
Modifications	FlinchHitters with Flinch cannot swing until a strike has been thrown in the At Bat.  ScatteredThis Player returned from Elsewhere a bit Scattered.
Items	Passionate Chunky Cap ●○○
Dates Active	Aug 6, 2020–present
External Links	Blaseball-Reference Player Changes Player Page
Personal Information
Evolution	Base
Peanut Allergy	Allergic
Pregame Ritual	Eating grass
Coffee Style	Anything
Blood Type	Psychic
Fate	50
Biographical Details
Pronouns	They/Them, He/Him
Nickname(s)	The Burg
Language(s)	Suffering
Species	Meat(?) Entity
Horse	Less Than 12% Horse Meat As Required By EU Law
Personal Relationships
Husbands	Joe Voorhees
Other Background Information
Catchphrase	"Meat Is Murder And So Am I"
Likes	Blood, Veggie burgers
Dislikes	Unblood, Hamburgers
Shoe-Stealing Specialty	Saddle Shoes

Blood Hamburger is a lineup player for the Charleston Shoe Thieves, and has been with the team since Season β3, Day 75.

Official League Records

Hamburger joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Charleston Shoe Thieves after the incineration of Blankenship Fischer on Season β3, Day 75.

During the Season 6 elections, Hamburger received a combined 12.2 → 12.6 stat increase as a result of the Shoe Thieves' Mutually Arising blessing.

On Season 9, Day X, Hamburger gained the Flinch modification after the Shoe Thieves lost to THE SHELLED ONE'S PODS.

On Season β10, Day 1, some of Hamburger's defensive ability was siphoned by Hawai'i Fridays lineup player Baldwin Breadwinner in a game with Blooddrain weather, decreasing it from 3.7 → 3.2 . On Day 8, some of Hamburger's defensive ability was siphoned by Philly Pies lineup player Lang Richardson in a game with Blooddrain weather, decreasing it from 3.2 → 2.7 .

In the Season 10 elections, Hamburger received Noise-Cancelling Headphones, becoming Soundproof. (The Headphones would later be lost, along with all other Discipline Era items across the league, at the beginning of Season β15.)

During the Season 13 elections, Hamburger retreated to the Shoe Thieves'Shadows in exchange for Herring Winfield as a result of the Shoe Thieves' Foreshadow will, resulting in a combined 15.3 → 15.9 stat increase.

During the Season 14 elections, Hamburger rejoined the Shoe Thieves' pitching rotation in exchange for Simba Davis as a result of the Shoe Thieves' Foreshadow will.

On Season β18, Day 64, Hamburger swallowed a stray peanut and had a allergic reaction, resulting in a combined 15.4 → 11.0 stat decrease. On Day 99, Hamburger retreated to the Shoe Thieves' Shadows in exchange for Ren Hunter as a result of Choux Stadium's Fax Machine.

On Season β19, Day 41, Hamburger joined the Shoe Thieves' pitching rotation in exchange for Tevin Melcon as a result of Choux Stadium's Fax Machine.

On Season β20, Day 53, Hamburger retreated to the Shoe Thieves' Shadows in exchange for Tevin Melcon as a result of Choux Stadium's Fax Machine. On Day 76, Hamburger rejoined the pitching rotation in exchange for Oscar Dollie via the Fax Machine.

On Season β21, Day 98, Hamburger retreated to the Shoe Thieves' Shadows in exchange for Terrell Bradley as a result of Choux Stadium's Fax Machine.

On Season β22, Day 22, Hamburger rejoined the Shoe Thieves' pitching rotation in exchange for Inky Rutledge as a result of Choux Stadium's Fax Machine. On Day 26, Hamburger retreated to the Shoe Thieves' Shadows in exchange for Rutledge via the Fax Machine. On Day 34, Hamburger rejoined the Shoe Thieves' pitching rotation in exchange for Inky Rutledge via the Fax Machine.

Over the course of Season β23, Hamburger entered and exited the Shoe Thieves' Shadows two times as a result of Choux Stadium Fax Machine and Voicemail events, ending the Season on the lineup.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Media Recognition

Off the field, Blood Hamburger is a notable media personality and commentator who regularly appears on Blaseball splortscasts and has garnered a reputation as "one of the most recognisable names in Blaseball." Hamburger has been mentioned by name in several major publications unrelated to Blaseball, including The Paris Review and Rock Paper Shotgun.

Personal Life

Space twists. Dimensions shiver. Something new springs forth. This time, the Interdimensional Rumor Mill reveals a Rumor from IF-92.179 out of its Rumor Registry...

Blood engages in the pre-game ritual of eating grass. He does this because he wants to be the best Hamburger he can be, and eats grass to be more like a cow. He does not actually enjoy eating grass, which explain why his vibes are often low.

Fan Works

• 

  Season 3 card, by @shenaniglenn

• 

  by @kyl_armstrong

• 

  by @Sir5000

• 

  Mini-Blaseballer by @HetreaSky

• 

  Blood Hamburger (Hlomecoming) by @shenaniglenn

• 

  Blood and Inky Rutledge in @BlaseballPolls DEVOB tournament by @shenaniglenn

• 

  Blood taking a siesta with former Shoe Thieves Beasley Gloom and Joe Voorhees by @shenaniglenn

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