Charleston Shoe Thieves
The Charleston Shoe Thieves are an Internet League Blaseball team in the Mild Low division of the Mild League. They have been a part of the League since Season 1. The Shoe Thieves were previously in the Chaotic Good division of the Good League.
Roster
Lineup
- Hotbox Sato
- Richardson Games
- Velazquez Alstott
- Lachlan Shelton
- Stu Trololol
- Sebastian Woodman
- Howell Franklin (wolf)
- Esme Ramsey
- Blood Hamburger
Pitchers
Select Tlopps cards can be found here.
Former Players
Incinerations
- Sebastian Townsend (replaced by Atlas Jonbois)
- Atlas Jonbois (replaced by Sebastian Woodman)
- Matteo Prestige (replaced by Gunther O'Brian)
- Blankenship Fischer (replaced by Blood Hamburger Season 3, Day 75)
Feedback Swaps
- Workman Gloom (Season 4, Day 28; replaced by Joe Voorhees)
- Morrow Doyle (Season 4, Day 58; replaced by Hotbox Sato)
- Ren Hunter (Season 4, day 83; replaced by Richardson Games)
- Antonio Wallace (Season 6, Day 23; replaced by Lachlan Shelton)
Blessings and Trades
For players who left the team via a method other than incineration, see Category:Former Charleston Shoe Thieves Players
Season Results
Season 2
The Shoe Thieves narrowly secured The Good League's fourth and final playoff spot in Game 98 of Season 2, edging out the Yellowstone Magic to proceed to the playoffs with a final record of 50-49, the least wins of any playoff team that season.
Season 5
In the Season 5 election, the Shoe Thieves won two blessings:
- Bad Neighbors, which impaired the overall rating of the rest of the Mild Low division by 3%.
- Soul Swap, which randomized the 5 worst players on the team:
- Gunther O'Brian's pitching stats were randomized (0 -> 2)
- Beasley Gloom's pitching stats were randomized (0.5 -> 0.5), then again (0.5 -> 2.5)
- Kevin Dudley's pitching stats were randomized (0.5 -> 2)
- Snyder Briggs's pitching stats were randomized (1 -> 0.5)
Season 6
In the Season 6 election, the Shoe Thieves won two blessings:
- Who?, which stole the least popular player in the league, hitter Howell Franklin, from the Houston Spies, and maxed their stats. Their worst hitter, Joe Voorhees, was sent in return.
- Mutually Arising, which improved the overall rating of the Mild Low division by 2%
Team Overview
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
For an in-depth look at the Shoe Thieves' history, see Charleston Shoe Thieves/History.
The Charleston Shoe Thieves are from Charleston. They are known for stealing shoes, espeically from rival teams. The Shoe Thieves are also known as "the second gayest team in Blaseball" after losing the top spot to the New York Millennials.
The team originally formed as a front for a heist, led by legendary master thief Cornelius Games. Once they realized that they were somewhat competent at the game, the team continued to play professionally. The current roster is a mixture of Games' original crew, professional Blaseball players, and Gunther.
The shoes thieves signal to each other by holding up coded shoes.
Stadium
The Choux Stadium is a French Patisserie in the forest of Mt. Pleasant, although its exact location is unknown. The stadium is maintained by a team of mysterious Gnomes who seemed to appear not long after the stadium was established. Their role in the disappearance of patrons' shoes is unconfirmed. Rumours that the gnomes are just mutant raccoons are unsubstantiated.
Staff
Ownership
The Shoe Thieves do not have a traditional owner. Ownership of the team is distributed amongst every patron of the Choux Stadium and returned upon exit.
Current Staff
- General Manager: Cornelius Games functions as the team's general manager, as well as being their ace pitcher.
- Manager: You!
- Pitching Coach: After their unfortunate delacing, Matteo Prestige's spirit became trapped in the upper decks of Choux Stadium. In between cries of eternal anguish, the spirit can be heard coaching the team's pitching staff. They have been given the honorary title of head pitching coach as a result.
Mascots
Sneaker Pete is the Shoe Thieves' current mascot and ward. Gunther O'Brian was the previous mascot until he was mistakenly drafted as Matteo Prestige's replacement.
Fan Culture
For a more in-depth look at Shoe Thieves fan culture, see Charleston Shoe Thieves/Fan Culture
Fans of the Charleston Shoe Thieves are also known as "Accomplices" or "Thieves". There is an emphasis on mutual respect, supporting fellow thieves, and the search for fresh kicks. The most common chant heard from fans is a call and response: "Whose Kicks? / Our Kicks!"
Historic Moments
Stu Stole Home (Season 2, Day 26)
In the bottom of the 14th inning in a game against the Hawaii Fridays, Stu Trololol stole fourth base (incorrectly notated as Home) to put the Fridays into Shame.
Stu Stole Home 2 (Season 2, Day 71)
In the bottom of the 8th inning in a game against the New York Millennials, Trololol again stole fourth base to secure a 6-5 win for the Shoe Thieves.
The Prestige (Season 2, Day 102)
After two consecutive losses in the first round of the Season 2 playoffs against the Dallas Steaks, Matteo Prestige pitched a 7-0 shutout that kept the Shoe Thieves in the playoffs despite the Steaks being the odds-on favorites, cementing their place as a Charleston Shoe Thieves legend.
The Underdog (Season 2, Day 108)
Following a season in which they entered the playoffs with the worst win/loss record of any playoff team, and defeating the league leaders the Dallas Steaks 3-2 and their division rivals the Boston Flowers 3-0, the Shoe Thieves faced the Philly Pies, who were the Season 1 champions, undefeated in the postseason, and so far undefeated in the Season 2 playoffs as well. Despite being the betting odds underdogs, the Shoe Thieves beat the Pies 9-4, breaking their playoff victory streak. Beasley Gloom, the starting pitcher in game one, earned the nickname "underdog" both for his role in such a significant upset victory and his status as the team's only canine player.
Cobbler Coffee (Season 2/3 Offseason)
During Game 2 of the Season 2 Finals against the Philly Pies, starting pitcher Cornelius Games swapped his place on the mound with remarkably convincing doppelganger (later revealed to be a local tram operator Games encountered on the way to the stadium). The dubiously legal substitute performed notably worse than Games's average, allowing 12 runs and potentially contributing to the Shoe Thieves loss. However, the distraction allowed Games to successfully break into the Pies' locker room and steal a pair of sneakers from star batter Jessica Telephone's locker.
Over the course of the following Offseason, Games was able to convince all of the Shoe Thieves' batters to drink Yes Plz! Coffee from the sneakers, hoping ingesting trace amounts of the legendary hitter's sweat would substantially increase their batting prowess in preparation for Season 3.
The Grand Unslam (Season 3, Day 73)
See the main article on The Grand Unslam.
In a game against the Los Angeles Tacos, at the top of the 15th inning, Shoe Thieves player Morrow Doyle hit a grand slam that shook the very foundations of Blaseball itself.
Fan Art
Players | Batters | |
---|---|---|
Pitchers | ||
Shadows | ||
Buried | Richardson Games · Darren Chill · Slosh Gulp · Becker Solis | |
Former |
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Stats | Season | β1 · β2 · β3 · β4 · β5 · β6 · β7 · β8 · β9 · β10 · β11 · β12 · β13 · β14 · β15 · β16 · β17 · β18 · β19 · β20 · β21 · β22 · β23 · β24 1 · 2 · Full List |
Circuits | Gamma 1 · Gamma 2 · Gamma 3 · Gamma 4 | |
Events | The Grand Unslam · Day X | |
Ballpark | Choux Stadium | |
Community Lore | ||
Staff | Cornelius Games · Matteo Prestige · Sneaker Pete · Holden Milk | |
Places | Charleston · The Beck And Call · Sunken Charleston Remembrance Obelisk | |
History | Charleston Shoe Thieves' History · Fan Awards | |
Fan Culture 📣 · Fan Works 💌 · Tlopps Cards 🃏 | ||
Your Kicks are Our Kicks. |