Canada Moist Talkers

Canada Moist Talkers
Logo by Q Peiffer. @longhairQ
Division	Mild High
Ballpark	Gleek Arena
Modifications	Blood DonorIn the Blood Bath each season, this team will donate Stars to a division opponent that finished behind them in the standings.  Targeted Shame (Season 8, 10)Teams with Targeted Shame will start with negative runs the game after being shamed. See also: Glossary  The Fifth Base (Season 10)Ballpark: Teams playing in this Ballpark must run five bases instead of four. Team: This Team must run five bases instead of four. See also: Glossary
Home Location	Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada
Team Slogan	"SPRAY IT, DON'T SAY IT"
Team Colors	#e5f4f5, #ed1c24, #3B97D3, #035597
Emoji	🗣
Mascot	The ORB
Social media	@MoistTalkers

The Canada Moist Talkers are a Blaseball team that debuted in the Chaotic Evil division of the Evil League. After the High Filter decree passed in the election following Season 5, they are in the Mild High division of The Mild League. They have been a part of Internet League Blaseball since Season 1.

Roster

Lineup

• Eugenia Garbage
• Ziwa Mueller
• Cedric Spliff
• Commissioner Vapor
• Jesús Koch
• Beans McBlase
• Alston Cerveza
• Lachlan Shelton
• Fish Summer

Pitchers

• PolkaDot Patterson
• Greer Lott
• Jenkins Good
• Beasley Gloom
• Mooney Doctor

Select Tlopps cards can be found here

Former Players

Incinerations

• Trevino Merritt (Incinerated Season 2, Day 72)
• Kennedy Alstott (Incinerated Season 3, Day 19)
• Tyler Violet (Incinerated Season 3, Day 44)
• Elijah Bates (Incinerated Season 7, Day 32)
• Kiki Familia (Incinerated Season 7, Day 33)
• Antonio Wallace (Incinerated Season 7, Day 33)
• Workman Gloom (Incinerated Season 7, Day 81)

Feedback Swaps

• Joe Voorhees (Season 4, Day 28; replaced by Workman Gloom)
• Richmond Harrison (Season 6, Day 19; replaced by Fish Summer)
• Lachlan Shelton (Season 6, Day 23; replaced by Antonio Wallace)
• Hobbs Cain (Season 6, Day 82; replaced by Alston Cerveza)
• Quack Enjoyable (Season 8, Day 42; Replaced by Cedric Spliff)
• Eugenia Garbage (Season 8, Day 44; replaced by Lachlan Shelton)
• Simon Haley (Season 8, Day 44; replaced by Eugenia Garbage)
• Ortiz Morse (Season 9, Day 53; replaced by Jaylen Hotdogfingers)
• Jaylen Hotdogfingers (Season 9, Day 64; replaced by Beasley Gloom)

Blessings and Trades

For players who left the team via a method other than incineration, see Former Canada Moist Talkers Players

Season Results

• In Season 1 of the IBL, the Moist Talkers finished third in the Chaotic Evil Division, missing the playoffs by only two games.
• In Season 2 of the IBL, the Moist Talkers were swept in the first round of the playoffs by the Philly Pies, 3-0 (Best of 5).
• In Season 3 of the IBL, the Moist Talkers were eliminated in the first round of the playoffs by the Philly Pies, 3-2 (Best of 5).
• In Season 4 of the IBL, the Moist Talkers were blessed by Questioning Their Every Decision in the Season 4 Elections, which caused their opponents in the Chaotic Evil division to have impaired vibes by 7%.
• In Season 8 election, the Moist Talkers received the Barrel of Tiny Eggs blessing, causing 10000 peanuts to be granted to each of their fans.
• In the Season 9 election, the Moist Talkers received the Boatload of Tiny Eggs blessing, granting 10,000 peanuts to their fans, and the Tag Team Hitting blessing, which improved their hitting and that of the Unlimited Tacos by 10%. They were subjected to Targeted Shame and Fifth Base.

Team Overview

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

For a more in-depth look at the team, see Canada Moist Talkers/History

The Moist Talker's home stadium is Gleek Arena in the sunken city of Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada. Outside of Canada, this team is widely known by their nickname "The Towelettes."

The mouth in the Moist Talkers logo is modeled after Tom DeLonge, noted musician, Canadian, and UFO Researcher.

Staff

Coaching

• Michel É. Moose and Chalky Hoodwinkle

Mascots

• Season 1 - THE MAW
• Season 2 - Belligerent Phlegm Receptacle
• Season 3 - The Moist Owlette
• Season 4 - None
• Season 5 - H O R K
• Season 6 - Gigantamax Inflatable and Jerry The Intern
• Season 7 - The ORB
• Season 8 - Buddy

Fan Culture

For a more in-depth look at fan culture, see Canada Moist Talkers/Fan Culture.

Chants

The Canada Moist Talkers' fans have plenty of chants to scream out while in the stands of a blaseball arena. Notably, most of the chants involve a large amount of spitting.

• Talk Spit, Get Hits
• One Mouth, a lotta spit

For more, including player-specific chants, see Chants.

Fan Art

• 

  The Current 2020 Jersey Design for the Moist Talkers. Created by: @Spiral_Joe / longhairQ

• 

  Logo by Cobaltcakes

• 

  Season 3 Team Selfie by @Spiral_Joe.

• 

  Richmond and Hobbs. by @Spiral_Joe.

• 

  Moist Talkers Throwback logo by @easyreader #8140 on Discord

• 

  Full Lineup by avery_helm

• 

  The Dot and York Silk (bellart03)

Notable Events

• In the 57th game of Season 2 in a game against the Hellmouth Sunbeams, the Moist Talkers found themselves down 3-0 in the bottom of the 7th inning. Their collective backs against the wall, they hunkered down and scored one run each in the seventh, eighth, and ninth inning to send the game into extra innings. The run scored in the ninth inning was due to the team's loose cannon, Trevino Merritt, stealing home with two outs while the team was down 3-2. The Moist Talkers went on to win the game in thirteen innings, by a score of 5-3.
• In the 96th game of Season 2 in a game against the Seattle Garages, the Moist Talkers hit two grand slams in the bottom of the third inning, off of the bats of Hobbs Cain and Richmond Harrison respectively. The team put up 13 runs in the inning, which is an Internet Blaseball League record. They would go on to win the game by a score of 18-3, and clinch a spot in the IBL Playoffs.

Trivia

• The Player's favourite television program is H2O: Just Add Water.

On the Material Plane

• In a speech prior to Season 1, Canadian prime minister Justin Trudeau advised the nation that wearing a mask can prevent Canadians from “speaking moistly” to each other, a clear yet subtle nod to the team despite the apparent chronological discrepancy.