Kennedy Loser

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Revision as of 02:50, 11 January 2022 by Iznj (talk | contribs) (Fix the IRM space.)

Kennedy Loser is a lineup player for the Baltimore Crabs. They have played for the team since Season 1.

Official League Records

Loser is perhaps best known for their home run in the 20th inning that brought the Crabs to an 8-6 victory over the Breckenridge Jazz Hands on day 52 of Blaseball Season 2.

During the Season 5 election, Loser received boosts in all ratings as well as a boost in baserunning as a part of the Crabs' Horde Hallucinations, Falling Stars, and Rollback Netcode blessings.

On Season 10, Day X, Loser gained the Flinch modification after the Crabs lost to THE SHELLED ONE'S PODS.

On Season 13, Day 89, Loser became Reverberating due to Reverb weather.

During the Season 15 elections, Loser's Flinch modification was changed into the Haunted modification by the Crabs' Reform will.

During the Season 22 elections, Loser became an Alternate and gained the Negative modification due to the Handful Alternate Trust blessing.


COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Box of Kennedy Loser Files

Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-65.408 and start reading...

Marriage

Kennedy is married. This came as a surprise to many of the Crabs, who did not even realize that he was married to the person he kept bringing over to their gatherings, until the very day of ascension when he brought up in conversation, "I am going to miss my husband." Kennedy's husband is named Terry. They love each other very much. Terry doesn't really 'get' the whole blaseball thing, but hey, it's Ken's job, and they want to be supportive.

Terry is short for

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Tarot Loser. When Ken and Terry first met, Kennedy was still a novice at divination. Supposedly, Terry taught him everything he knew, and gifted him his second and now only deck. Supposedly, thinking of Terry was the only time Ken would ever not draw the Tower. The two had been inseparable for years.

At some point, Terry had fallen gravely ill, and was deteriorating faster than carcinization could allow him to recover. Kennedy stayed by his side for days, sleeping in place. One night, disappointed by the outlook of his cards again, Kennedy threw the deck towards the wall, cards aflutter in every which way, and slept with his head in his hands. When he awoke, his husband was nowhere to be found, the deck neatly stacked before him.

Only his closest friends know for certain if Terry is really in there, a soul suffused in seventy eight slivers by the grace of the Olde One. Perhaps the ritual of drawing a hand at every opportunity makes him feel close. Perhaps. Either way, the deck is likely Kennedy's most prized possession, and he consults it at every opportunity, earning 'tarot' as his officially reported pre-game ritual. He still draws the Tower every time, but not when he thinks of him.

Fan Art