Yurts Trunbo

Yurts Trunbo is the groundskeeper of the Crabitat, the ballpark of the Baltimore Crabs.

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The Groundskeeper

Yurts lives in a back room of The Crabitat alongside his uncountable herd of pet pea crabs. Every morning he takes his crabs on a walk during which they repair any damage and restore the stadium to the standard that fans have come to expect. The Pea crabs carefully cut each blade of grass one at a time in the stadium how Yurts Trunbo likes it, sometimes they make zen garden designs in the grass to enhance the experience for fans and players alike.

Yurts's name is itself a sentient entity, coincidentally also named Yurts Trunbo (i.e. Yurts Trunbo's name's name is also Yurts Trunbo). This initially created some awkwardness for the groundskeeper Yurts, whose expression of identity had formed its own nested unique identity, but it seems Yurts and his identity have formed an amicable relationship as of Season 6. Yurtses' nature often leads to those who learn the groundskeeper's name to babble "Yurts Trunbo" in various unrelated contexts as they attempt to converse with the abstract being that is Yurts Trunbo's name.

Yurts Trunbo's name's name is named Phillip.

Appearance

There are several conflicting reports of Trunbo’s appearance, so rather then try to discern which is correct, we have gathered them here for you to come to that conclusion yourself:

• Yurts Trunbo is actually just an extension of the colony of pea crabs, and hides this using the old “30 crabs in a trenchcoat” trick.
• Yurts Trunbo is a moderately large spider crab, who uses their many long limbs to hold the leashes of many, much smaller, pea crabs.
• Yurts Trunbo is an elderly Finnish man with a very large beard who is inexplicably extremely good at communicating with pea crabs.

Memorials

In addition to maintaining the grounds of the Crabitat, Yurts has another less discussed role on the Crabs support staff. On a partially submerged section of the stands there is a very old and very large oyster that lives there year round, since it is very difficult and somewhat impractical to vacate your seat when you are a very old and very large oyster.

This oyster is also able to take the remains of incinerated players and use them to create several small pearls that can be carried as a keepsake. The pearls are completely immune to incineration due to their nature and often a way to mourn and honour someone to take on a pearl that they held onto because of someone they missed. This is considered to be a privilege reserved for players and staff, however a beloved member of the community may also be accepted to be memorialized in such a way.

As for who actually receives such pearls, Yurts acts as the keeper of both the Oyster itself, and of the process of making or requesting pearls. While any incinerated player, or former player, for the Crabs will have at least a portion of their ashes used in such a way, there are very few people who will receive a pearl to commemorate their fallen comrade. While it is not public knowledge who has pearls get each player, it is thought that:

• Nora Perez’s pearls were distributed to Combs Duende, Forrest Best, and Kennedy Loser.
  • Tillman Henderson requested one, but was turned down.
    • Upon Combs’ incineration, Nora’s pearl was actually passed on to Tillman.

• Combs Duende’s pearls were distributed to Kennedy Loser, Sutton Dreamy, Valentine Games, Forrest Best, Mickey Woods, and Beck Whitney.
  • Tillman Henderson requested one, but was turned down.
  • Sutton Dreamy received many of Combs’ pearls to use in a commemorative mosaic that she completed in Combs’ honour.

• Tillman Henderson’s pearls were distributed to Kennedy Loser, Adalberto Tosser, Forrest Best, and Declan Suzanne.
  • Upon his return, Tillman Henderson requested one of his own pearls, but was turned down.

• Yurts allegedly has one of every pearl that has been made, including one from the Olde One herself that is occasionally used by the Clawricle to look into the future.

Assistants

The Crabitat is a large and unruly stadium, and as such Yurts does not go about his tasks alone. There are several well known figures within the stadium that also participate in it’s daily maintenance.

The Pea Crabs

Yurts’ pet pea crabs are actually a fairy advanced, if very small, colony ofpea crabs that have built a small underground city called "Crabville" under the stadium. They have been known to communication both with themselves, and with outsiders though complicated and intricate dances with their pincers, though with their tiny pincers and somewhat scattered movements, they are mostly described as “clumsy and adorable”

Reportedly, despite their tiny cute exterior, the pea crabs have a complex society with what is described as “super intense interpersonal drama”. If asked, Yurts will happily explain whatever the latest gossip is amongst the pea crabs, and is Baltimore’s go-to expert on the subject. Before their transfer, Crabs player Parker Parra was known to spend hours with Yurts discussing the subject over tea.

Another Assistant

Recently Yurts has gained a new assistant groundskeeper, but unfortunately no one has been able to see or track down this mysterious assistant. This assistant joined the Crabitat some time after the second Wyatt Masoning, and notably Baltimore was the only stadium to not attune their own Wyatt Mason despite having PsychoAcoustics installed, so there has been some speculation that this assistant may be wow hey slow down there. You’re jumping to some pretty wild conclusions. Maybe skip this bit yeah? Some people have seen which way the wind is blowing and maybe don’t want to be involved in your bloodsplort, thanks. This is of course wildly unfounded.