United Seattle Garages Mascot Workers

The United Seattle Garages Mascot Workers, also known as the Seattle Garages Mascot Collective, is a union representing the Seattle Garages mascots that appear during home games at the Hotdogfingers Memorial Climate Pledge Garage and Parking Facility. Following negotiations between players and Garages management, it is also the official mascot for the Seattle Garages.

History

Following the complete rejection by Garages fans of their initial mascot, Jerry the Car, Garages management turned to its active playing roster to come up with a new mascot that would better reflect the city, the team, and their fans. Every single player in the team having pitched their own mascot, the situation quickly reached a deadlock, which was devastating for the team's morale and ability to train. With days left until the start of the regular season, an agreement was reached, letting all 13 mascots represent the Garages during home games. Following the incineration of Jaylen Hotdogfingers, mascots, players, and management agreed to a more formal process of representation, which would allow new player Derrick Krueger to pitch his mascot and have it be part of the collective. The United Seattle Garages Mascot Workers were founded, and declared the official mascot of the Seattle Garages, at the start of Season 2.

Active Members

• Fanny Flannel (submitted by Arturo Huerta) - A cut-up flannel jacket now used as a general purpose washcloth, with googly eyes.
• Freezy (submitted by Malik Destiny) - A secondary freezer with googly eyes.
• Leif (submitted by Mike Townsend) - A loaf of bread with googly eyes. Mike also submitted marketing materials and designs to rebrand the Garages as the Seattle Bread; the attempt failed, but the mascot was allowed to remain. For this reason, Leif was generally treated as lesser by the other mascots. Following Mike's career-defining performance in Season 6 and his heroic effort in the resurrection of Jaylen Hotdogfingers, Leif has received apositive reevaluations in the Collective, especially since it's "not the kind with seeds and stuff".
• Pec the Pecs (submitted by Henry Marshallow) - Henry's pectoral muscles, on which he has stuck googly eyes.
• Spencer the Semi-Sentient Superchunk Tour Poster (submitted by Greer Gwiffin) - A Superchunk poster from their 2001 tour, with googly eyes.
• Tammy Truck (Submitted by Theodore Duende) - A skateboard truck with googly eyes.
• Terry Tire (submitted by Oliver Mueller) - A pile of old tires with googly eyes.
• The Unnamed Ancient Sarcophagus (submitted by Tot Clark) - An unnamed ancient sarcophagus with googly eyes.

Retired Members

• Arthur (submitted by Bennett Browning) - An artificial Christmas tree with googly eyes.
• Casey Cat Tree (submitted by Derrick Krueger) - A heavily clawed-upon cat tree with googly eyes.
• Connie the Cone (submitted by Jaylen Hotdogfingers) - A traffic cone with googly eyes.
• Tiana Cash - Tiana Cash submitted herself as her own mascot, and stuck googly eyes to her face during other players' at-bats.
• Wally Workbench (submitted by Shaquille Torres) - A workbench with googly eyes.
• Wally Walsh the Washer/Dryer Combo (submitted by Lang Richardson) - A washer/dryver combo unit with googly eyes.
• Carrie T (submitted by Ron Monstera) - A broken down CRT television with googly eyes.
• Rolly Rower (submitted by Luis Acevedo) - An old rowing machine covered in dust, with googly eyes.
• Annie Amp (submitted by Avila Guzman)- A Vox AC30 Amp with googly eyes.
• Hubcap Hank (submitted by Cedric Spliff) - A stolen hubcap from a 1970 Volvo P1800 with googly eyes.
• Seamus the Box of Small Press Comics (submitted by Allison Abbott) - A short box of limited run small press comics with googly eyes.