Oliver Notarobot

Oliver Notarobot
Notarobot as of Season 3, by Sar
Basic Information
Team	Seattle Garages
Former Team(s)	Canada Moist Talkers, Baltimore Crabs
Status	Active
Batting
Pitching
Defense
Running
Modifications	AlternateThis Player is an Alternate... Player is replaced with an alternate reality version, stats are randomized.
External Links	Blaseball-Reference Player Changes Player Page
Personal Information
Item	None
Armor	None
Evolution	Base
Pregame Ritual	Must be last on the field
Coffee Style	Heavy Foam
Blood Type	O
Fate	68
Soulscream	AAEEUAAEEUAEXAXAEXAXAEIOAUEIOAUEI
Biographical Details
Pronouns	He/Him
Nickname(s)	Ollie, Our Beautiful Good Good Skin Boy
Species	Extremely Human
Other Background Information
Player Twitter	@OliverNotarobot

Oliver Notarobot is a lineup player for the Seattle Garages and has played for the team since Season 8. Notarobot formerly played for the Canada Moist Talkers from Season 1 to Season 2, and with the Baltimore Crabs from Season 3 to Season 7.

Official League Records

Debut

Notarobot joined the league in Season 1, playing as a pitcher for the Canada Moist Talkers.

Casualty of Defection

During the Season 2 election results, the Canada Moist Talkers were awarded the Defection blessing and gained "the best pitcher in the league," PolkaDot Patterson of the Baltimore Crabs. Notarobot was randomly selected to play for the Crabs in exchange for Patterson.

Season 4 Elections

During the Season 4 Election Results, Notarobot was swapped with an Alternate due to the Alternate Reality decree. This involved a randomization of stats, including major increases in pitching ability from to .

During the Season 4 election, Notarobot swapped positions from pitcher to lineup player as a result of the The Best Defense blessing. Notarobot has been a competent batter throughout their career so far, with a batting ability of both before and after Alternate Reality, and this swap would put Notarobot to good use.

Season 5 Elections

During the Season 5 Election Results, Notarobot received boosts in all ratings as well as a boost in baserunning as a part of the Crabs' Horde Hallucinations and Rollback Netcode blessings. This includes an increase in batting ability from to and baserunning ability from to .

Season 7 Elections

Notarobot was swapped from the Baltimore Crabs to the Seattle Garages in the Season 7 Elections, bringing Luis Acevedo to the Crabs.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

History

Oliver Notarobot (/nəʊtɑːˈrəʊbəʊ/) is a human being made of flesh. He cannot hold the ball very well with his skin claws, which are pincer-shaped like the hands of a lego man, but he tries his best, and that's all that matters in blaseball, except for winning and never, ever ███████ when ██████ ██ ████.

Early Life

Oliver Notarobot grew up in a Francophone family in Sherbrooke, Quebec, Canada. Little is known about his family, though Notarobot has described his early childhood as "both hermitic and hermetic" and his only known parent as a "disgruntled machinist who pushed me out of their human birth canal" in interviews. He studied at a real school for human children, where he learned basic life skills like arithmetic, alchemy, English, Spanish, painting, and having lungs. His time there also kindled a lifelong passion for playing Blaseball in his real, beating heart inside of his bone ribs.

Afterwards, he graduated from a real university with a degree in Blaseball Studies.

Blaseball Career

Canada Moist Talkers

For Season 1 and Season 2, Oliver Notarobot made his IBL debut playing for the Canada Moist Talkers. During his tenure with the team, Oliver became a beloved if unimpressive pitcher on the Moist Talker's rotation. When Oliver left the Moist Talkers, Water Quality Experts from the Order of Dampistry reported increases in both volume and salinity of the water in the region following his departure.

Baltimore Crabs

Following the Season 2 election, the Blaseball Gods blessed the Moist Talkers with the defection of Crabs star pitcher PolkaDot Patterson. In Patterson's place, Notarobot readied his very human lungs to go above water to join the Crabs at the Oldest Bay, where he was embraced by the Crabs fans, often affectionately referred to as "[their] beautiful good good skin boy." Oliver was sad to leave the Moist Talkers, but when asked for a comment about their new team, had this to say: "I'm just saying, the Moist Talkers stadium is not the most welcoming for robots. Theoretically speaking, of course. I am very eager to play in a stadium where my skin-seams won't get as wet." As a sign of good will, Oliver was granted a small dinghy upon his arrival to the Crabitat, which is partially submerged.

Activism

Notarobot advocates strongly for improved accessibility in Blaseball, predominantly through the removal of the Captchas all players have to solve in order to be allowed onto the pitch, something he has notably struggled with on several occasions. More controversially, he also campaigned for the de-moistening of the Moist Talkers' home field, Spittle Park, claiming that "The water might get into some important wiring or something. I don't know. It could be a health and safety hazard if we- if we ever walked back the rules on not letting androids play blaseball. If people ever wanted to do that, I mean, I don't care either way. But some people might want that. To let robots play blaseball. Maybe it'd be really good if we just gave them a chance."

During his time as a pitcher, Notarobot wore a signature pitcher's glove which featured the words "This Notamachine Kills Fascists" painted along the side. Though Notarobot was not known for his strong pitching, it may have been due to the fact that he tends to prioritize aiming at the heads of nearby authority figures over aiming towards the strike zone.

In Literature

Crabs poet Laureate Runolfio Peeper wrote the following poem about Notarobot:

Human is as human does,
And though his manners are bizarre
The human-est that ever was
Is Oliver, Crabs pitching star

His hands appear as metal claws
Though most humanely he does pitch
He fights all fascists, and God’s laws
His personality’s no glitch

He sleeps within his dinghy dry
As any human would prefer
And none who see him can deny
His playing is quite amateur

Yet, in that word we see the truth
That sets dear Oliver apart:
Notarobot’s no Blabe Ruth
But few real humans have such heart.

Gallery

• 

  Season 2 card, by @MoistTalkers

• 

  Season 2 card (defaced), by Barnum

• 

  Season 3 card, by Sar

• 

  Ollie, Ollie, Ollie! Snip, Snip, Snip! by @crappylilcomix

• 

  On_the_Garages

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