Hewitt Best
They may have participated in the ILB Semi-Centennial. No other information is available after their entry into the Vault. Tour the collection here.
In case of incomplete records, post on the Talk page.
Hewitt Best is a lineup player for the Vault Legends, and has been with the team since the ILB Semi-Centennial. Best has played for the Kansas City Breath Mints and the Rising Stars.
Official League Records
Best joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Kansas City Breath Mints with the Return of Blaseball.
On Season β10, Day 36, Best's defensive ability was siphoned by Boston Flowers lineup player Glabe Moon in a game with Blooddrain weather.
During the Season β10 election, Best received the Repeating modification as a result of the Rogue Waves blessing.
During the Season β14 elections, Best received a combined stat change of 16.4 → 20.7 as a result of the Breath Mints' Infuse will.
On Season β15, Day 101, Best was attacked by Consumers.
On Season β16, Day 99, Best was named an MVP and gained the Ego+ modification.
On Season β17, Day 16, Best's overpowerment and ground friction were siphoned by Philly Pies pitcher Tiana Takahashi in a game with Blooddrain weather.
On Season β18, Day 31, Best siphoned some of Philly Pies lineup player Jaxon Buckley's baserunning ability in a game with Blooddrain weather.
On Season β18, Day 70, Best was incinerated and replaced by Trinity Roche.
During the ILB Semi-Centennial, Best played for the Rising Stars, until they were collected and made Legendary by the Vault Legends.
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The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
History
Comrade Best is known for their beyond-perfect anticapitalism (warning: FORBIDDEN KNOWLEDGE) score.
Unbeknownst to anyone, Comrade Best is sometimes a human mech piloted by 5 Teen Hermit Crabs, who combine together to form the shape of Hewitt Best. However, sometimes Hewitt Best is simply a loving comrade who helped a group of hermit crabs form a union once. It is impossible to tell which version of Best is the correct one, but in both, they are filled with love, and the determination to unite the workers of the world.
Best prefers "Moskau" by Dschinghis Khan or "Crab Rave" by Noisestorm for their walk-up music. ☭
Second Job
Best generally has a lower batting average than other players. This is because he spends the majority of his time and energy off the field in Max Betmint's office, operating as union rep for the team.
A transcript from a recent visit:
Max Betmint: "Ah geez, this commie guy again. I told ya, youz guyz can get your cumulative breaks for the decade at the END of yer contract."
Hewett Best ☭: "No Max. We are here to talk about teeth. Oscar says you haven't approved any of the dental claims we've submitted."
Betmint: "Ah, come on, yer bustin' my blalls. We don’t have the budget fer teeth. You know how much a horse dennis gonna cost me? A flippin' MINT."
[An uncomfortable pause where a rimshot should be.]
Betmint, accent degrading: "Besides, whadda youz gonna do about it? Picket an empty field?"
Best: "No. The gift shop."
[There is another long and awkward pause. Betmint squirms uncomfortably in his leather chair, making rumpling and squeaking noises on the leather.]
Best: "Max, don't make us start chanting. We're very good at it... Here, we'll make up one right now: 'Teeth are good, teeth are great, fix our teeth or we don't play.'"
Betmint: "'Great' don't rhyme wit' 'play'!"
Best, tapping his bat on the desk: "Doesn't have to, Max. Doesn't have to."
Betmint: "FINE! I'll pay for da horse, but Oscar has to do her teeth too. Now make like a tree and geddouddahere!"
[Lenny Spruce reluctantly leaves the room, followed by Best closing the door behind them.]
Betmint, yelling at the shut door: "And dat Filly's E-R-A bedda improve before she even TINKS aboud no I-R-A!"
Chants
- Best is Best!
- Best on base! (when about to steal)
- Hewitt, Hewitt, he can do it! He stole the base and blew right through it!
- Let’s get some pep for our union rep!
- Hewitt Best is my very Best comrade, reply if Hewitt Best is your very Best comrade also
- Do it for Hewitt! (memorial)
Fan Works
Gallery
Hewitt Best by @wjstay_
Comrade Best by @goatedtoasts
Hewitt by @goatedtoasts
CRIMES by @goatedtoasts
Hewitt by @wateratmyshow
Hewitt and Mooney II by @wateratmyshow
Hewitt Best by @8loi88
Hewitt by @goatedtoasts
Helga and Hewitt Death Mints Masks by @StationFaerie
Helga, Hewitt, and Pudge by @goatedtoasts
Hewitt and PDZ by @goatedtoasts
Hewitt by @goatedtoasts
Hewitt Best by @prinnamon
Death Mints Hewitt by @goatedtoasts
Mint Parade Hewitt by @goatedtoasts
Hewitt Best by @goatedtoasts
Hewitt and Yeong-Ho Garcia by @goatedtoasts
Hewitt Best by @jennayow
Hewitt and Yeong-Ho Garcia by @dipppitydoop
Hewitt by @wateratmyshow
Hewitt by @wateratmyshow
Comrade Best by @CarterRouth
5 Star Best by @goatedtoasts
Reverb at The Meadow by @fraymyst (@epipencils)
Hewitt Observed by @fraymyst (@epipencils)
Consumers Attack by @goatedtoasts
Crime Time by @CarterRouth
Mini-Blaseballer by @HetreaSky
Hewitt Best and Forrest Best by @gaymaul
Vault Legend Hewitt by Numbersninja
Vaulted Hewitt and PDZ by Numbersninja
Leach, Hewitt, and Rodriguez by Numbersninja
Hewitt Best by glassgoblin
Hewitt and Yeong-Ho Garcia by @gaymaul
Hewitt and Marco Stink by @gaymaul
Hewitt by @gaymaul
Yeong-Ho Garcia, Hewitt Best, and Marco Stink by @gaymaul
- Lineup Players
- Players with the Legendary modification
- Players with the Repeating modification
- Players with the Returned modification
- Former Kansas City Breath Mints Players
- Former Rising Stars Players
- Preserved
- Original Players
- Players
- Incinerated Players
- Hall Of Fame Inductees
- Hall Of Fame Inductees For Discipline or Expansion Era