Tillman Henderson

Tillman Henderson
Basic Information
Team	Charleston Shoe Thieves
Former Team(s)	Baltimore Crabs
Status	Active
Batting
Pitching
Defense
Running
Modifications	SoundproofPlayer: This Player cannot be caught in Feedback's reality flickers. Team: Players on this Team cannot be caught in Feedback's reality flickers. See also: Glossary
Dates Active	Jul 20–Oct 7, 2020; Oct 16, 2020–present
External Links	Blaseball-Reference Player Changes Player Page
Personal Information
Item	None
Armor	Noise-Cancelling Headphones
Evolution	Base
Pregame Ritual	Inventing secret handshakes
Coffee Style	Cold Brew
Blood Type	O No
Fate	70
Soulscream	AXEHOAXEHOAUOAUOUOAUOUIEAAOIEAAOI
Biographical Details
Pronouns	He/Him
Personal Relationships
Rival(s)	Everyone

Tillman Henderson is a pitcher for the Charleston Shoe Thieves. Tillman joined the team at the conclusion of the Season 10 regular season. Tillman previously played for the Baltimore Crabs.

Official League Records

Henderson joined the ILB as a member of the Baltimore Crabs at the beginning of Season 1.

During the Season 4 election, Henderson swapped positions from pitcher to lineup player as a result of the Mutual Aid blessing.

During the Season 5 election, Henderson received boosts in all ratings as well as a boost in baserunning as a part of the Crabs' Horde Hallucinations and Rollback Netcode blessings.

On Season 7, Day 74, Henderson siphoned some of Miguel James' baserunning ability.

Henderson was incinerated on Season 9, Day 64, and replaced by Silvaire Roadhouse. Tillman returned to Active status following an idol board-related feedback swap with Jaylen Hotdogfingers after the Season 10 regular season concluded.

In the Season 10 elections, Henderson received Noise-Cancelling Headphones, becoming Soundproof.

Personal Life

Tillman Henderson is the worst person in the entire splort of Blaseball with an effortless heel persona. Put simply, he sucks. Truly reprehensible. Absolute wasteman. No time for this clown.

Despite the fact that Henderson's multiple regular traffic offenses continue to be paid off by his wealthy parents, his mother, Harmony H. Henderson, did not attend his first funeral due to a scheduling conflict. Henderson never fetches his own balls and is frequently late to practice, primarily due to arguing about his height on his own Wikipedia page. Tillman is very above average height and definitely not short at all <----- this was definitely not written by Tillman. An anonymous former teammate describes Henderson as "a wellspring of insecurity."

Henderson has been regularly described as "intolerable," yet somehow, former teammate Kennedy Loser has been seen tolerating Henderson at length, and the two have matching arm tattoos. Similarly, Henderson's motorbike has a sidecar that is regularly occupied by former teammate Tot Fox. Since joining the Charleston Shoe Thieves, a second sidecar for teammate Gunther O'Brian has been attached. When asked, Henderson claims that the sidecars are employed to better allow him to "cause a fuckus with the boyz." While he is occasionally seen with teammate Stu Trololol as well, manager Cornelius Games has commented that "those two absolutely cannot be together for more than five minutes or I swear to God the insufferable aura they generate will cause a category 5 hurricane of irritation." The veracity of this claim has yet to be tested.

He is not a Baltimore native and, when playing for the Crabs, he frequently left the Crabitat while not pitching a game to vacation at his father's summer homes. This behavior did not change when he became a batter, but the commute left him much crankier. Prior to season 9, Tillman stated several times on record that he "cannot be killed" by the rogue umpires. These statements are now on record as notably false.

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In Literature

Following Henderson's incineration, Runolfio Peeper wrote "The Funeral of Tillman Henderson"

The funeral was in a local dive

The only place where Tillman wasn’t banned

He’d burnt most of his bridges while alive

Now burnt himself, the crowd was less than grand

Among those gathered, there were muttered thanks

That we were finally rid this noxious pest.

A lad stepped up, known for his youtube pranks

He was the chosen speaker, he confessed.

Turns out Tillman predicted his demise

And so prepared for us some final words.

We found the opening was no surprise:

“Hey welcome, mourners all, you lousy turds!”

“I felt this day was coming,” Tillman wrote,

“And knew I really couldn’t miss the chance.

To take a moment for a swan-song gloat.

You can’t call me a liar—check my pants!

“I bet I burnt much better than did Combs

And just like Nora, death gave me no fear.

I’m sure the Crabs will make me touching poems

From the Hall of Flame, I’ll wipe those on my rear.

“I’m getting bored of writing all this trash

Thinking of you guys all sad just makes me sick

I really wish I weren’t a pile of ash

So I could tell you all to suck my…” quick

Footsteps echoed in the hall outside

And for a long moment nobody spoke

As if in a dream Tillman hadn’t died—

That he would walk in and reveal the joke.

But it was only Tillman’s father, late,

Who shuffled in with his starched suit and stayed

Just long enough so that he could extricate

The keys to his son’s orange Escalade.

And then, with little else to say, we left,

Crab teammates held Tillman’s urn up high

Like a championship trophy, and heft

His remains to where Tillman would lie.

We laid him as he asked behind the lot

Where the city buried all its toxic waste

And then we gave some mighty spits—we thought

This gesture would be much to Tillman’s taste.

As we walked away we sang a cheery tune,

To honor what from Tillman we had learned:

That death comes unexpected and too soon,

And life is best enjoyed before we’re burned.

A Selection of Tillman Henderson's Character Traits

Tillman Henderson and Kennedy Loser have matching tattoos that say TILLMAN and HENDERSON and Tillman and Declan Suzanne have matching tattoos that say DECLAN and SUZANNE.

(To see a new character trait, refresh the page.)

_{Edit History}

• _{Last edited by 69HendersonHater69 on 8/4/2020}
• _{Edited by CrabsLoreBard on 8/4/2020 (Comment: i give up)}
• _{Edited by 69HendersonHater69 on 8/4/2020}
• _{Edited by CrabsLoreBard on 8/2/2020 (Comment: STOP VANDALIZING THIS PAGE)}
• _{Edited by TillmanSux87 on 8/1/2020}
• _{Edited by CrabsLoreBard on 7/31/2020 (Comment: Banned)}
• _{Edited by SteakNShake on 7/30/2020 (Comment: hahahaha screw tillman)}
• _{Page created by CrabsLoreBard on 7/20/2020}

Fan Art

• 

  By @corpserevivers

• 

  Mini-Blaseballer by @HetreaSky

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  By @glassgoblin

• 

  By @glassgoblin

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