Randall Marijuana Memorial Cat Café

From Blaseball Wiki

Revision as of 22:14, 9 March 2022 by Lonestarlars (talk | contribs) (formatting)

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
Sunbeams players Hahn Fox and Nagomi Nava at the cat café.
Hahn Fox and Nagomi Nava at the cat café. By @larkiiiine

The Randall Marijuana Memorial Cat Café was built to house Randall Marijuana's "singular" cat after his feedback to Breckenridge and subsequent incineration. Originally run by Alaynabella Hollywood, Nagomi Nava took over most duties, with additional assistance from Hahn Fox after Hollywood's transfer to the Boston Flowers.

As the safest and, as some customers have described, "mellowest" place in Hellmouth, it is also a popular place for fans and members of the Hellmouth Sunbeams to gather. On display within the Minecraft-themed café is Marijuana’s collection of Bionicle figures.

Cats currently available to meet at the café include Salamancer, Holly, and Riddle. Following the Season 10 postseason and the blossoming "Hellennials" anti-rivalry, lucky visitors may also spot Millie the Bodega Cat worming her way across the café, in and out through a pair of cat flaps which mysteriously appeared on the skirting boards near the start of Season 11.

Randall Marijuana's Cat

Randy's Cat Café is actually home to several cats, but Randy was too stoned to realize it. If you would like to see a list of all cats in the café, or give a new cat a home in the Café, click Randy's Cat Café. If you would like to edit this cat, click C-Vincent the Unknowable. This system is based on the Interdimensional Rumor Mill, which can be read all about at Interdimensional Rumor Mill.

Vincent the Unknowable

Vincent the Unknowable appears to be a large, colorful, two-dimensional tiger that prowls around the house of Randall Marijuana, and good-naturedly allows itself to be referred to as Randall Marijuana's cat. Randall Marijuana claims that Vincent appeared one day as he was watching tv, and leapt out of the screen as an advertisement for Hades Tigers branded Cereal was playing. When asked to confirm or deny the story, Vincent replied, "Well, if I told you, I wouldn't be very unknowable, would I? Now, now, don't look so cross. I'll let you believe whatever you like. I'm not a fan of the cereal, though. Didn't have very many marshmallows, it's no wonder why it was discontinued."

Controversy

The existence of Vincent the Unknowable is hotly debated among other residents of the Hellmouth, many of whom claim that Vincent is not in fact a living two-dimensional tiger, but merely a large picture of a tiger that Randall, in a drug-addled state, frequently confuses for an actual cat. A few households nearby the home of Randall use Vincent as a sort of "boogeyman" to frighten their children into good behavior. When asked about the nature of its existence, Vincent was quoted as saying, "Why should that bother me? If I didn't believe in you, would you fail to exist? Or if I did believe, would it make you more real than you already are? Everything is exactly as it should be, and nothing you say or do, nothing anyone says or does, can change that." Vincent was then reported as licking its paw and grooming its own ears. When pressed for further comment, Vincent was said to "glance at us, flick its tail irritably, and continue to talk about cereal for an uninterrupted four and a half hours."