Randall Marijuana Memorial Cat Café

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Hahn Fox and Nagomi Nava at the cat café. By larkine

The Randall Marijuana Memorial Cat Café was built to house Randall Marijuana's "singular" cat after his feedback to Breckenridge and subsequent incineration. Originally run by Alaynabella Hollywood, Nagomi Nava took over most duties, with additional assistance from Hahn Fox after Hollywood's transfer to the Boston Flowers.

As the safest and, as some customers have described, "mellowest" place in Hellmouth, it is also a popular place for fans and members of the Hellmouth Sunbeams to gather. On display within the Minecraft-themed café is Marijuana’s collection of Bionicle figures.

Cats currently available to meet at the café include Snugglewumps, Asparagus, and Grant Hayden. Following the Season β10 postseason and the blossoming "Hellennials" anti-rivalry, lucky visitors may also spot Millie the Bodega Cat worming her way across the café, in and out through a pair of cat flaps which mysteriously appeared on the skirting boards near the start of Season β11.

Randall Marijuana's Cat

Randy's Cat Café is actually home to several cats, but Randy was too stoned to realize it. If you would like to see a list of all cats in the café, or give a new cat a home in the Café, click Randy's Cat Café. If you would like to edit this cat, click C-Hype Train. This system is based on the Interdimensional Rumor Mill, which can be read all about at Interdimensional Rumor Mill.

Hype Train

Not to be confused with the Expansion-Era League Modification Hype Train.

Hype Train, two weeks old and already experiencing her first existential crisis.

Alas, poor Hype Train! a feline
of expression so infinitely bereft, of most unfathomable woe: she hath
flopped 'pon on her peets a handful of times; and now, how
abhorred in her imagination it is! her gorge rims at
it. There sits those 'bix that she has nibbled I know
not how oft.

Hype Train is a teeny-tiny tabby. She arrived one sunny Siesta day in the Cáfe with her siblings Elsewhere, Vibes, Polarity, Immateria and Grind Rail. She is fondly referred to as "Hellmouth's most mournful little kitten", possessing a seemingly unfathomable world-weariness. Due to her (alleged) fondness for being soliloquized at, Hype Train is a personal favorite of notable thespian Dunlap Figueroa.