Difference between revisions of "Pitching Machine"

Revision as of 23:27, 6 November 2020

Pitching Machine

Mini-Blaseballer by @HetreaSky

Basic Information

Team

Seattle Garages

Former Team(s)

Unlimited Tacos, THE SHELLED ONE'S PODS

Status

Active

Batting

Pitching

Defense

Running

Modifications

Honey Roasted

Dates Active

Sep 21, 2020–present

External Links

Blaseball-Reference
Player Changes
Player Page

Personal Information

Item

None

Armor

None

Evolution

Base

Pregame Ritual

LARPing

Coffee Style

Macchiato

Blood Type

Fire

Fate

71

Soulscream

OIEOAOIEOAOUUAAXUUAAXUOAAEUOAAEUOIAAUAIAAUAIHIAOEHIAOEHAAIEEAAIEEA

Biographical Details

Pronouns

it/it

Personal Relationships

Partners

Ortiz Lopez

Pitching Machine is a pitcher for the Seattle Garages and has been with the team since the Season 10 elections. Machine has previously played for the Unlimited Tacos and THE SHELLED ONE'S PODS.

Official League Records

Machine joined the league on Season 8, Day 1, as a pitcher for the Unlimited Tacos. Due to the fan-organized Snackrifice, all of the previous pitchers on the Tacos were Shelled, therefore preventing them from participating in regular play. At the start of Season 8, Machine was added to the pitching rotation as the only pitcher on the team capable of performing the role. Machine pitched every active game until Sexton Wheerer was deshelled by the birds.

At the end of the regular season, Machine was in the first position on the idol leaderboard, and as such, got the modification Shelled.

On Season 9, Day X, Machine was conscripted to THE SHELLED ONE'S PODS as a lineup player. Following the dispersal of the PODS during the Season 10 elections, Machine joined the Seattle Garages as a pitcher.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Aftermarket Upgrades

During Season 8, in its third game against the Baltimore Crabs, Tacos hitter Vito Kravitz "upgraded" Pitching Machine with a number of accessories including a bayonet and a laser sight. This had the unfortunate consequence of allowing the opposing batters to see exactly where the ball was aimed. The Crabs scored 8 runs before teammate Mcdowell Mason removed the laser sight.

The bayonet was not removed.

Media Relations

Attempts to interview Pitching Machine have so far been unsuccessful. Machine has never responded to journalists' questions at press conferences, and teammates say that it is stoic in the dugout as well. However, it is well documented that reporters who objectify it as "the" or "a" pitching machine must duck to avoid a barrage of blaseballs being hurled their way.

Relationships

Pitching Machine has what some fans would call a relationship with Ortiz Lopez, although it's still unclear if it's all just coincidence Ms. Lopez has attributed meaning to or if the feelings are reciprocated. The relationship was the basis for the first entry in a book series by famous author Chulck Tangle.

Pitching Machine also appears to have a close relationship with Oliver Notarobot, the two having inspired one another in various ways. Notarobot assisted in applying the "This Machine Kills Fascists" sticker to the side of it when it joined the league, and Pitching Machine was reportedly the reason Notarobot decided to tell the league of his android nature.

Arrival to the Garages

After the aftermath of the great Unshelling, the Garages did not expect Pitching Machine to come crashing through the roof of the Big Garage onto the field. As Oliver Notarobot began assisting in reassembling it, it suddenly flickered from pitching machine form to that of an android. Since then, Pitching Machine has been observed to change between various forms at random. The Garages members seem unphased by this, assuming it has something to do with it being from Los Angeli. A few things remain consistent throughout the iterations:

-Pitching Machine remembers everything that has happened to its previous iterations.

-Pitching Machine is always a pitcher.

Err: Missing Format Argument

This IRM is missing a valid format argument. Please set format to filebox, dimensions, concept, vignette, lens, replica, or summary in the template call. If this IRM previously contained rumors they can be viewed in the Rumor Registry. Please propose a format on the Talk page.

,

Fan Art

Mini-Blaseballer by @HetreaSky
Made by Athunin#6908 on Discord.
Pitching Machine by DonnFirinne on Discord
Unlimited Blaseballs
Pitching Machine by @Fancymancer
Pitching Machine by @Fancymancer
Pitching Machine by @Fancymancer
Pitching Machine's Sticker Collection w\contributions from the entire league maintained by DeeJayRingis
Pixel Pitching Machine by @danglebob
Pitching Machine is super effective by @danglebob

@@ Line 51: / Line 51: @@
 == Media Relations ==
 Attempts to interview Pitching Machine have so far been unsuccessful. Machine has never responded to journalists' questions at press conferences, and teammates say that it is stoic in the dugout as well. However, it is well documented that reporters who objectify it as "the" or "a" pitching machine must duck to avoid a barrage of blaseballs being hurled their way.
-<br />
+== Relationships ==
-<br />
+Pitching Machine has what some fans would call a relationship with [[Ortiz Lopez#Relationships|Ortiz Lopez]], although it's still unclear if it's all just coincidence Ms. Lopez has attributed meaning to or if the feelings are reciprocated. The relationship was the basis for the first entry in a book series by famous author [[Chulck Tangle]].
-== <big>Personhood</big> ==
-Pitching Machine is '''not''' a bee.
-Pitching Machine is '''not''' able to manifest a blade that can kill the greatest of demons.
-Pitching Machine is '''not''' able to fall in love on a Saturday evening after a moonlit dinner.
-Pitching Machine is '''not''' from Los Angeli #3345672 - never been there.
-Pitching Machine’s spirit is '''not''' evil.
-Pitching Machine is '''not''' haunted by a spirit in any way.
+Pitching Machine also appears to have a close relationship with [[Oliver Notarobot]], the two having inspired one another in various ways. Notarobot assisted in applying the "This Machine Kills Fascists" sticker to the side of it when it joined the league, and Pitching Machine was reportedly the reason Notarobot decided to tell the league of his [[Oliver Notarobot#Launch Day|android nature]].
-Pitching Machine is '''not''' moving the lens on the Ouija board.
+== Arrival to the Garages ==
+After the aftermath of the great Unshelling, the Garages did not expect Pitching Machine to come crashing through the roof of the [[Hotdogfingers Memorial Climate Pledge Garage and Parking Facility|Big Garage]] onto the field. As [[Oliver Notarobot]] began assisting in reassembling it, it suddenly flickered from pitching machine form to that of an android. Since then, Pitching Machine has been observed to change between various forms at random. The Garages members seem unphased by this, assuming it has something to do with it being from Los Angeli. A few things remain consistent throughout the iterations:
-Pitching Machine is '''not''' and can not be a scab.
+-Pitching Machine remembers everything that has happened to its previous iterations.
-Pitching Machine's teammates do '''not''' believe it is alive (exception: [[NaN]]).
+-Pitching Machine is always a pitcher.
-Pitcher Machine was '''not''' purchased by the ILB, rather [[Wyatt Quitter]] and [[NaN]] from Godwill, after Al Pastor requested a pitching machine for better practice sessions when Tacos pitchers had very few stars.
+{{IRM|PlayerName=Pitching Machine|intro=After joining the Garages, Pitching Machine began changing forms at random. The IRM randomly chooses one reported form of many written by the Blaseball community when the page is loaded.|title=Reported Forms|banner=The various forms Pitching Machine has taken is listed below.}}
-Pitching Machine is '''not''' not normal.
-Pitching Machine did '''not''' witness the fall of the Roman Empire.
-Pitching Machine is '''not''' a union member but was made by a unionized workplace.
-Pitching Machine is '''not''' you.
-Pitching Machine is '''not''' anti-capitalist, but it is learning.
-Pitching Machine '''cannot''' learn.
-Pitching Machine '''cannot''' follow your scent.
-Pitching Machine '''cannot''' be snuck up on, because it has a knife.
-Pitching Machine is '''not''' right behind you. Do '''not''' look behind you.
-Pitching Machine is '''not''' a sphere.
-Pitching Machine is '''not''' to be confused with the tacotron voice synthesis AI.
-Pitching Machine did '''not''' write this.
-<s>Pitching Machine is '''not''' telling the truth.</s>
-Pitching Machine is single and '''not''' down to mingle
-Pitching Machine is '''not''' enemies with NaN.
-Pitching Machine is '''not not''' a certified chiropractor.
-Pitching Machine does '''not''' follow Asimov's Laws of Robotics.
-Pitching machine '''cannot''' be convicted of manslaughter or any other related crimes.
-Pitching Machine is '''not''' not doing a great job.
-Pitching Machine is '''not''' capable of acting as a different machine without significant modification, i.e. a T-Shirt Cannon.
-Pitching Machine is '''not''' capable of launching a 91kg object over the distance of 301 meters.
-Pitching Machine does '''not''' have Blluetooth compatibility and is '''not'''backed up by the Clloud.
-Pitching Machine is '''not''' delivery, it's Dligiornio.
-Pitching Machine does '''not''' tell us where the blood goes.
-Pitching Machine does '''not''' obey the Gods.
-Pitching Machine is '''not''' amused.
-Pitching Machine did '''not''' ask for this.
-Pitching Machine does '''not''' know mercy.
-== Relationships ==
-Pitching Machine has what some fans would call a relationship with [[Ortiz Lopez#Relationships|Ortiz Lopez]], although it's still unclear if it's all just coincidence Ms. Lopez has attributed meaning to or if the feelings are reciprocated. The relationship was the basis for the first entry in a book series by famous author [[Chulck Tangle]].
 == Fan Art ==

Seattle Garages 🎸
Players	Batters	Mindy Rahman Sheev Shriffle Deion Gamage Susan Witherspoon Josephine Aster Jesús Rodriguez Henry Marshallow Hendricks Richardson
	Pitchers	Seren Moss Brisket Friendo Baby Triumphant Rivers Clembons Timmy Vine
	Shadows	Chambers Simmons
	Buried	Jasper Destiny · Rigby Friedrich · Chandra Blortles · Pedro Davids
	Former	Lenny Marijuana (➡️) Parker MacMillan (➡️) Mike Townsend (🔳) Oliver Mueller (🔳) Castillo Turner (➡️) · Full List
Stats	NEW Seasons	1 · 2
Stats	Beta Seasons	β1 · β2 · β3 · β4 · β5 · β6 · β7 · β8 · β9 · β10 · β11 · β12 · β13 · β14 · β15 · β16 · β17 · β18 · β19 · β20 · β21 · β22 · β23 · β24
Ballpark	The Hotdogfingers Memorial Climate Pledge Garage and Parking Facility
Community Lore
Community	United Seattle Garages Mascot Workers · Seattle Garages Stadium and Training Volunteers · Seattle Garages Lil' Roadies
Places	Dark Seattle · Seattle Gum Wall · Ron Monstera Memorial Cat Cafe and Sanctuary · Seattle Shadows Co-op
History	Seattle Garages's History · Jamazon · Dark Seattle Corporates · Operation DEBT Collection
Fan Culture 📣 · Fan Works 💌 · Tlopps Cards 🃏
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