Difference between revisions of "Goobie Ballson"

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| dates=Sep 22, 2020–June 28, 2021 <!-- IRL dates active (ex. Jul 20 - Aug 31, 2020) -->
 
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'''{{PAGENAME}}''' was a lineup player for the [[LA Unlimited Tacos]] and was with the team from the [[Season 21#Election%20Results|Season 21 elections]] until being [[Incineration|incinerated]] on [[Season 22]], Day 9. Ballson had previously played for the [[Chicago Firefighters]], [[Canada Moist Talkers]], [[Tokyo Lift]], and [[Atlantis Georgias]].
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'''{{PAGENAME}}''' was a lineup player for the [[LA Unlimited Tacos]] and was with the team from the {{BetaSeason|21#Election%20Results|@ elections}} until being [[Incineration|incinerated]] on {{BetaSeason|22}}, Day 9. Ballson had previously played for the [[Chicago Firefighters]], [[Canada Moist Talkers]], [[Tokyo Lift]], and [[Atlantis Georgias]].
  
 
==Official League Records==
 
==Official League Records==
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Ballson joined the [[ILB]] as a lineup player for the [[Chicago Firefighters]] on [[Season 8]], Day 36 after the [[incineration]] of [[José Haley]].
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Ballson joined the [[ILB]] as a lineup player for the [[Chicago Firefighters]] on {{BetaSeason|8}}, Day 36 after the [[incineration]] of [[José Haley]].
  
 
During the [[Coffee Cup]], Ballson played for [[Club de Calf]] as a lineup player.
 
During the [[Coffee Cup]], Ballson played for [[Club de Calf]] as a lineup player.
  
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Ballson was traded to the [[Canada Moist Talkers]] in exchange for [[Carmelo Plums]] during the [[Season 17#Election Results|Season 17 elections]] via the Moist Talkers' [[Season 17#Wills|'''Equivalent Exchange''']] will, becoming a pitcher in the process.
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Ballson was traded to the [[Canada Moist Talkers]] in exchange for [[Carmelo Plums]] during the {{BetaSeason|17#Election Results|@ elections}} via the Moist Talkers' {{BetaSeason|17#Wills|'''Equivalent Exchange'''}} will, becoming a pitcher in the process.
  
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On [[Season 18]], Day 72, Ballson retreated to the Moist Talkers' [[Shadows]] in exchange for [[Augusto Reddick]] via [[Gleek Arena]]'s {{ModLink|Fax Machine}}.
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On {{BetaSeason|18}}, Day 72, Ballson retreated to the Moist Talkers' [[Shadows]] in exchange for [[Augusto Reddick]] via [[Gleek Arena]]'s {{ModLink|Fax Machine}}.
  
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On [[Season 19]], Day 94, Ballson joined the Moist Talkers' active roster in exchange for [[Amos Melon]] via Gleek Arena's '''Fax Machine'''.
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On {{BetaSeason|19}}, Day 94, Ballson joined the Moist Talkers' active roster in exchange for [[Amos Melon]] via Gleek Arena's '''Fax Machine'''.
  
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Ballson was traded to the [[Tokyo Lift]] in exchange for [[Cudi Di Batterino]] during the [[Season 19#Election Results|Season 19 election]] via the Moist Talkers' '''[[Season 19#Wills|Equivalent Exchange]]''' will.
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Ballson was traded to the [[Tokyo Lift]] in exchange for [[Cudi Di Batterino]] during the {{BetaSeason|19#Election Results|@ election}} via the Moist Talkers' '''{{BetaSeason|19#Wills|Equivalent Exchange}}''' will.
  
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On [[Season 20]], Day 11, Ballson was exchanged to the [[Atlantis Georgias]] due to [[Feedback]]. Ballson was replaced by [[Jan Canberra]]. On Day 79, Ballson retreated to the Georgias' Shadows in exchange for [[Ankle Halifax]] as a result of the [[Atlantean Dome]]'s {{ModLink|Fax Machine}}. On Day 80, Ballson rejoined the Georgias' active roster in exchange for [[Dickerson Morse]] via the '''Fax Machine'''. On Day 86, Ballson once again retreated to the shadows in exchange for [[Nanci Grackle]] due to the '''Fax Machine'''.
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On {{BetaSeason|20}}, Day 11, Ballson was exchanged to the [[Atlantis Georgias]] due to [[Feedback]]. Ballson was replaced by [[Jan Canberra]]. On Day 79, Ballson retreated to the Georgias' Shadows in exchange for [[Ankle Halifax]] as a result of the [[Atlantean Dome]]'s {{ModLink|Fax Machine}}. On Day 80, Ballson rejoined the Georgias' active roster in exchange for [[Dickerson Morse]] via the '''Fax Machine'''. On Day 86, Ballson once again retreated to the shadows in exchange for [[Nanci Grackle]] due to the '''Fax Machine'''.
  
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On [[Season 21]], Day 31, Ballson rejoined the Georgias' pitching rotation in exchange for [[Jan Canberra]] via The Atlantean Dome's '''Fax Machine'''. On Day 79, Ballson retreated to the Georgias' Shadows in exchange for Jan Canberra once again via the '''Fax Machine'''. On Day 80, Ballson once again rejoined the rotation in exchange for [[Ortiz Lopez]] via the '''Fax Machine'''. Ballson was traded to the [[LA Unlimited Tacos]] in exchange for [[Fish Summer]] during the [[Season 21#Election%20Results|Season 21 elections]] via the Georgias' [[Season 21#Wills|'''Equivalent Exchange''']] will, becoming a lineup player in the process.
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On {{BetaSeason|21}}, Day 31, Ballson rejoined the Georgias' pitching rotation in exchange for [[Jan Canberra]] via The Atlantean Dome's '''Fax Machine'''. On Day 79, Ballson retreated to the Georgias' Shadows in exchange for Jan Canberra once again via the '''Fax Machine'''. On Day 80, Ballson once again rejoined the rotation in exchange for [[Ortiz Lopez]] via the '''Fax Machine'''. Ballson was traded to the [[LA Unlimited Tacos]] in exchange for [[Fish Summer]] during the {{BetaSeason|21#Election%20Results|@ elections}} via the Georgias' {{BetaSeason|21#Wills|'''Equivalent Exchange'''}} will, becoming a lineup player in the process.
  
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On [[Season 22]], Day 9, Ballson was [[Incineration|incinerated]] and replaced by [[Pannonica Oko]].
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On {{BetaSeason|22}}, Day 9, Ballson was [[Incineration|incinerated]] and replaced by [[Pannonica Oko]].
  
 
{{Community Lore}}
 
{{Community Lore}}
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==Biography==
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{{IRM|format=filebox}}
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Ballson is a formless and many-fold being, and every view of Ballson is true and correct. They're a good friend, they're not entirely Newtonian, and they're just happy to be here.
 
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Everyone who sees him knows instinctively that Ballson was always their friend, and he appears to unobservant bystanders as a vaguely-familiar but friendly former acquaintance or colleague. Ballson also appears as a bear, or occasionally as a gooey humanoid. Ballson likes everyone, and everyone likes Ballson.
 
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Like all of us, Ballson is from Chicago. Ballson's player number is 647.
 
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==Consistent Aura==
 
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Goobie Ballson is the most punk rock, ska punk, ready to go lookin dude you can imagine, and a fashion icon for the Firefighters as well as Chicago as a whole. They are often found in jorts, board shorts, or cargo shorts, as well as unbuttoned floral shirts or blaseball jerseys. His signature game-day outfit consists of some combination of these, as well as his iconic "Blall is Life" cap.
 
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Identifiable across forms is Ballson's WAFC tattoo. It is also important to note Ballson's emotional and cosmic connection to ska, which manifests in the majority of observed Ballsons. If ska was physical, it would be Goobie Ballson. He looks like how the song "Stupid" by Just Friends sounds. 
 
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An anonymous friend of the team, when asked to describe Ballson, referred to "his vibes" as "When you roll into a party that Goobie is at, he will greet you on sight. He gives you one of those huge hugs that make you feel like the most important person in the world. If he sees you in trouble or suffering, he'll make sure to edge out space for you and make sure you're good. He will outdrink you but won't push you. The maximum party frat dude with none of the toxicity."
 
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==History==
 
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One rumored origin of Ballson involves an accident at [[Flermilab]] in 1987 involving an unstable particle and [[Royal Crown Malort|Crown Malort]] resulted in the destruction of a lab attendant's mortal vessel. The only thing that remained was pure unfiltered Firefighters energy. This energy is known as Goobie Ballson. Ballson is theorized to be able to reform his atoms into any shape he pleases, and this is the prevailing explanation for his lack of attachment to a permanent body.
 
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Other witnesses say that Ballson went to University of Chicago and got a degree in communications before becoming a blaseball player. They watched the games every day, and when [[José Haley]] was incinerated, they immediately ran down to join the game.
 
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Ballson initially arrived at [[The Fire House]] with a 99 rack of PBR and a tattoo gun, removed from his body in a way not yet fully understood. After it was made clear that he would refuse any kind of payment, Ballson became a welcome party guest and valued teammate. During the Firefighters' occasional parties, Ballson is always the last to bed and cleans up the bottles and cans left out. After his welcome party, each Firefighters player gave him a unique tat. Before joining the Firefighters, he already had a chest tattoo that reads "live young blall hard die fast."
 
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During the matches of [[Blaseball]], Ballson can be seen with various pieces of firefighting and Blaseball gear floating within his gelatinous mass. He always seems to have whatever he needs handy inside the goop, and can be relied to provide missing objects or relevant tools with minimal intrapersonal rummaging.
 
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As a part of his contract with the [[Chicago Firefighters]], Ballson is legally required to gobble up all ground balls hit his way.
 
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==Trivia==
 
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*Ballson constitutes a one-man ska band.
 
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*Tonguewitness accounts report that his slime tastes like blue raspberry.
 
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*Ballson's favorite food is Nacho Cheese.
 
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*Like any Firefighter, Ballson's feelings towards fire are complex. He has a mild fascination with arson that has proved harmless (so far).
 
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*Goobie Ballson knows a guy.
 
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==Fan Works==
 
==Fan Works==
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File:Art by waalkr 24.png|Ever changing nightmare Goobie to match wikis artbreeder style by the firefighter discord
 
File:Art by waalkr 24.png|Ever changing nightmare Goobie to match wikis artbreeder style by the firefighter discord
 
File:Goobie.jpg|Fresh out of the egg! Hi Goobie! by [https://twitter.com/_waalkr @_waalkr]
 
File:Goobie.jpg|Fresh out of the egg! Hi Goobie! by [https://twitter.com/_waalkr @_waalkr]
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File:51GoobieBallson.png|Mini-Blaseballer by {{Twitter|name=HetreaSky}}
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File:51GoobieBallson.png|Mini-Blaseballer by [http://miniblaseball.surge.sh/ @HetreaSky]
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File:Gooey Ballson.png|Goobie by [https://twitter.com/glassgoblin/status/1357736111586607105?s=20 @glassgoblin]
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File:Gooey Ballson.png|Goobie by [https://twitter.com/glassgoblin/status/1357736111586607105 @glassgoblin]
 
File:ArtbreederGoobie.png|Goobie by LaserMessiah on Discord and [https://twitter.com/necromngo @necromngo] and Twitter via Artbreeder
 
File:ArtbreederGoobie.png|Goobie by LaserMessiah on Discord and [https://twitter.com/necromngo @necromngo] and Twitter via Artbreeder
 
File:Goobie Ballson on the Talkers.png|alt=Goobie Ballson as a blue minion|Goobie Ballson on the Canada Moist Talkers, by thevdude
 
File:Goobie Ballson on the Talkers.png|alt=Goobie Ballson as a blue minion|Goobie Ballson on the Canada Moist Talkers, by thevdude
 
File:Goobie Ballson Icon.jpg|Goobie by [https://twitter.com/MackinItHappen Nic]
 
File:Goobie Ballson Icon.jpg|Goobie by [https://twitter.com/MackinItHappen Nic]
 
File:Goobie ballson buzzardtable.png|alt=Digital drawing of Goobie, a fat blue goo person with a goo mullet. he is wearing a red beanie and a yellow t-shirt that says 'ska,' and has an anchor tattoo on one of his crossed arms. All his teams show to one side, and his positions sho won the other.|Art by [https://twitter.com/saltbuzzard @saltbuzzard]
 
File:Goobie ballson buzzardtable.png|alt=Digital drawing of Goobie, a fat blue goo person with a goo mullet. he is wearing a red beanie and a yellow t-shirt that says 'ska,' and has an anchor tattoo on one of his crossed arms. All his teams show to one side, and his positions sho won the other.|Art by [https://twitter.com/saltbuzzard @saltbuzzard]
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File:Eli Goobie.png|alt=A sketch of Goobie Ballson. He is a fat slime man in a firefighters outfit and a baseball cap that is covering his eyes. The slime he is made up of is blue and parts of him are bubbling or dripping off.|Goobie by [https://twitter.com/EliFinchs/status/1482057085424705539 Eli]
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File:Three of Pentacles 🃏 Goobie Ballson.jpg|alt=Goobie Ballson depicted in red and blue as the three of pentacles.|''Three of Pentacles''<br />by [https://twitter.com/birbteef/status/1490859898548203522 '''@birbteef''']
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File:Smokeygoobie.png|alt=A drawing of Goobie Ballson from Blaseball, He is a fat man with bear ears who is made of blue slime and his eyes are always obscured. The image is a waist up drawing of him in a Smokey the Bear “Only You Can Prevent Wildfires” pose and outfit. |Goobie promoting wildfire safety by [https://twitter.com/EliFinchs Eli]
 
</gallery>
 
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<references />
 
<references />
 
{{TeamNavSelector|tacos}}
 
{{TeamNavSelector|tacos}}

Latest revision as of 03:13, 2 February 2023

Goobie Ballson was a lineup player for the LA Unlimited Tacos and was with the team from the Season β21 elections until being incinerated on Season β22, Day 9. Ballson had previously played for the Chicago Firefighters, Canada Moist Talkers, Tokyo Lift, and Atlantis Georgias.

Official League Records

Ballson joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Chicago Firefighters on Season β8, Day 36 after the incineration of José Haley.

During the Coffee Cup, Ballson played for Club de Calf as a lineup player.

Ballson was traded to the Canada Moist Talkers in exchange for Carmelo Plums during the Season β17 elections via the Moist Talkers' Equivalent Exchange will, becoming a pitcher in the process.

On Season β18, Day 72, Ballson retreated to the Moist Talkers' Shadows in exchange for Augusto Reddick via Gleek Arena's Fax Machine.

On Season β19, Day 94, Ballson joined the Moist Talkers' active roster in exchange for Amos Melon via Gleek Arena's Fax Machine.

Ballson was traded to the Tokyo Lift in exchange for Cudi Di Batterino during the Season β19 election via the Moist Talkers' Equivalent Exchange will.

On Season β20, Day 11, Ballson was exchanged to the Atlantis Georgias due to Feedback. Ballson was replaced by Jan Canberra. On Day 79, Ballson retreated to the Georgias' Shadows in exchange for Ankle Halifax as a result of the Atlantean Dome's Fax Machine. On Day 80, Ballson rejoined the Georgias' active roster in exchange for Dickerson Morse via the Fax Machine. On Day 86, Ballson once again retreated to the shadows in exchange for Nanci Grackle due to the Fax Machine.

On Season β21, Day 31, Ballson rejoined the Georgias' pitching rotation in exchange for Jan Canberra via The Atlantean Dome's Fax Machine. On Day 79, Ballson retreated to the Georgias' Shadows in exchange for Jan Canberra once again via the Fax Machine. On Day 80, Ballson once again rejoined the rotation in exchange for Ortiz Lopez via the Fax Machine. Ballson was traded to the LA Unlimited Tacos in exchange for Fish Summer during the Season β21 elections via the Georgias' Equivalent Exchange will, becoming a lineup player in the process.

On Season β22, Day 9, Ballson was incinerated and replaced by Pannonica Oko.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Box of Goobie Ballson Files

Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-1667 and start reading...

AVAST!
The waters beyond this point are uncharted, tales from distant shores echoed back into our reality.

Background

The following information was uncovered, documented, and annotated by Lance Serotonin, researcher at The Atlantean Facility for Interdimensional Studies and Hypotheses, as part of an ongoing research project into the history of the Tokyo Adrift.

With the Tokyo Adrift

Goobie Ballson appears in tales of the Tokyo Adrift as a large sentient bubble in the sea of Immateria. Unable to break the surface but desperate for conversation and companionship, the buoyant Ballson was drawn to the wreck-divers of the Adrift. Their warm personality and oxygen-rich interior soon made them an important part of the operation.

In the years before breathing apparatus, Ballson offered access to greater depths than simple free-diving would allow. The most sustained discussion of Ballson is in connection with acting captain Lance Serotonin and his plan to retrieve an unnamed artefact long presumed beyond salvagers’ reach. The outcome of his attempt is not known and no later mention of him has been found in any extant manuscript, nor has he been seen by A.F.I.S.H. researchers.

Controversy

While Ballson’s depiction is persuasively consistent from text to text - a self-sustaining, mobile air pocket with a goofy grin and a lingering scent of berries - there is still some debate over their true nature. A minority of historians[who?] maintain that “Goobie Ballson” is merely a playful reference to a diving bell, and that the ascription of character traits to this object was a ship-wide running joke. Even if the so-called Bellists were correct, the device could not have been wholly reliable. The name appears in the logs of several other vessels, often just before some calamity costs them one or more shipmates.

The diving-bell theory has dwindling support. Complete consensus in contemporary sources is rare, yet we have more than a dozen independent descriptions of Goobie being an awesome friend, inventing board shorts and playing ska-hornpipe hits on the hurdy-gurdy. Ballson’s time with the Adrift does not seem to correlate with any timeframe yet observed in A.F.I.S.H, so definitive conclusions one way or the other are impossible.


Fan Works

  • gif by Rusty Fnord on Discord

  • Goobie is a friend of all! by @_waalkr

  • One of Socks' favorites by @_waalkr

  • Soft Goobie! by @_waalkr

  • Goobie visits local knitting circle by @_waalkr

  • Ever changing nightmare Goobie to match wikis artbreeder style by the firefighter discord

  • Fresh out of the egg! Hi Goobie! by @_waalkr

  • Mini-Blaseballer by @HetreaSky

  • Goobie by @glassgoblin

  • Goobie by LaserMessiah on Discord and @necromngo and Twitter via Artbreeder

  • Goobie Ballson as a blue minion

    Goobie Ballson on the Canada Moist Talkers, by thevdude

  • Goobie by Nic

  • Digital drawing of Goobie, a fat blue goo person with a goo mullet. he is wearing a red beanie and a yellow t-shirt that says 'ska,' and has an anchor tattoo on one of his crossed arms. All his teams show to one side, and his positions sho won the other.

    Art by @saltbuzzard

  • A sketch of Goobie Ballson. He is a fat slime man in a firefighters outfit and a baseball cap that is covering his eyes. The slime he is made up of is blue and parts of him are bubbling or dripping off.

    Goobie by Eli

  • Goobie Ballson depicted in red and blue as the three of pentacles.

    Three of Pentacles
    by @birbteef

  • A drawing of Goobie Ballson from Blaseball, He is a fat man with bear ears who is made of blue slime and his eyes are always obscured. The image is a waist up drawing of him in a Smokey the Bear “Only You Can Prevent Wildfires” pose and outfit.

    Goobie promoting wildfire safety by Eli


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