Nanci Grackle

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Nanci Grackle is a player for the Houston Spies, and has been with the team since Fall Ball. Grackle has previously played for the Atlantis Georgias.

Official League Records

Grackle joined the ILB as a player in the Shadows for the Atlantis Georgias during the Descension.

On Season β20, Day 86, Grackle joined the Georgias' active roster in exchange for Goobie Ballson via the Atlantean Dome's Fax Machine. During the Season β20 elections, Grackle became a lineup player in exchange for Erin Jesaulenko as a result of the Georgias' Roster Swap will.

On Season β21, Day 61, Grackle swallowed a stray peanut and had a allergic reaction, resulting in a combined 11.1 5.7 stat decrease.

On Season β22, Day 40, Grackle retreated to the Georgias' Shadows in exchange for Fish Summer at the Atlantean Dome via the Ratified Voicemail.

During the November 4, 2022 Fall Ball, Grackle fell to the Houston Spies. Grackle became a pitcher on the first day of Season 1.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Box of Nanci Grackle Files

Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-27.421 and start reading...

Personal Life

Nanci Grackle (he/him, they/them, ze/hir) is a mad ornithologist, whatever that entails, currently living in Atlantis. Grackle has been regarded as one of the most controversial members of the Georgias, with criticism being drawn towards his questionable research methods, allegations of vampirism, his unbridled support of necromancy, and his lack of Blaseball skill.

Life prior to Atlantis

When asked about life before Atlantis, Grackle usually responds with a vague "oh, you know" and a dismissive hand wave. The only clues as to their origin are ones Grackle shares in casual conversation, such as:

  • "Those look like the beetles that plagued my family’s farm for years when I was a kid, gross," About some red and black poker chips that were sitting on a table
  • "Ahh, reminds me of my teenage years," Said standing knee deep in a vat of pasta sauce
  • "You know, this is how I got into college," Said while sneaking through vents while trying to wrangle a rogue muppet

At the bare minimum, Grackle's comments seem to suggest that he is transmasculine, he is Haida, he has ADHD, and he is in his late 30s, though beyond this most of Grackle's history prior to Atlantis remains unknown.

Life in Atlantis

Grackle's history in Atlantis can be traced back to the year XXXX, when Grackle set out on a solo research expedition in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean to study various seabirds. However, in an attempt to get a closer look at a nearby flock of seagulls, he tripped over the side of his boat, falling into the sea, and eventually being taken into Atlantis. Grackle reportedly hates living in Atlantis, due to the fact there are not enough birds for him to study. Grackle has been quoted as saying "When I ask to see a parrot, they show me a parrotfish. It's disgusting."

With fewer better options, Grackle decided to take up work at the recently-established Atlantean Facility for Interdimensional Studies and Hypotheses shortly after his arrival, in order to, quote, "...learn more about the Gods so [he] could know how to smite them."

However, Grackle would become quick to receive flack from hir peers due to hir questionable qualifications and research methods. In particular, Grackle would often get into petty academic squabbles with former head of research Niq Nyong'o. Nyong'o would frequently relegate many of Grackle's outlandish suggestions to the Whiteboard of Bad Ideas, an act which would lead to many long, and frankly unproductive debates. When asked about this in an interview, Grackle was reported as saying, "Oh, they're absolutely bad ideas. I just don't want to hear it from her."

Once in a blue moon, Grackle does manage to discover or build something of note, usually due to his blind confidence and trust in the scientific method. The most recent of Grackle’s achievements include discovering the topical use of crab butter as an antitoxin to heal bites from venomous sea snakes, and a nuclear waste-powered machine that folds impeccable paper airplanes.

When asked about their lack of publications in the scientific literature, Grackle “stood abruptly, left the room, stood just beside the doorway, and screamed for 97 seconds.” When they returned they explained that they publish under a pseudonym and declined to share what the pseudonym was.

Time on the Georgias

Grackle, much like his coworkers at AFISH, would join the Atlantis Georgias in an attempt to study the Blaseball Gods to gain a deeper understanding of the splort. Grackle, however expressed little interest in actually playing Blaseball, instead opting to join the team's Shadows. Grackle, wishing for his research to go uninterrupted, claimed that he'd only join the active roster if disaster struck and his service was necessary. Grackle's coworkers would regularly joke that he would be the cause of whatever disaster put him on the roster, but whether he is aware of these jokes is unclear.

However, Grackle was not the cause of the disaster that put him on the active roster, instead exiting the Shadows via Fax Machine after Goobie Ballson gave up 10 Runs to the Hellmouth Sunbeams. Grackle's first Season in active play proved to be quite controversial, as allegations of him being a vampire spread after he drained blood from Miami Dale hitter Richmond Harrison.

When pressed about this, Grackle only gave vague non-answers, saying "Perhaps I am a vampire. Or perhaps I just wanted to know what blood tastes like. For research. I'll leave it up to you to decide which." This was followed by him laughing loudly, and refusing further follow-up on the subject. Teammates have noted that while they do suspect him of being a vampire, that this is also a very recent development.

Grackle's time in active play was cut short in Season β21, when they swallowed a stray peanut, having an allergic reaction. According to Grackle, they were simply trying to build up an immunity to peanuts, so they would not be affected in the future. While Grackle was cured of their allergy soon after, the damage had already been done. By the next Season, Grackle would retreat to the Shadows due to Voicemail, where he remains to this day.

Involvement in necromancy

Grackle has expressed a long-running interest in necromancy, running back to his teenage years in which he would attempt to use arcane magic to revive dead birds he'd find on walks. While the exact reasoning for his morbid fascination with the dead is unknown, it is believed it is primarily because he is goth.

While employed at AFISH, Grackle is strictly forbidden from practicing necromancy, as acquiring dead specimens for such an activity would be, according to AFISH management, “insanely unethical, are you kidding me? The paperwork would be just...and then we’d have to...and this is Grackle we're talking about, the messes he makes are just...no. The answer is no.”

It took Grackle only a month to find a loophole, and he swiftly returned to practicing necromancy, now on muppets. By attempting to resurrect them, Grackle has created an entire army of sentient, chaotic puppets that live in the ventilation system of the AFISH facility. Grackle considers himself the MuppetFather and expresses strange pride in all his “children.”

After the incineration of former Georgias captain Niq Nyong'o, Grackle managed to get Flattery McKinley to join him, in hopes that he could warm them up to the concept of necromancy. While McKinley did manage to successfully necromance a few muppets, including current Georgias mascot Ronald McMelvin, they failed to find comfort in muppet necromancy, and would bail before their experiments could lead to anything more dramatic. Grackle notably expressed disappointment in McKinley's lack of commitment.

From the shadows, Grackle would command his undead puppet army to act as the Bubble's Phantom Thieves' Guild. While the Bubble's Thieves' Guild remained largely ineffective, mostly stealing items instead of the players holding them, they were successful in following Grackle's command to kidnap a therapist, bringing back Lance Serotonin from the Chicago Firefighters.

Despite holding no involvement in Niq Nyong'o's resurrection in the Season β23 elections, Grackle claims full responsibility for her revival. Why he continues to do this despite contradictory evidence is unknown, especially given his rivalry with Nyong'o.

Trivia

  • Despite not having a legitimate doctorate, Nanci Grackle still demands that everyone uses a "Dr." honorific when referring to him.
  • Nanci Grackle hates the color green so much, that he got his ability to see it removed. He has unknowingly incorporated impressive amounts of green into his wardrobe since.
  • Nanci Grackle has a Gigantamax form known as "BIG GRACK," which has never been seen in active play due to ILB rules and regulations forbidding it.
    • This is surprising, as Grackle rarely seems to care about rules and regulations.
  • Nanci Grackle doesn't know what an airplane is.
    • Despite this, he is one of the largest investors at Boeing.
  • Nanci Grackle and Lachlan Shelton once ran a cooking show together called "Cooking with Grackle". It was cancelled before the first commercial break.
  • Nanci Grackle collects marbles, and keeps them in conveniently unstable jars, so if an intruder is to enter his house, he can simply knock the jar over, covering the floor in marbles so the intruder can't escape.
    • Nanci Grackle sometimes eats the marbles. As a snack.


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