Talk:Goobie Ballson

I propose to add a second IRM presenting a version of Ballson within the Tokyo Lift's pirate-themed Adrift AU. The full text of this addition can be read at https://docs.google.com/document/d/1BicgoxwhzeW6fMUTzqvND1gb7BrRT0KlAXufXWqHU4g/edit?usp=sharing

I intend to install the IRM feature on this player's wiki page, using the Filebox format. The community-created section of the existing article will be moved unaltered to a randomly-numbered IF page. This will allow for a second IRM presenting a version of the player within the Tokyo Lift's pirate-themed Adrift AU (see IF-1667).

Hi all! I've written an update covering Goobie's time on the Moist Talkers and Lift, ending with him joining the Georgias. This would go under the existing "History" section on the page (I might pop a "Time on the Firefighters" subheader on there for consistency's sake) - let me know if y'all have any questions comments and so forth!

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Getting Moist

After a long, storied, and friendly career with the Firefighters, Ballson left the team to go to the Canada Moist Talkers. As a semi-fluid guy, he had dreamed of traveling somewhere more moist, and was happy to be in Halifax. The Firefighters threw Ballson a ska-themed goodbye party and gave him official Firefighters board shorts as a goodbye gift. Ballson stayed in close touch with their old team and visited frequently during the offseason.

Ballson was a welcome presence on the Moist Talkers. He developed a fast friendship with Amos Melon, who was similarly upbeat and excited to make new friends on the pitching rotation. While Ballson would never claim to have favorite friends, he and Melon spent plenty of time together. The two of them were key to the social life on the Talkers and got along with everyone. Or, really, almost everyone.

From Tokyo to Atlantis

Ballson was later exchanged to the Tokyo Lift, after a goodbye party that resulted in official Moist Talkers board shorts. He was thrilled at the opportunities presented to him in Tokyo. They made plans with new teammate Kline Greenlemon to make new sauces for Beef Wings and maybe, possibly, potentially even develop them into something edible to the general public.

It’s unclear how and why Ballson was exchanged to the Atlantis Georgias, although some suspect that the Beef Wings Corp either facilitated the feedback or that Ballson was attempting to flee from them. Regardless, after only a matter of days with the Lift, Ballson joined the Georgias and was relieved to once again be somewhere a little wetter. The Lift sent him official Lift board shorts upon his arrival in Atlantis; reports suggest that the shorts were a bit of a rush job, but Ballson still wears them all the time.

Definitely planning to update this page at some point, give me time. But for now, Goobie is referenced in several pages from our update to our new players: namely, Lucas Petty, Wanda Schenn, and Son Jensen.

Petty (talk page: https://www.blaseball.wiki/w/Talk:Lucas_Petty):

• Goobie may be added to their info sidebar as a potential romantic relationship, alongside Marquez Clark, Vito Kravitz, and possibly McBaseball Clembons (Petty has naturally evolved a polycule)
• In the first season on the tacos section of petty's history: "Petty was not the only new player to join the Tacos during the Season 21 elections. They arrived to the team at almost exactly the same time as Goobie Ballson. Petty and Ballson were not previously acquainted, but as well as joining the Tacos simultaneously, they also shared a pregame ritual of “washing the blood off”. Petty and Ballson got along well and became friends almost immediately."
• second paragraph of that: "Petty was pitching on Season 22 Day 9, and was actively on the mound when Ballson was incinerated. This was also the first instance of activation for the Tacos’ Heat Magnet, scoring them five runs which ultimately had no impact on the Tacos’ victory. Although Petty stayed composed and pitched a shutout that game, witnessing the incineration was an extremely negative experience for them. The loss of the person they arrived to this team with and befriended made their own status feel less secure, and resulted in more awkwardness between them and the rest of the Tacos for the next few weeks."
• In the relationships section: "Due to arriving at the same time and having the same pregame ritual, Petty immediately got along with Goobie Ballson prior to Ballson’s incineration, starting up a casual friendship. While proponents of the “Ballson Is A Murderer Theory” have questioned whether their interactions were secretly or inadvertently fuelling a sinister plan, Petty has stated that they do not care either way and enjoyed their time together."

Wanda (talk page: https://www.blaseball.wiki/w/Talk:Wanda_Schenn):

• In the Chicago part of their history: "Schenn is also friends with Kennedy Rodgers and was close friends with Goobie Ballson (as most Firefighters were)."
• As a potential reason for her trade to the Tacos (inside a choose function): "she decided to investigate Ballson’s death and see if they had left any “Goobie-lings” behind."
• As another potential reason for that (inside a more limited choose function about those socks): "they were under the mistaken impression that Goobie Ballson had wound up with her Underhanded Arm Socks of Intelligence"

Son (talk page: https://www.blaseball.wiki/w/Talk:Son_Jensen)

• Goobie is briefly mentioned in one of Son's IRMs, the one with the most lawyering focus: "Time and space law has been a particularly hot-button issue in Los Angeli ever since the Grand Unslam, making Jensen’s skills in high demand. Because of this, it took a long time for Jensen to be called into active play, since every time there was a good opportunity, he was in the middle of a trial, and Al Pastor refused to file the paperwork to get him out early. In Season 22, Jensen had an opening in his schedule when "Goobie Ballson v Goobie Ballson" was unceremoniously cancelled, and he was brought into active play shortly afterwards."