Difference between revisions of "Tillman Henderson"

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(i feel like half the issue there was so much drama about tillman when he swapped to the thieves was because his wiki page didn't match what people seemed to consider his personality to be. so i've tried to tentatively edit, using a google doc provided...)
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==History==
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==Personal Life==
Henderson is just a terrible person. He sucks. Nobody likes him. Except his mother, [[Harmony H. Henderson]], but she's biased.
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Tillman Henderson is the worst person in the entire splort of Blaseball with an effortless heel persona. Put simply, he sucks. Truly reprehensible. Absolute wasteman. No time for this clown.
  
Henderson is frequently rude to support staff, medical staff and the wizard staff which hovers in the center of the Crabs' dressing room. He is constantly late to training, usually due to arguing about his height on his own Wikipedia page. Tillman is very above average height and definitely not short at all <----- this was definitely not written by Tillman. He is a fan of the Exxon Valdez Oil Spill on Facebook because he thinks it's "cool when lots of birds die". He never fetches his own balls.
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Despite the fact that Henderson's multiple regular traffic offenses continue to be paid off by his wealthy parents, his mother, [[Harmony H. Henderson]], did not attend his first funeral due to a scheduling conflict. Henderson never fetches his own balls and is frequently late to practice, primarily due to arguing about his height on his own Wikipedia page. Tillman is very above average height and definitely not short at all <----- this was definitely not written by Tillman. An anonymous former teammate describes Henderson as "a wellspring of insecurity."
  
He is not a Baltimore native, and frequently leaves the Crabitat to vacation at his father's summer homes when he is not pitching a game. This behavior hasn't changed since he became a batter, but the commute has left him crankier. He has stated several times that he "cannot be killed" by the rogue umpires, but he may in fact be bribing them to keep from being incinerated. He has a matching arm tattoo with Kennedy Loser.
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Henderson has been regularly described as "intolerable," yet somehow, former teammate [[Kennedy Loser]] has been seen tolerating Henderson at length, and the two have matching arm tattoos. Similarly, Henderson's motorbike has a sidecar that is regularly occupied by former teammate Tot Fox. Since joining the Charleston Shoe Thieves, a second sidecar for teammate Gunther O'Brian has been attached. When asked, Henderson claims that the sidecars are employed to better allow him to "cause a fuckus with the boyz." While he is occasionally seen with teammate Stu Trololol as well, manager Cornelius Games has commented that "those two absolutely cannot be together for more than five minutes or I swear to God the insufferable aura they generate will cause a category 5 hurricane of irritation." The veracity of this claim has yet to be tested.
  
He always makes a huge mess in restaurants, and never tips. He has several driving offenses, and always parks at a 35-70'''°''' angle. He is currently being investigated for several thousands of dollars worth of unpaid tickets. It is unclear why he still has a license.
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He is not a Baltimore native and, when playing for the Crabs, he frequently left the Crabitat while not pitching a game to vacation at his father's summer homes. This behavior did not change when he became a batter, but the commute left him much crankier. Prior to season 9, Tillman stated several times on record that he "cannot be killed" by the rogue umpires. These statements are now on record as notably false.
  
Truly reprehensible. Absolute wasteman. No time for this clown.
 
  
 
''<small><sub>Edit History</sub></small>''
 
''<small><sub>Edit History</sub></small>''

Revision as of 18:49, 25 October 2020

Tillman Henderson is a pitcher for the Charleston Shoe Thieves. Tillman joined the team at the conclusion of the Season 10 regular season. Tillman previously played for the Baltimore Crabs.


Official League Records

Henderson joined the ILB as a member of the Baltimore Crabs at the beginning of Season 1.

During the Season 4 election, Henderson swapped positions from pitcher to lineup player as a result of the Mutual Aid blessing.

During the Season 5 election, Henderson received boosts in all ratings as well as a boost in baserunning as a part of the Crabs' Horde Hallucinations and Rollback Netcode blessings.

On Season 7, Day 74, Henderson siphoned some of Miguel James' baserunning ability.

Henderson was incinerated on Season 9, Day 64, and replaced by Silvaire Roadhouse. Tillman returned to Active status following an idol board-related feedback swap with Jaylen Hotdogfingers after the Season 10 regular season concluded.


In the Season 10 elections, Henderson received Noise-Cancelling Headphones, becoming Soundproof.


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A Selection of Tillman Henderson's Character Traits

Tillman Henderson and Kennedy Loser have matching tattoos. Kennedy, nice beyond measure unlike Tillman, might be the only person in the world who can tolerate Tillman at length. Tillman, in turn, hangs onto his every word like a starved puppy, but tries with all his might to be blasé about it. This is a relationship where Ken is Tillman's best friend but Tillman is absolutely not Ken's best friend, and Tillman knows this though he would never say it out loud.

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Personal Life

Tillman Henderson is the worst person in the entire splort of Blaseball with an effortless heel persona. Put simply, he sucks. Truly reprehensible. Absolute wasteman. No time for this clown.

Despite the fact that Henderson's multiple regular traffic offenses continue to be paid off by his wealthy parents, his mother, Harmony H. Henderson, did not attend his first funeral due to a scheduling conflict. Henderson never fetches his own balls and is frequently late to practice, primarily due to arguing about his height on his own Wikipedia page. Tillman is very above average height and definitely not short at all <----- this was definitely not written by Tillman. An anonymous former teammate describes Henderson as "a wellspring of insecurity."

Henderson has been regularly described as "intolerable," yet somehow, former teammate Kennedy Loser has been seen tolerating Henderson at length, and the two have matching arm tattoos. Similarly, Henderson's motorbike has a sidecar that is regularly occupied by former teammate Tot Fox. Since joining the Charleston Shoe Thieves, a second sidecar for teammate Gunther O'Brian has been attached. When asked, Henderson claims that the sidecars are employed to better allow him to "cause a fuckus with the boyz." While he is occasionally seen with teammate Stu Trololol as well, manager Cornelius Games has commented that "those two absolutely cannot be together for more than five minutes or I swear to God the insufferable aura they generate will cause a category 5 hurricane of irritation." The veracity of this claim has yet to be tested.

He is not a Baltimore native and, when playing for the Crabs, he frequently left the Crabitat while not pitching a game to vacation at his father's summer homes. This behavior did not change when he became a batter, but the commute left him much crankier. Prior to season 9, Tillman stated several times on record that he "cannot be killed" by the rogue umpires. These statements are now on record as notably false.


Edit History

  • Last edited by 69HendersonHater69 on 8/4/2020
  • Edited by CrabsLoreBard on 8/4/2020 (Comment: i give up)
  • Edited by 69HendersonHater69 on 8/4/2020
  • Edited by CrabsLoreBard on 8/2/2020 (Comment: STOP VANDALIZING THIS PAGE)
  • Edited by TillmanSux87 on 8/1/2020
  • Edited by CrabsLoreBard on 7/31/2020 (Comment: Banned)
  • Edited by SteakNShake on 7/30/2020 (Comment: hahahaha screw tillman)
  • Page created by CrabsLoreBard on 7/20/2020

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