Nerd Pacheco

Nerd Pacheco
Art by by @Karagna_
Basic Information
Team	Hellmouth Sunbeams
Status	Active
Batting
Pitching
Defense
Running
External Links	Blaseball-Reference Player Changes Player Page
Personal Information
Item	None
Armor	None
Evolution	Base
Pregame Ritual	Slaps
Coffee Style	Cold Brew
Blood Type	Basic
Fate	55
Soulscream	AAEHAAAEHAAEEAAHEEAAHE
Biographical Details
Pronouns	they/them
Nickname(s)	"Guns"
Species	?
Personal Relationships
Spouses	Unlikely

Nerd Pacheco is a lineup player for the Hellmouth Sunbeams. Pacheco has been a member of the team since Season 1, where they began as a two star player.

Official League Records

Seasons 1-2

Nerd didn't do a whole lot but they held down third base nicely.

Season 3

During Season 3, on Day 47, Pacheco swallowed a stray peanut while batting, improving their rating to .

Seasons 4-7

Best as official records can tell, Pacheco just generally vibed this whole time.

Season 8

During Season 8, on Day 19, Pacheco siphoned some of San Francisco Lovers batter Kennedy Meh's batting ability in a game with Blooddrain weather, bringing it from ★★★½  to ★★★★.

Season 9

During the Season 9 Election the Hellmouth Sunbeams received the Mutually Arising blessing, which increased Pacheco's baserunning and defense by .

Season 10

During the Season 10 Election the Sunbeams received the Sharing Signs blessing, which increased Pacheco's batting to .

This is a fork of the IRM, and chooses one story of many written by the Blaseball community when the page is loaded. Nerd Pacheco has been conferred a very large number of honorary degrees by academic institutions across the Immaterial Plane. If you would like to see a list of all honorary degrees conferred upon Nerd Pacheco, or add information about a degree Nerd has ben awarded; click Rumor Registry.If you would like to edit this entry, click Hon-M.Crim. This system is based on the Interdimensional Rumor Mill, which can be read all about at Interdimensional Rumor Mill.

Master of Criminology (Chronosynclastic Larceny)

This article was originally published in the Halifax Gazette.

By Cauterize Hull and Isabellio Rapini

PHILADELPHIA - A 19th-century painting by French impressionist painter Berthe Morisot was stolen from the Philadelphia Museum of Art on ███day afternoon. The two thieves, captured on security footage, stood before "Hanging the Laundry out to Dry" for approximately fifteen minutes, before exploiting a gap in the guard rotation, removing the painting from the wall, and exiting through an unarmed door into a service corridor. Morisot's work was the only piece stolen.

"In this particular instance, the fact the thieves did not target any additional works in the storage areas they navigated during their escape is quite concerning," commented Dr. Nerd Pacheco, Hellmouth Sunbeams batter and a Correspondent Professor of Criminology at the Charleston University of Legal Doings. (Pacheco declined to participate in a face-to-face interview before print deadline, as they were halfway through a month-long visit of Japan.)

"An art thief looking purely to profit from the sale of lucrative artworks would, typically, have availed themselves of any number of works stored in the non-public areas of the museum. The theft of a single piece suggests it was for personal procurement, which will make tracking its whereabouts all the harder."

It was not the first time this particular painting had been targeted by art thieves, according to the museum. The same painting was also reportedly stolen by a thief working alone from 1929 exhibition in Paris, and took nine years to recover. "Hanging the Laundry out to Dry" was eventually found in an abandoned Naples apartment, along with over two dozen other paintings reported stolen. The identity of the infamous "Naples Haul" was never found, though unsubstantiated rumours point to alleged art thief Val Hitherto.

An investigation is underway , and anyone with information is urged to contact appropriate authorities.

(This IRM entry is based on Time In A Bottle by Waveridden.)

Fan Art

• 
• 

  by @Karagna

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  nerd

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  Nerd at Season 8 Hlomecoing, by @Karagna

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  Mini-Blaseballer by @HetreaSky