Nerd Pacheco/Hon-M.Crim

From Blaseball Wiki
Rumor / Community Lore
This article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community. It is just one of many Rumors that we've found in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill. You can find more Rumors about Nerd Pacheco at their Rumor Registry.

Master of Criminology (Chronosynclastic Larceny)

This article was originally published in the Halifax Gazette.

By Cauterize Hull and Isabellio Rapini

PHILADELPHIA - A 19th-century painting by French impressionist painter Berthe Morisot was stolen from the Philadelphia Museum of Art on ███day afternoon. The two thieves, captured on security footage, stood before "Hanging the Laundry out to Dry" for approximately fifteen minutes, before exploiting a gap in the guard rotation, removing the painting from the wall, and exiting through an unarmed door into a service corridor. Morisot's work was the only piece stolen.

"In this particular instance, the fact the thieves did not target any additional works in the storage areas they navigated during their escape is quite concerning," commented Dr. Nerd Pacheco, Hellmouth Sunbeams batter and a Correspondent Professor of Criminology at the Charleston University of Legal Doings. (Pacheco declined to participate in a face-to-face interview before print deadline, as they were halfway through a month-long visit of Japan.)

"An art thief looking purely to profit from the sale of lucrative artworks would, typically, have availed themselves of any number of works stored in the non-public areas of the museum. The theft of a single piece suggests it was for personal procurement, which will make tracking its whereabouts all the harder."

It was not the first time this particular painting had been targeted by art thieves, according to the museum. The same painting was also reportedly stolen by a thief working alone from 1929 exhibition in Paris, and took nine years to recover. "Hanging the Laundry out to Dry" was eventually found in an abandoned Naples apartment, along with over two dozen other paintings reported stolen. The identity of the infamous "Naples Haul" was never found, though unsubstantiated rumours point to alleged art thief Val Hitherto.

An investigation is underway , and anyone with information is urged to contact appropriate authorities.


(This IRM entry is based on Time In A Bottle by Waveridden.)