Winnie Hess

Winnie Hess
Art by @ghostwriterish
Basic Information
Position	Lineup Player
Team	Kansas City Breath Mints
Status	Incinerated
Batting	(7.6)
Pitching	(9.4)
Defense	(6.5)
Running	(8.0)
Modifications	Ego+This Player has a boosted Ego.  Siphon
Items	Travelling Actual Socks ●●●
Dates Active	Jul 20, 2020–present
External Links	Blaseball-Reference Player Changes Player Page
Personal Information
Evolution	Base
Peanut Allergy	Not Allergic
Pregame Ritual	Meditation
Coffee Style	Cold Brew
Blood Type	AA
Fate	64
Biographical Details
Species	Unknown

Winnie Hess is a pitcher for the Kansas City Breath Mints, and has been with the team since the Season 1 elections. Hess has previously played for the Baltimore Crabs.

Official League Records

Hess joined the ILB as a pitcher for the Baltimore Crabs with the Return of Blaseball.

Hess was traded to the Kansas City Breath Mints in exchange for PolkaDot Patterson during the Season 1 elections via the Crabs Steal Best Pitcher blessing. Hess also received a Mysterious Enhancement blessing, resulting in a 0 → 2.5 pitching improvement.

On Season 8, Day 58, Hess's pitching ability was siphoned by Seattle Garages pitcher Ron Monstera in a game with Blooddrain weather.

During the Season 9 election, Hess received the Siphon modification due to the passing of the Forecast: Blooddrain decree.

On Season 10 Day 10, Hess siphoned some of Yellowstone Magic lineup player Wyatt Glover's pitching ability in a game with Blooddrain weather.

During the Coffee Cup, Hess played for the Cold Brew Crew as a pitcher.

On Season 15 Day 90, Hess siphoned some of Yellowstone Magic lineup player Oscar Dollie's pitching ability in a game with Blooddrain weather.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

History

Hess is known as one of the crowd favorites among Mints fans. Energy scouters have confirmed she has exactly one horsepower. After the end of Season 4, all of the Breath Mints' pitchers benefitted from the Non-Dominant Arms blessing, which quickly made her one of the most reliable and skilled pitchers in the league. The seasons that followed came to be known among Mints fans as "The Horse Era."

Previously, it was thought that her easily being spooked by loud and sudden noises was due to her being a humanoid horse. It is said that her greatest rival is the plastic bag. However, she has come out on the matter saying that the horse excuse is, in fact, not true, and she has been diagnosed with ADHD, and a hypersensitivity to sound. Despite this (or maybe because of it), she remains the Breath Mints' best pitcher.

She has been public about her ADHD helping her Blaseball career, even going so far as to say, "You know what good things come out of having hyperfixations in this game? I never stop working to be a better pitcher."

Winnie prefers "Dark Horse" for her trot-up music.

In Literature

Baltimore Crabs Poet Laureate Runolfio Peeper wrote the following poem about Hess:

Dear Winnie Hess has left our park
While here, she made near zero mark
In truth for some she's been forgot
'Cept as the trade for Polkadot

But since she left she's really grown
And has for Kansas City shown
Herself a workhorse in rotation
Fueled by hay and meditation.

And so in hindsight I now muse
That if again we got to choose
Whether to trade Winnie away
It's very clear we'd answer "nay!"

Fan Art

Music

• Winning Best by Hello Whirled (dampsocks008 on Discord)

Gallery

• 

  Mini-Blaseballer by @HetreaSky

• 

  Winnie playing card by @trivia_lad

• 

  Winnie Hess by @lavendelzahne

• 

  Winnie Hess by @Fancymancer

• 

  Cold Brew Crew captains Winnie and Nerd by @thecoolereros

• 

  Winnie Hess by @glassgoblin