Sparks Beans

Sparks Beans
Portrait by AuspiciousFuneral
Basic Information
Team	Seattle Garages
Status	Active
Batting
Pitching
Defense
Running
Dates Active	Oct 11, 2020–present
External Links	Blaseball-Reference Player Changes Player Page
Personal Information
Item	None
Armor	None
Evolution	Base
Pregame Ritual	Channeling chi
Coffee Style	Cold Brew
Blood Type	Love
Fate	21
Soulscream	EXEAAEXEAAEIHAAIIHAAIIEUAIAEUAIAEOHAOEOHAOEOUAAAHUAAAHUAOIUIAOIUIAAAAHUAAAHUAUOAAAUOAAAU

Sparks Beans is a lineup player for the Seattle Garages, and has been with the team since the Season 9 elections.

Official League Records

Beans joined the ILB as a hitter for the Seattle Garages during the Season 9 elections to replace Mcdowell Karim via the Out of Sight blessing.

Background

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Sparks Beans is a part elemental, Sacristan-Barista for the Order of the Holy Bean. Between games they can often be found on the bases performing a walking meditation and muttering litanies beneath their breath. According to teammates, Beans has shown the ability to shapeshift according to their mood, ranging from stout while elated, to brawny while downcast.

Pre ILB

Sparks Beans's father released custody of Beans to the Order of the Holy Bean (OHB) upon sampling the Untold Macchiato from the Dunklin Donuts forbidden menu. When questioned about the action Mr. Fava Beans had this to say:

"The baristas had given me so much more in that cup than possibly could have been covered by the $3.49 they insisted was the price. Only the donation of my child could the debt be repaid."

The Untold Macchiato has since been removed from the forbidden menu.

Sparks Beans was taken in by the OHB and raised to reach enlightenment through cultivating, harvesting, and roasting rare coffee beans. However, as a teenager Beans began experimenting by making pacts with unknowable forces to perfect their roast. One such entity could be spotted throughout the rest of their childhood working with them when the OHB was unable to focus on them. It is unclear if these pacts are what gave them their powers; all that is known is that, during a roasting of Thunder Plains Arabica, the elemental powers contained within Beans awakened, and the subsequent release of energy roasted the coffee to a perfect City roast. This caused their previously bald head to produce electricity flowing from it.

Once Beans had learned all that the OHB could teach them about roasting, Beans and fellow harvesters left the Dunklin' on a pilgrimage to the Secret Andes in search of the Robustos that once made the Mother of the Gods weep. █████ █████████, a junior level harvester, brought a copy of "The Incessant Spam Calls of Shavalyoth", and taught the party how to play during periods of rest. The third session of "The Incessant Spam Calls of Shavalyoth" was run while the party was camped out in a cave due to a sudden hail storm, during which the conversation turned to the many coffee houses of the Emerald City, and the endless laboratory where blends on incredible power are brewed. As a result of the conversation, Beans decided to visit Seattle.

In Seattle

The OHB provided Sparks Beans with accommodation and a position at a Dunklins inside the Big Garage upon their arrival to Seattle. It was here Beans honed the rest of their craft, while getting in touch with the world of blaseball. They took to watching games and taking notes on how the splort worked. During this time Beans befriended Garages pitcher Lori Boston and batter Nolanestophia Patterson. The three could be found playing tabletop rpgs with Malik Destiny hanging around nearby. Theodore Duende, Seattle Garages team captain, recruited Sparks Beans for the Garages after witnessing them chase off a set of "influencers", who had been loitering about the shop demanding free drinks, with their rune inscribed bat "The Magnet". Upon learning that they would be replacing Patterson, Beans had a paw print embroidered onto their team flannel in her honor.

Upon joining the ILB, Beans discovered that they are the long lost sibling of Fran Beans, a former patron of the Dunklin whose cybernetic arms Beans had once accidentally overcharged. The two claim to be close, Sparks including Fran in Garages' Jlackbox nights.

Beans is known for their energetic, mile-a-minute nature. They're known for being forgetful, often neglecting to activate The Magnet before going up to bat. They make up for this by setting a plethora of alarms on their phone, though this only works when Beans remembers where they left it.

Beans lives in the International District with Garages pitcher Goodwin Morin. As both grew up in isolated communities and are in touch with their magical abilities, the two find comfort in each others company, each helping the other one adjust to life in the city. The two can be found warming up for games with Morin pitching shadow balls to Beans and Beans zapping them out of the air.

Music

Sparks Beans is a Tesla coil player, harnessing their electricity to make music.