Difference between revisions of "Tillman Henderson"

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{{IRM|PlayerName=Tillman Henderson}}
 
{{IRM|PlayerName=Tillman Henderson}}
  
==In Literature==
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== A Selection of Tillman Henderson's Character Traits ==
Crabs Poet Laureate [[Runolfio Peeper]] wrote the following poem about Henderson, although he said he "didn't want to":
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<choose uncached>
<blockquote><poem>
 
To write a poem on Tillman is a chore
 
This unpleasant rotten whiny sad disgrace
 
Who perhaps it is much better to ignore
 
I have seen him punch a grandma in the face
 
Throughout Baltimore his name will earn a curse
 
And he’s been thrown out of nearly every place
 
Yes, it’s very hard to find a person worse
 
He trips waiters when he visits all cafés
 
And the way he parks his car is near perverse
 
Plus, of pitching little talent he betrays
 
His ERA is in the stratosphere
 
We’re glad he pitches just once in five days
 
Yet as crass and rude and stupid he appears
 
If he ever wins a game he’ll earn our cheers.</poem></blockquote>
 
  
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<option>tillman henderson was dragged along by kennedy loser and forrest best to help coach the local blittle league team, the hermit crabs. while he complains often about having to pitch in, he settled into the role pretty quickly after the kids started looking up to him. his captive audience was witness to cool vape tricks and contact juggling blaseballs. kennedy would often play a desperate balancing act trying to keep tillman from becoming too much of a bad influence, but the kids were listening more with him around to the point where he could get through to them, and it kept tillman out of trouble and supervised.</option>
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<option>tillman henderson has never once parked properly in his life. maryland drivers are notoriously bad -- tillman is EVERY maryland driver</option>
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<option>tillman henderson is a wellspring of insecurity. he self aggrandizes at every opportunity and banters as a defense mechanism. he craves validation.</option>
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<option>tillman henderson and kennedy loser have matching tattoos. kennedy, nice beyond measure unlike tillman, might be the only person in the world who can tolerate tillman at length. tillman, in turn, hangs onto his every word like a starved puppy, but tries with all his might to be blasé about it. this is a relationship where ken is tillman's best friend but tillman is absolutely not ken's best friend, and tillman knows this though he would never say it out loud.</option>
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<option>tillman henderson and chicago firefighter declan suzanne are dating, and they make out in declan's el camino after every chiclawgo matchup.</option>
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</choose>
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==History==
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Henderson is just a terrible person. He sucks. Nobody likes him.
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He got a spot in the pitching roster because his father, Thrillman J. Henderson, was a hedge fund manager who recommended an accountant with questionable methods to the Crabs' Chief Financial Officer.
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Henderson is frequently rude to support staff, medical staff and the wizard staff which hovers in the center of the Crabs' dressing room. He is constantly late to training, usually due to arguing about his height on his own Wikipedia page. Tillman is very above average height and definitely not short at all <----- this was definitely not written by Tillman. He is a fan of the Exxon Valdez Oil Spill on Facebook because he thinks it's "cool when lots of birds die". He never fetches his own balls.
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His favorite book is the audiobook of Ready Player One as read by Wil Wheaton. He enjoys his mac and cheese with copious amounts of ketchup and mustard.
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He has faced strong backlash from fan organizations for posting fan art without crediting the artists on social media. His response of "idk who did it I just found it" was not well-received either.
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He is not a Baltimore native, and frequently leaves the Crabitat to vacation at his father's summer homes when he is not pitching a game. He has stated several times that he "cannot be killed" by the rogue umpires, but he may in fact be bribing them to keep from being incinerated. He has a matching arm tattoo with Kennedy Loser.
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He always makes a huge mess in restaurants, and never tips. He has several driving offenses, and always parks at a 35-70'''°''' angle. He is currently being investigated for several thousands of dollars worth of unpaid tickets. It is unclear why he still has a license.
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Truly reprehensible. Absolute wasteman. No time for this clown.
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==Cloning Facility And Extended Siesta==
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During the [[Extended Siesta|extended siesta]], Tillman discovered a large group of much nicer Tillman clones living in the woods of Maryland, having escaped from the Henderson Cloning Facility and built a life for themselves in the forest. Tillman hired a pirate physicist to create a quantum field interdimensional transporter, transported himself to another dimension with higher technology, and hired another pirate physicist with more advanced technology to create a hyperquantum interdimensional pocket universe entangler, which he used to send the nice Tillman clones to a pocket universe, eliminating any chance of escaping incineration in the process.
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Tillman also grew a soul patch during the extended siesta.
  
 
''<small><sub>Edit History</sub></small>''
 
''<small><sub>Edit History</sub></small>''
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*<u><small><sub>Edited by SteakNShake on 7/30/2020 (Comment: hahahaha screw tillman)</sub></small></u>
 
*<u><small><sub>Edited by SteakNShake on 7/30/2020 (Comment: hahahaha screw tillman)</sub></small></u>
 
*<u><small><sub>Page created by CrabsLoreBard on 7/20/2020</sub></small></u>
 
*<u><small><sub>Page created by CrabsLoreBard on 7/20/2020</sub></small></u>
 
<br />
 
  
 
==Fan Art==
 
==Fan Art==

Revision as of 21:09, 17 October 2020

Tillman Henderson is a pitcher for the Charleston Shoe Thieves. Tillman joined the team at the conclusion of the Season 10 regular season. Tillman previously played for the Baltimore Crabs.


Official League Records

Henderson joined the ILB as a member of the Baltimore Crabs at the beginning of Season 1.

During the Season 4 election, Henderson swapped positions from pitcher to lineup player as a result of the Mutual Aid blessing.

During the Season 5 election, Henderson received boosts in all ratings as well as a boost in baserunning as a part of the Crabs' Horde Hallucinations and Rollback Netcode blessings.

On Season 7, Day 74, Henderson siphoned some of Miguel James' baserunning ability.

Henderson was incinerated on Season 9, Day 64, and replaced by Silvaire Roadhouse. Tillman returned to Active status following an idol board-related feedback swap with Jaylen Hotdogfingers after the Season 10 regular season concluded.

Err: Missing Format Argument

This IRM is missing a valid format argument. Please set format to filebox, dimensions, concept, vignette, lens, replica, or summary in the template call. If this IRM previously contained rumors they can be viewed in the Rumor Registry. Please propose a format on the Talk page.

,


A Selection of Tillman Henderson's Character Traits

tillman henderson is a wellspring of insecurity. he self aggrandizes at every opportunity and banters as a defense mechanism. he craves validation.

History

Henderson is just a terrible person. He sucks. Nobody likes him.

He got a spot in the pitching roster because his father, Thrillman J. Henderson, was a hedge fund manager who recommended an accountant with questionable methods to the Crabs' Chief Financial Officer.

Henderson is frequently rude to support staff, medical staff and the wizard staff which hovers in the center of the Crabs' dressing room. He is constantly late to training, usually due to arguing about his height on his own Wikipedia page. Tillman is very above average height and definitely not short at all <----- this was definitely not written by Tillman. He is a fan of the Exxon Valdez Oil Spill on Facebook because he thinks it's "cool when lots of birds die". He never fetches his own balls.

His favorite book is the audiobook of Ready Player One as read by Wil Wheaton. He enjoys his mac and cheese with copious amounts of ketchup and mustard.

He has faced strong backlash from fan organizations for posting fan art without crediting the artists on social media. His response of "idk who did it I just found it" was not well-received either.

He is not a Baltimore native, and frequently leaves the Crabitat to vacation at his father's summer homes when he is not pitching a game. He has stated several times that he "cannot be killed" by the rogue umpires, but he may in fact be bribing them to keep from being incinerated. He has a matching arm tattoo with Kennedy Loser.

He always makes a huge mess in restaurants, and never tips. He has several driving offenses, and always parks at a 35-70° angle. He is currently being investigated for several thousands of dollars worth of unpaid tickets. It is unclear why he still has a license.

Truly reprehensible. Absolute wasteman. No time for this clown.

Cloning Facility And Extended Siesta

During the extended siesta, Tillman discovered a large group of much nicer Tillman clones living in the woods of Maryland, having escaped from the Henderson Cloning Facility and built a life for themselves in the forest. Tillman hired a pirate physicist to create a quantum field interdimensional transporter, transported himself to another dimension with higher technology, and hired another pirate physicist with more advanced technology to create a hyperquantum interdimensional pocket universe entangler, which he used to send the nice Tillman clones to a pocket universe, eliminating any chance of escaping incineration in the process.

Tillman also grew a soul patch during the extended siesta.

Edit History

  • Last edited by 69HendersonHater69 on 8/4/2020
  • Edited by CrabsLoreBard on 8/4/2020 (Comment: i give up)
  • Edited by 69HendersonHater69 on 8/4/2020
  • Edited by CrabsLoreBard on 8/2/2020 (Comment: STOP VANDALIZING THIS PAGE)
  • Edited by TillmanSux87 on 8/1/2020
  • Edited by CrabsLoreBard on 7/31/2020 (Comment: Banned)
  • Edited by SteakNShake on 7/30/2020 (Comment: hahahaha screw tillman)
  • Page created by CrabsLoreBard on 7/20/2020

Fan Art