Difference between revisions of "Simon Haley"

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|former=[[Canada Moist Talkers]]
 
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'''{{PAGENAME}}''' is a lineup player for the [[Charleston Shoe Thieves]], and has been with the team since [[Season 8]]. Haley has previously played for the [[Canada Moist Talkers]].
 
'''{{PAGENAME}}''' is a lineup player for the [[Charleston Shoe Thieves]], and has been with the team since [[Season 8]]. Haley has previously played for the [[Canada Moist Talkers]].
  
 
__FORCETOC__
 
__FORCETOC__
 
==Official League Records==
 
==Official League Records==
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Haley entered the league on the [[Canada Moist Talkers]] as a replacement for [[Trevino Merritt]] after Merritt's [[incineration]] during [[Season 2]].
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Haley joined the [[ILB]] as a lineup player for the [[Canada Moist Talkers]] after the [[incineration]] of [[Trevino Merritt]] on [[Season 2]], Day 72.
  
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On Day 8 of [[Season 3]], Haley consumed a stray peanut and had an allergic reaction. Haley's hitting rank dropped from {{Star Rating|2.5}} to {{Star Rating|1}}
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On [[Season 3]], Day 8, Haley swallowed a [[Peanuts|peanut]] and had an [[Peanuts_(weather)#Reactions|allergic]] reaction, resulting in a combined {{Star Change|9.8|5.9}} stat decrease.
  
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On Day 44 of [[Season 8]], Haley switched to the Shoe Thieves in a [[feedback]] event with [[Eugenia Garbage]].
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On [[Season 8]], Day 44, Haley was exchanged to the [[Charleston Shoe Thieves]] due to [[Feedback]]. Haley was replaced by [[Eugenia Garbage.]].
  
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At the end of [[Season 8#Blessings 2|Season 8]], the '''Radical Alchemy''' blessing randomized Haley's batting stats from ★ to ★★★½.
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During the [[Season 8#Blessings 2|Season 8]] election, the Shoe Thieves received the '''Radical Alchemy''' blessing, which randomized Haley's batting from {{Star Change|1.2|3.3}}
  
 
On Day 7 of [[Season 10]], Haley hit the first recorded pentaslam (5-run home run) and found the [[Blagonballs#4-Blood_Blagonball|4-Blood Blagonball]].
 
On Day 7 of [[Season 10]], Haley hit the first recorded pentaslam (5-run home run) and found the [[Blagonballs#4-Blood_Blagonball|4-Blood Blagonball]].
  
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On Season 10, Day 8, some of Haley's defensive ability was siphoned by [[Yeong-Ho Benitez]], bringing it from ★ to ½.
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On [[Day_X#Season_9|Season 9, Day X]], Haley gained the {{ModLink|Flinch}} modification after the Shoe Thieves lost to [[THE SHELLED ONE'S PODS]].
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On [[Season 10]], Day 81, Haley's defensive ability was siphoned by [[Philly Pies]] lineup player [[Yeong-Ho Benitez]] in a game with [[Blooddrain]] weather, decreasing it {{Star Change|1.0|0.7}}.
  
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In the [[Season 10#Blessings 2|Season 10 elections]], Haley received '''Noise-Cancelling Headphones''', becoming [[Modifications|Soundproof]].
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In the [[Season 10#Blessings 2|Season 10 elections]], Haley received '''Noise-Cancelling Headphones''', becoming [[Modifications|Soundproof]]. (The Headphones would later be lost, along with all other Discipline Era items across the league, at the beginning of Season 15.)
  
 
During the [[Coffee Cup]], Haley played for [[Club de Calf]] as a lineup player.
 
During the [[Coffee Cup]], Haley played for [[Club de Calf]] as a lineup player.

Revision as of 00:39, 25 May 2021

Simon Haley is a lineup player for the Charleston Shoe Thieves, and has been with the team since Season 8. Haley has previously played for the Canada Moist Talkers.


Official League Records

Haley joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Canada Moist Talkers after the incineration of Trevino Merritt on Season 2, Day 72.

On Season 3, Day 8, Haley swallowed a peanut and had an allergic reaction, resulting in a combined 9.8 → 5.9 stat decrease.

On Season 8, Day 44, Haley was exchanged to the Charleston Shoe Thieves due to Feedback. Haley was replaced by Eugenia Garbage..

During the Season 8 election, the Shoe Thieves received the Radical Alchemy blessing, which randomized Haley's batting from 1.2 → 3.3

On Day 7 of Season 10, Haley hit the first recorded pentaslam (5-run home run) and found the 4-Blood Blagonball.

On Season 9, Day X, Haley gained the Flinch modification after the Shoe Thieves lost to THE SHELLED ONE'S PODS.

On Season 10, Day 81, Haley's defensive ability was siphoned by Philly Pies lineup player Yeong-Ho Benitez in a game with Blooddrain weather, decreasing it 1.0 → 0.7 .

In the Season 10 elections, Haley received Noise-Cancelling Headphones, becoming Soundproof. (The Headphones would later be lost, along with all other Discipline Era items across the league, at the beginning of Season 15.)

During the Coffee Cup, Haley played for Club de Calf as a lineup player.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Blaseball Career

Achievements

Haley was voted ILB Rookie of the Year by fan vote at the end of Season 2. He is the first player to receive this award.

Personal Life

Simon Haley is rumored to be the lovechild of 18th Century English astronomer Edmond Halley and the short-period comet 1P/Halley, conceived sometime following Edmond Halley's death in 1742.

Haley came down to the Moist Talkers from on high after Trevino Merritt's incineration, and was chosen to take Merritt's place after ey displayed much of the same batting and running prowess as zir predecessor.

After her unfortunate peanut reaction in Season 3, Haley founded the Anti-Peanut Alliance and devoted aerself to it. After the Season 9 playoffs, the Alliance began creating fliers proclaiming "Top 10 Anti-Peanut Tips For The Upcoming Battle Against God" and posting advice in a similar vein online. Following the fall of the Shelled One, Haley is quoted saying "I'm just proud I could do my part to help." When asked what the Alliance would do next, Haley responded that "we may branch out to herald the defeat of other corrupt gods, but as of now we're back to fighting against the evils of the common nut. Did you know over 60% of ILB players are allergic?"

On his swap to the Charleston Shoe Thieves, Haley told reporters that he quickly slotted into the team's dynamic, in part due to pamphlets printed up by former teammate Lachlan Shelton to help former Talkers adapt to their new environment. Teammate Howell Franklin commented that "When you first talk to Simon, he seems like such a shy little thing. But when he opens up? Absolute chaos. He just wants to yell. I respect that immensely." The two appear to be friends in some capacity as, after the season 10 game in which Haley hit the ILB's first ever recorded pentaslam, Franklin reportedly lifted em onto their shoulders and did a lap around the field while Haley emitted whoops of delight.

Trivia

  • Haley's birthday is July 12, 1986
  • Haley is a Type 1 diabetic and has an insulin pump
  • Haley's favourite skittles are the green ones

Fan Works


Charleston Shoe Thieves 👟
Players Batters
Pitchers
Shadows
BuriedRichardson Games · Darren Chill · Slosh Gulp · Becker Solis
Former   · Full List
Stats Seasonβ1 · β2 · β3 · β4 · β5 · β6 · β7 · β8 · β9 · β10 · β11 · β12 · β13 · β14 · β15 · β16 · β17 · β18 · β19 · β20 · β21 · β22 · β23 · β24
1 · 2 · Full List
CircuitsGamma 1 · Gamma 2 · Gamma 3 · Gamma 4
Events The Grand Unslam · Day X
Ballpark Choux Stadium
Community Lore
Staff Cornelius Games · Matteo Prestige · Sneaker Pete · Holden Milk
Places Charleston · The Beck And Call · Sunken Charleston Remembrance Obelisk
History Charleston Shoe Thieves' History · Fan Awards
Fan Culture 📣 · Fan Works 💌 · Tlopps Cards 🃏
Your Kicks are Our Kicks.

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