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| | The '''Olde One''' (also known as The Mother Crab, Mr. Trash Wheel, The Deep One, They Who Lay In Slumber Under The Oldest Bay, Mom, The Indomitable Snip, She of the Eternal Shuffle, He of the Omniscent Ommatophores, “That There Big Crab”, Our Lady of the Impenecrable Shell, Ny'el'g'shuth Sh'ai'c'll'll'claroth, and Big Debrah) is the corpse-god of Chesapeake Bay, and matron diety to the [[Baltimore Crabs]]. | | The '''Olde One''' (also known as The Mother Crab, Mr. Trash Wheel, The Deep One, They Who Lay In Slumber Under The Oldest Bay, Mom, The Indomitable Snip, She of the Eternal Shuffle, He of the Omniscent Ommatophores, “That There Big Crab”, Our Lady of the Impenecrable Shell, Ny'el'g'shuth Sh'ai'c'll'll'claroth, and Big Debrah) is the corpse-god of Chesapeake Bay, and matron diety to the [[Baltimore Crabs]]. |
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| − | ==Prayers for <choose uncached="">
| + | <!-- if you would like to add a new prayer, add it to the list on the Olde One/Prayers page --> |
| − | <option> The Olde One</option>
| + | {{:Olde One/Prayers|The following words have been offered by the [[Baltimore Crabs]]. You can view more by refreshing the page, or by listening in [[Olde One/Prayers|here]].|3}} |
| − | <option> The One Who Sleeps </option>
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| − | <option> Deborah </option>
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| − | <option> Mother Crab </option>
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| − | </choose> ==
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| − | The following words have been offered by the [[Baltimore Crabs]]. You can view more by refreshing the page, or by listening in [[Olde One/Prayers|here]]. <br/> <i> | |
| − | <!-- if you would like to add a new prayer, simply add it on under an existing one by starting it off with <option> and ending with </option>
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| − | If you want to make other changes to the page, just head down to the bottom to reach the IRM section, or make edits to the IRMs directly. Apologies for all the scrolling as we ended up with a lot of prayers-->
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| − | <choose uncached="" count="3" before="<blockquote>" after="</blockquote>">
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| − | <option>“Okay I don’t know if you gave the scales a little nudge, but I will admit that the sun thing was pretty cool.<br/>Signed, Tot Fox” </option>
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| − | <option>“We’ve been around the sun a few times you and I. I wonder who’s been here longer? I’d like to think it’s me, but the older you get the easier it is to mistake your own self importance. Though it looks like you learned that lesson well enough on your own didn’t you? <br/> Signed, Tot Fox” </option>
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| − | <option>“I’m not scared of you.” </option>
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| − | <option>“Our Lady wanted me to pass on a message, but it was really sappy so I’m uhhh not going to do that. Just like imagine the sappiest thing you can, and make it ten times sappier. It’s so embarrassing.” </option>
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| − | <option>“Okay I’ve asked everyone else on my team but no one will give me a straight answer. Who plays after me in the lineup now that Baldwin is gone? It’s driving me nuts. Someone is hitting the ball but I still haven’t seen them and it’s making it way harder to play. Also the locker room might be haunted so like, get on that.” </option>
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| − | <option>“I need my hands to stop shaking every time I pick up a bat. It’s killing me to just watch the ball fly by and not be able to move. It’s like a weight in my chest. I’ve tried everything I could think of but nothing makes it better. We even won again! But I just couldn’t stop looking up at that gaping hole in the sky. Wondering if it would be another ten years until I could come back home. And I just couldn't do it.” </option>
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| − | <option>“Oh hello. Funny seeing you here. You haven’t by any chance seen {{Color|mediumpurple|him}} have you? No? Okay well if you do let me know, I have a deal I want to pay {{Color|mediumpurple|him}} back for.” </option>
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| − | <option>“I told them I was going to get good. And now I did. Kind of a dick move that I don’t get to be here with Baldwin but whatever. Let me know if you can work something out with that. I don’t do deals, but I’ll net your team a win if that’s what you’re looking for.” </option>
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| − | <option>“I shouldn’t feel pity for you. I never knew you while you were alive. You’ve burdened my teammates for years now. You’ve taken more than you could have ever offered. But you’re a corpse, now. Just an afterimage of a failed god. I dance in your sun-bleached shell for entertainment, goddammit.<br>I shouldn’t.” </option>
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| − | <option>“Hey. If you’re listening, which I assume you always are, ████ you.<br/><br/>And thank you.” </option>
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| − | <option>“I’m just saying would it kill you to let the bases get loaded up before my next home run? You let Tillman get a grand slam, so at this point I’m going to assume you’re playing favourites.” </option>
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| − |
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| − | <option>“If you can hear this, please - I just need this one letter to go through. You can let us rot here for all I care, I just need them to know” </option>
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| − | <option>“If you can hear this, I don’t care! I’m not letting anything stop me from getting home, and I don’t need your help to do it. Get bent” </option>
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| − | <option>- .... .- -. -.- / -.-- --- ..- / ..-. --- .-. / -- -.-- / .-.. .. ..-. . .-.-.- </option>
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| − | <option>.- .-. . / -.-- --- ..- / ... - .. .-.. .-.. / - .... . .-. . ..--.. / .. ... / - .... .- - / .-- .... -.-- / .. / .- -- / ... - .. .-.. .-.. / .... . .-. . ..--.. </option>
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| − |
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| − | <option>.-- .... .- - . ...- . .-. / -.-- --- ..- / .- .-. . / -. --- .-- --..-- / .. / .-. . -- . -- -... . .-. / .-- .... .- - / -.-- --- ..- / .-- . .-. . .-.-.- </option>
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| − |
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| − | <option>"In their name, I pray. Deliver us. Guide us. Save us.” </option>
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| − | <option>"It’s just so much sometimes you know? It’s hard to keep everyone together, and to make sure they’re all safe. I know it’s not all on me, but it’s hard not to feel responsible for it. I was never meant to be left in charge, but somehow this is where I ended up. I’m sorry I shouldn’t be asking you for help after all this. It just feels nice to talk to someone about it” </option>
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| − | <option>“You want them back right? Well I’ll tell you what, I’ve got a ship that can get to the center of the black hole and back out, and if you’re willing to make sure that I’ve got the immunity I need when I come up, we might be able to work something out, you and I. What do you say? Do we have a deal?” </option>
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| − | <option>“It’s fascinating what they have down here there is so much to learn even from earth’s simplest creatures. I mean no disrespect though! It is your simplicity that makes you so beautiful. You care for your people, and I just hope that I can be included in that.” </option>
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| − | <option>“I still haven’t forgiven you.”</option>
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| − | <option>[silence]</option>
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| − | <option>“You know things are bad if I’m coming to you about something. I don’t know what to do. Mom, please, you gotta talk to me. When do I get to sleep, Mom? When do I get some sleep? It’s the same, I know it isn’t the same but right now it’s the same. It’s still the same. You there, Mom?”</option>
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| − | <option>“This wasn’t what you wanted, but it had to be done.”</option>
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| − |
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| − | <option>“If this was truly what you wanted, I don’t regret being the one to do it.”</option>
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| − | <option>“I’m not sorry.”</option>
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| − | <option>“And for today’s guest we have the one and only god of the bay herself! Now Deborah is there anything you want to tell my listeners? [...] Aww that’s very sweet of you to worry, but I’m sure the recording will turn out fine! It’s not like-”</option>
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| − | <option>“I asked Brock about this and he was super cagey. Like he can’t decide if this is an important part of playing here, or if he wants to try and ban me from trying it. I figure I should do it anyway and just not tell him.<br/>
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| − | I don’t think I get it. It’s like there's a rulebook of things to know and I’m stuck catching up all the time. Everyone’s super nice about it, but when I lose or when I say the wrong thing, or react in a way I don’t think I’m supposed to, I just know I messed up. I don’t think you can do anything about it though.
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| − | You know what that did feel a little better. <br/>
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| − | If you are listening please don’t tell Brock I talked to you I don’t want him to be mad.” </option>
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| − | <option>“Oh Great Olde One, Nautical Deborah, Heart of the Bay and Mother of all Crabs, please turn your great eyes upon me. I seek to scuttle in your path and draw closer to the ultimate destiny of all life. Work your incomparable and, um...great crustaceous power to...um. ...Are you even still out there? Still listening? I don’t know if you’re the type of god that likes to give direct and clear messages in people’s heads. The other Crabs say you are...or maybe, were, back before they hollowed you out. I thought doing this, talking to you out loud, would help me have a connection with you like they all seem to have. ...I just want to feel like part of the team.”</option>
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| − | <option>“I know what I did to piss you off. I get it. I blew the game and you’re mad. I’m not going to ask you to forgive me or anything. I’m going to prove that I don’t need it. I’ll play without it. I want it back but I’m willing to earn it if that’s what it takes”</option>
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| − |
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| − | <option>"I don't need your gifts anymore. You can give it back if you want, but I made my own- we made my own. Nothing you could do could ever compare. </option>
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| − |
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| − | <option>"... I still haven't earned it. Doesn't feel like it. I don't have to earn it with them, though. I just have to try my best. I always am." </option>
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| − | <option>“Hey, uh. Brock and I are getting married. It’s gonna happen regardless of your blessing, but. Thought it might be appropriate to ask.” </option>
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| − | <option>[screaming]</option>
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| − | <option>[The sound of water rushing into your lungs.]</option>
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| − | <option>“YEAH? YEAH YOU THINK THIS IS GOING TO STOP ME? WE’RE STRONGER THAN YOU AND WE KNOW THAT, IF I DIE HERE THEN THERE WILL BE HUNDREDS MORE AFTER ME - SO DON’T GET COMFORTABLE” </option>
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| − | <option>“I’ve never thought much about time. Not in the way that other people do. I think you’re the same way. You exist in perpetuity. Your best and worst traits are always there. Your final words echoing back to the day you first emerged. Is that why we can still hear you so long after you’ve died? Is that why we still miss you so long after we made the choice not to? ” </option>
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| − | <option>“I know that it’s all about change. I know that’s why we end up here, and why we’ll all leave eventually. But it feels different when it happens to me. I guess that’s why I needed to experience this. So thanks? I guess? Though I don’t know if it’s still you handing out all those blessings.”</option>
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| − | <option>“They say you’re the most powerful thing in the city. I don't know if that’s true anymore, but it’s hard to test that theory. I wonder what you think of all of this? Are you even there or am I talking to myself?”</option>
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| − | <option>“Hi. You’re way bigger than me and that intimates me a little, but it’s kind of cool. Thanks to you I can rest easy again and just watch.” </option>
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| − | <option>“I’m getting out. I’m free. I never have to see any of this again. Let the rest of them know that it’s possible okay? I don’t think it’s easy, but they can get out. Please tell them, please let them know-”</option>
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| − | <option>“You’re not so scary you know. After everything I’ve been through? I was expecting more. I’m not going to make a deal with you. But I will ask you to keep them safe when I’m gone. There will be no compensation.”</option>
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| − | <option>“I’m not sure they can reach you from up here, but I think I can. I would pass on their messages but I know enough about your kind that I know you would twist them around and hurt them. Some of them know better than to ask though, so maybe this team was a good fit for me after all. </option>
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| − |
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| − | <option>“How is it that I was strong enough to kill you, but not strong enough to keep her alive? Strong enough for violence, but not to save the ones I love. It’s not fair that you get to hear this and she doesn’t. I won’t let it happen again. No matter the cost.”</option>
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| − | <option>“Hello? Hello? Can you even hear me from up here? I would like a full set of new wrenches, at least 30 eels I can use for experiments and at least 2 new henchmen. And if you could throw in a nice new face mask that would be ideal. Thank you and have a good night.” </option>
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| − |
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| − | <option>“So you… change people right? Make them different? I was wondering if maybe there was a way you could do that for me. We’re two different people, and I’m sick of just being...the defective one I guess. I have some notes here. Some carapace on the mask maybe? Or like little fangs? If you take suggestions I was thinking of something eel related. Eels and crabs are like basically the same thing right?”</option>
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| − | <option>“It’s been a long time. I hope you’re doing well, all alone down there. The rest of them are gone right now, but I’m not sure you’ve noticed. Or that you can notice honestly. I honestly don't care either way. This is mostly just a bad old habit.”</option>
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| − | <option>“Someone said that you’re the god of change? Like evolution? The concept of things never staying the same? Well could you cut it out? We were doing just fine. We didn’t need to change. Now it’s just different and sad. Feels like garbage. I just want him back.” </option>
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| − | <option>“I don’t know what everyone was freaking out about with the bay water, I’m totally fine! I just need to figure out where all this light is coming from. Oh hey who’s this? Hello? Oh that’s sick actually, is there some big dead crab in the bay? Wild. Oh wait this might have been a bad idea-”</option>
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| − | <option>“The finals are coming up. This could be it. The last game we play before we ascend. I know we messed it up last time, but I have a feeling this could be it. I wish it wasn’t me pitching - it’s so stressful to have all these expectations on one person. But don’t worry - I won’t let it all fall on one. That’s why there are so many of us right? We can do anything together.
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| − | Oh sorry right that’s probably insensitive of me to say. Sorry! “</option>
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| − | <option>“Hey. It’s been a while eh? You know when I died I thought that would be the end of it. No more changes, just a long boring eternal rest of whatever. But I got a new job, and a new life. It’s been nice honestly. I’d like to think they’d be proud of what I’ve done. And as bad as it is to say it, I’m glad it’s not so lonely down here these days. But if you can do me a favour and stop Tillman from coming back that would be ideal.” </option>
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| − | <option>“I wanted to thank you again for what you did for me. I know that it doesn’t seem like a big deal, but those three letters make a huge difference! I feel like I don’t need to explain myself to anyone, they just accept it and move on. I know you haven’t always been the best for the city, but I wanted to know how much that meant to me. So thank you again." </option>
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| − | <option>“You talk to people, right? Could you, like, clear up this whole drama about how you gave me all these fingers? The tabloids keep following me around about it. Uh...love, Dot, or something. How do I close this out? Stop. Over.” </option>
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| − | <option>“To everyone else, you are gone. But when I am out there on the rooftops and listen to the city, there you are. In their nightmares. Everyone else misses you in their own way. But I do not have to. As long as I am still here, I will be a monument to that memory.”</option>
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| − | <option>“Was it you who did this? I’m not going to thank you or anything. Didn’t even have the decency to rez me where I wanted to be, but whatever I’ll make it work. Tell Nora I said hi and also that her onboarding joke with the scuba tank was dumb. And please keep Combs down there - I think she’s still pissed about the song.” </option>
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| − | <option>“...thanks. I guess. I know it isn’t like, all you or whatever. But I don’t think I would have ended up on the team without that. Or met everyone else. It would have sucked to have not been where I am right now. So thanks for being a big messed up Crab god and starting this whole thing.” </option>
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| − | <option>“Uh, I don’t know if you have any sway with the Blaseball gods or anything, but I would really really like it if we could get the blessing that lets me hit the ball instead of throwing it. I would be better at that than at pitching so I could, uh, better honor you. If you do I’ll be good and not eat crab - or eat only crab? Or maybe I'll just walk everywhere sideways. Uh, thanks. Clawmen.”</option>
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| − | <option>“Please don’t let them take me. I don’t want to go back.”</option>
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| − | <option>“It’s been a long time. I don’t get to play here much anymore. I wish I did, but not to see you. The paths I walk are so far removed from you now that I don’t think I need to pay you much tribute anymore. But consider these words to be one anyway. Your death served a purpose, and I hope that it has been fulfilled.”</option>
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| − | <option>“I haven’t prayed to you in years, but now that they’re gone? Please. Just get them back home safe. I can’t say I’d do anything - I know what you’ve asked before, and I can’t afford to be that selfish. I just need them to come home safe. If you ever cared about us at all - prove it.”</option>
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| − | <option>“I wonder sometimes what my life would have been like if I stayed. Worse I think. You should see me now. I looked my god in the eyes and she blinked first. Then I thought I’d stop off and play some blaseball. Let me know if you need a reminder of who runs this town.” </option>
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| − | <option>“They keep telling me you’re something powerful! Still can’t touch me, though, so you must not be worth that much, huh! Have fun in your afterlife, Debbie, I’ll long outlive your legacy.”</option>
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| − | <option>♪ when I look you in the eyes I will start to realize - you're pathetic in the worst ways, you're spineless like on most days. when I look you in the eyes I will start to realize: you're not going anywhere, going anywhere ♪</option>
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| − | <option>“I swear if you make me buy one more plane ticket I’m dumping all of my equipment in the bay and someone else will have to figure it out.” </option>
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| − | <option>“What can I do to stay?”</option>
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| − | <option>“I’m not sure if it's appropriate to ask given your... history with them, but if you can hear us from up here can you make sure they all get home okay?"</option>
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| − | <option> “So the new team’s god is dead huh? Don’t know if you’re still out there, but if you are MAN are they going to need some help.” </option>
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| − | <option> “Hey, we were doing good work. I don’t get why you had to send aer away. Now I just have a big haunted house and it’s ''fine'' because I do my best work alone and I’m great at it but also if you could also knock it off that would be appreciated.” </option>
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| − | <option> “Hey what the hell. Why did you do this, what is it supposed to mean? Ken thinks it’s some kind of omen but I think you’re just scared and sad about Brock and taking it all out on us. Get over yourself.” </option>
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| − |
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| − | <option> “It's your fault bringing York back ended up like this right? It has to be.” </option>
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| − | <option> “I don’t know if you take requests, but please leave my arm clear if you’re going to be adding chitin, I want to build it up myself.” </option>
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| − | <option> “Hey can you do me a favour and make sure Jacoby ends up somewhere nice? I don’t want them to get too stuck in their head about this whole thing. They’re sometimes bad at remembering that people love them. </option>
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| − |
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| − | <option> “Thanks for the help with Fran - I think it was good for her. Sometimes you need to do it with your own hands to really get what your next step needs to be.” </option>
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| − | <option> “Pedro asked me to buy him some time so he can be there for Bertie… I know you don’t do like, ''blessings'' really, but I just need to make sure that I can hit runs so he doesn’t need to come play. His friend needs him, and this is all I can do to help. </option>
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| − | <option> “I’m not really sure what I should ask you honestly? I guess… I’d like to see it once, just to get an idea of it. What does it look like from where you are? How does it feel to be how you are? I want to know it and understand it, and I want to help other people get that perspective. You learned something important, and I want to help other people understand it. </option>
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| − | <option> “Hey I know Yurts made a pearl for you and I wanted to offer to make a case for it? I’ve done it for some of the others and I know it’s nice to have a resting place for it. Just let me know when you’re ready okay? I know losing someone close to you can be hard.” </option>
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| − | <option> “So it sounds like ▮▮▮ is worried about something. They keep talking about the exhibition game and the end of the era. I don’t know about all that, but I do think they feel like we’re running out of time. Is there any way you can help them play just once before then? I got out of the shadows, and I know that’s not quite the same, but like is that something you can help with?” </option>
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| − |
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| − | <option> “I don’t pray to you, or any other dead god. But if you’re listening, I’ll take all the help I can get in keeping my aim steady.” </option>
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| − |
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| − | <option> “I’m not sure this is the price I wanted to pay for not flinching anymore.” </option>
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| − | <option> “Please look after her. I know she’s going through a hard time right now, and she might hurt some people she doesn’t mean to. Or some people she wants to hurt. But she’ll regret it later. Just - keep the odds on her side all right?” </option>
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| − | <option> “Don’t know what's gonna happen next but I’ve read the books and I’ve seen your signs. I swear to myself this is the only time I’ll ask you for anything but please, just give me a good clean hit on him.” </option>
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| − |
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| − | <option> “I don’t know how this works, do I just - say things? Uh, I’m sorry I let Ken and Enid get swept away, and then Zeu and Conner. I’m sorry I froze when I should’ve gone after them. I don’t want to freeze like that again. I - won’t freeze like that again. So. Just so you know, I guess. I think that’s it.” </option>
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| − |
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| − | <option> “Can you make them bring my sister back? Please. I don’t know who else to ask.” </option>
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| − |
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| − | <option> “I don’t really get why people do this, or if I’m supposed to, or if - it feels kind of like talking to a gravestone? I guess I get that. And it’s not like you’ll tell anyone the stuff I say, right? So I can say I miss being in the shadows. And you won’t tell anyone? Right?” </option>
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| − |
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| − | <option> “Why did you bring me here? I liked it where I was. I want things to go back to normal, but no one will shut up about the alternates, and how you did this. Why couldn’t you have carcinized the Lorcan who was here, like you did to everyone else? I want to go home.” </option>
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| − |
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| − | <option> “Just wondering if you can help with the building permits for the helicopter pad I ordered for the Crabitat? The city council said this was my best bet at getting them expedited and while I think they were being facetious I am willing to give this a shot.” </option>
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| − |
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| − | <option> “You’re a lot different than the dead god on my first team. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing. Maybe it’s not a good thing actually.” </option>
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| − |
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| − | <option> “If you’ve got a minute I’ve got a couple questions for you actually - how much do you know about what goes on here? I’ve been talking to some of the team and it seems like you think you should have all the answers. </br> </br>
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| − |
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| − | No? Well that’s too bad I guess. It’s fine, I prefer figuring it out for myself anyway” </option>
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| − |
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| − | <option> “Just know you’ll never tie me down, that’s not how I roll. No one can tell me where to go.” </option>
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| − |
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| − | <option> “I don’t know if this is your thing but like, if you can do anything about all these consumers that would be great thanks” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option> “Okay those cannons were a ''great'' idea. Was that you? Someone said that you’re also the stadium? Baltimore is weird, but it’s a lot of fun!” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option> “They told me that I don’t have to talk to you if I don’t want to, and hell I’m assuming I’m just talking to thin air right now, but…. It’s nice sometimes.” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option> “...I just miss them so much. And it was my fault that they died and I didn’t stop it. I know people say that it’s impossible to really stop but we have fire-eaters now and all that junk. You think if I could be just a little bit faster there would have been something I could do.” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option> “I found that thing. I assume you know what I’m talking about and what I did with it. It’s symbolic I guess. I don’t think I’m just ''over'' it now but I suppose this is the first step. So… thanks for listening I guess.” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option> “It’s funny, I think, because I never talked to them while they were on your team—our team? Doesn’t matter. But somehow I know exactly what they’d think of you anyway. Did you feel it when they got incinerated? Did you care? ... I’ve never been one for prayer. Don’t expect much. It’s nice to know someone might be listening, anyway.” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option> “Hey, can you tell Bevan to stop freezing like a deer in- well. A deer in headlights, whenever somebody passes by. I'm trying to make a friend here.” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option> “They’re so wrapped up in you, in your corpse, in your memory, literally wrapping their own bodies in your shells. They can’t see past their own meaty little pincers. They’re so petrified with fear that they cocoon themselves with the thing they’re most afraid of and choose never to come out, never to even look over the walls. A whole city of stone, reliving her traumas. And now they sit on top of it all and refuse to budge, for fear of their supplanters.</br></br>Are the ones who never saw the danger so doomed to repeat our past mistakes? It was never the right question, when those who were there misstep and misstep and misstep everywhere they put their foot down. The throne is not given to the fearful and the stupid, it belongs to the ones with vision. Did you have vision? I was there too, you know. They don’t even know I grew up here when they talk about me like an outsider, but I remember you. But I don’t remember your vision.</br></br>You took, and you hoarded, you froze, yourself and others. And then you were killed. Your progeny follow in your footsteps. And the reins will again be passed on, bloody hand into bloody hand. My hand.</br></br>Do you want to see what this place can really become?” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option>”Are you real? Can anyone prove you exist beyond the dead shell in the Bay? What ''happened'' to you? Where can I find out more?” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option>”I tried asking the team about you and they all got real quiet. What did they do to you? What did you do to ''them''?” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option>”Oh I see how it is. I’m getting too close to it so now the perfect opportunity arises for me on the other side of the country. I’m going, but you know that it’s only a matter of time before I get even better at this and then it’s over for you.” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option>”Hey Lorc’s been elsewhere for a while. I know we’re not like, tight or anything, but can you send him back? Please?” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option>”So, like, is this whole thing just 'cause you hate me? 'Cause like, I get it if you hate me! I can deal with it! I can just steer clear over in Mexico and mind my business, y'know? Doesn't have to be a whole thing. Don't gotta… pull this bullcrud. Are you jealous of me, or something? If you want my attention, you can just ask, you know. You can, like, send me a crab valentine in the… crab mail. Not… not this, though. Please. Not this.” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option>"Hey come check on your guys, they're not doing so hot and I'm here to play blaseball not be their emotional support captain." </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option>"I… didn't think I'd count honestly. I didn't really want to get all attached and sappy but… thanks. This does mean a lot I think. I guess they're as much my team as the Lovers were. I think I'm starting to get what Knight is up to." </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option>"Try it. I'll show you what happened to the last god that got cute with me." </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option>"You know I feel like we've got a lot in common. Just a bunch of washed up old legends that people fell in love with the ''idea'' of. Hope it works out better for me at least." </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option>"I'm off again. It was interesting at least. The crabs are never quite what people expect they will be huh." </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option>"Hmmm…. Let me know if you can give me a hand with all these new suns floating around. I think they may start to become a problem. <br/><br/>Signed, Tot Fox." </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option> “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen her, but look after Silvaire for me please. Sun killers need to stick together, and she’s going through some things right now. See if you can show her some nice birds. <br/><br/>Signed, Tot Fox.” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option> “Look at you, dead thing. All the majesty and abuse, for nothing at all. If you were hungrier, you’d still be here. Pitiful. You should be the one praying to me.” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option> “Don’t touch my son.” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option> “I didn’t need your help getting back down here, and I don’t need your help getting Valentine back. But I ''will'' get her back. Just so you know.” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option>.-- .... . .-. . / .- -- / .. ..--.. / .... . .-.. .-.. --- ..--.. / .... . .-.. .-.. --- ..--.. </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option>- . .-.. .-.. / - .... . -- / .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.-- / .. / -.-. .- -. .----. - / -... . / - .... . .-. . </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option>- . .-.. .-.. / - .... . -- / - --- / ... - . .- .-.. / - .... .. .-. -..</option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option> “The ghosts are new. I’m not sure how I feel about them. It’s just so much harder to focus on anything now…”</option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option> “Combs came by the other day, it was good to see her. I think she’s upset with me but that’s understandable. She says it has nothing to do with the team but I’m not sure.” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option> “Nora’s doing well. I don’t know how well you knew her, but it’s good to at least know that she managed to stay upbeat in all of that. It really feels like ''life'' was the thing holding her back.” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option> “Luis… I’ll miss them. I’m glad they could come by though. Death doesn’t seem to have gotten them down at all.” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option> “Brock is- I don’t know if anyone has told you. I don’t know if you already know. But he’s passed. I’m sorry. I know you and him were close once. I’m sorry.” </option>
| |
| − | <option> “There are new ghosts. I don’t know who they are. Did you ever know them? Atma? Will? Were they yours?” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option> “What does this mean? I know it has to be a sign but the cards are being vague. I don’t trust them right now. What are you trying to tell me? What’s about to happen?” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option> “...Goodbye. Tell Bertie I love him. Tell Jacoby to work on something other than their fastball. And that I’m proud of him. Tell everyone that I’ll see them on the other side.” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option> “The Garden. Much younger, much brighter. I can only hope its fate will be better than yours or mine.” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option> “Think we’re both getting too old for this.” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option> “I spent years waiting on the other shoe to drop. Like, this wasn’t the kinda story that gets an epilogue. But all this time and all the stories after, a change of scenery, maybe the tension’s loosened up. I picked up the trowel and took a big, bone popping stretch, and put the coffee on. I’m so calm, ma. The monsters are all asleep, the game is the same, Bertie’s en route. The story continues. Haha.</br></br>Ma, it ain’t Baltimore, but the black hole is out tonight, so...I don’t even know if you can hear this. I’d call it nostalgic to have a nice conversation again, but things weren’t really nice before, were they? Take care.” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option> “THANK YOU FOR THE NEW TEETH!!!!!” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option> “I don't care about phylogenetics or taxonomy or any of that [explicative removed]. I’m more of a true crab than you could ever be” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option> “Part of him still missed you. Right up until he died. I don’t think he could ever regret it but I know he thought about it a lot. Did you know it was coming? Is that how I ended up here? </br></br>
| |
| − | I’m not going to thank you for it.” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option> “How could you. You don’t get to mourn him. Get the hell out.” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option> “I’ve realized something. My heart was never with you. Or the city, for that matter. It was with him.” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option> “It should’ve been me. It should’ve been me.” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option> “They still believe in you, you know. The very least you could do is try to protect them. But you've never really been able to do that, have you?” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option> “I'm still not sorry we killed you, but it might be easier if you were still around, and I could blame you for everything that's going wrong. Who's fault is it, if it's not yours?” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option> “Can you — if you have any power at all, if you ever cared about any of us, if there’s anything left of you we didn’t manage to kill. Can you bring Luis back? It’s the only favor I’ll ever ask for. Please. I’d forgive you for killing me if you brought them back. I know you won’t, or can’t, but. Please?” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option> “Useless old crab.” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option> “I miss Luis. And Combs. And Forrest, and Tot, and Nagomi, and Val, and Dreamy, and Brock, and Bertie, and everyone else we’ve lost. I don’t miss you, though. I think you should stay dead.” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option> “ I think after everything you know that I hate you, and all gods. But please, keep them safe. Don’t let anything like That happen to them” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option> “Haunted Kennedy. To say. Get bent.” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option> “Back in Baltimore. It’s been a while.” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option> “I feel different than I used to. It’s been a long time. I’ve been here a long time.” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option> “I never appreciated the water before. Not on my own. I think some other people liked it. And now I like it. I think that means something.” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option> “Getting a lot of new faces down here lately. Can you at least ''try'' to help them stay out of trouble?” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option> “Are you comfortable, wherever you are? We’ll send you some company real soon.” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option>"hi apparently you're dead or something but the other me used to play for your guys and I'm running out of options so can you please help me find my car keys I'm running really late and—holy @#$% how the hell did that actually work? Uh thanks." </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option> “If you can hear me - tell him I love him, and that it’s not his fault.” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option> “Remember when we’d read to one another? You made a poet of me, then left me at a loss for words. I carry that cruelty with me wherever I go.” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option> “I’m going to die tomorrow. I was—I was supposed to be immortal, y’know? Haha, well, I guess you do know, don’t you. And yet here we are. Do you think I’ll live on like you have? Do you think people’ll care enough to do that for me? Hey, well, only one way to find out. I’ll see you around, Deb!” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option> “They keep rooting for me to go back to the shadows. Can you do me a solid and make sure I don’t? At least for a while. I still want to play.” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option> “The best thing you can- do, for me? Is stay away. Far away. I don't- want this, and I don't want to talk to you. This is- our Crabitat, our tunnels, not- yours. Not anymore.” </option>
| |
| − |
| |
| − | <option> “Brock had always—he’d been connected to you, right? I don’t want you near me, but can you tell me if he’s okay, in the Trench? Please. We need to know. We miss him. I miss him.” </option>
| |
| − | </choose>
| |
| − | </i>
| |
| | {{IRM|Subject=Olde One|title=Conflicting Histories|intro=If you ask 10 people who she was you will get 11 answers back. Rather than try and determine the truth of the matter we are simply choosing to record each one in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill as we come across it.|format=vignette}} | | {{IRM|Subject=Olde One|title=Conflicting Histories|intro=If you ask 10 people who she was you will get 11 answers back. Rather than try and determine the truth of the matter we are simply choosing to record each one in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill as we come across it.|format=vignette}} |
| | ---- | | ---- |
COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
The Olde One (also known as The Mother Crab, Mr. Trash Wheel, The Deep One, They Who Lay In Slumber Under The Oldest Bay, Mom, The Indomitable Snip, She of the Eternal Shuffle, He of the Omniscent Ommatophores, “That There Big Crab”, Our Lady of the Impenecrable Shell, Ny'el'g'shuth Sh'ai'c'll'll'claroth, and Big Debrah) is the corpse-god of Chesapeake Bay, and matron diety to the Baltimore Crabs.
Prayers for Deborah
The following words have been offered by the
Baltimore Crabs. You can view more by refreshing the page, or by listening in
here.
“If you can hear this, please - I just need this one letter to go through. You can let us rot here for all I care, I just need them to know”
"I… didn't think I'd count honestly. I didn't really want to get all attached and sappy but… thanks. This does mean a lot I think. I guess they're as much my team as the Lovers were. I think I'm starting to get what Knight is up to."
“Remember when we’d read to one another? You made a poet of me, then left me at a loss for words. I carry that cruelty with me wherever I go.”
Conflicting Histories
- If you ask 10 people who she was you will get 11 answers back. Rather than try and determine the truth of the matter we are simply choosing to record each one in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill as we come across it. This time, the Interdimensional Rumor Mill reveals a Rumor from IF-54.896 out of its Rumor Registry...
Appearance
The Mother Crab has manifested in many ways throughout her life and after her death, and description of her is hard to place. The following is an account of an experience with her, whether it were a vision in a dream, a scene walking or sailing by her body, something glimpsed beneath the murky shallows of the Oldest Bay, or something else entirely.
Relationship to Baltimore
The Big Crab's origins are hazy in the silty tides of memory. It is unknown if it was always in the Oldest Bay, or if it was beyond space, tethered only by the physical avatar who resided there. However, he has certainly been a part of Baltimore's history since the beginning. Older residents of the city are far more willing to open up about their experiences living under the Big Crab’s influence, saying it brought the tide and came with the tide, and it watched over the city as a protector and justiciar. She taught the city many things, and was happy to speak with the many who sought her for aid or advice. He taught how to bake souffles, how to dreamsee, how to taste the coming weather, how to keep a hard shell for the harder times in life, how to budget, and, most importantly, how to make violence upon God. She was very insistent on arming and armoring the city, and spoke of cryptic things to come in a way that was really annoying and made you wonder if they actually knew if anything was coming at all because of how vague they were being. Few young proselytes sought to be closer to her by walking into the bay and never stopping. It is rumored that her last protege was a young Brock Forbes.
Murder
Not much is recorded about the killing of the Olde One. It is considered extremely impolite to bring up around anyone who was involved, and even between one witness to another it is only referred to with a soured expression or a trailed off sentence. Insinuations that it may have been at the Olde One’s behest that the first god the city kill be their own has been met with troubled reactions such as "no, it wasn't like that..." while suggestions that it was a good thing to kill a god has seen Baltimoreans say "yes, but...it's hard to explain..." Emotions on record range from celebratory to grieving to indignant to harrowed to at peace to furious to revulsed, all from the same person in quick succession - the only Baltimorean to ever go on record about it. The only things that can be said in confidence about the event are:
- The entire city participated in the act
- The Baltimore Crabs were essential in the striking of the killing blow
- It had to be done.
When the Olde One died, her carapace painted the horizon, the weight of her bent the city from outside of space, and chum flowed from her grievous wounds and sweetened the brackish waters. The scent of celery and paprika filled the air, and crustaceans saturated the land and the sea. The carcinization process came uncapped, a new strength granted to the residents of Baltimore. The city entered a period of grieving, where many would walk the emptied carapace of the MotherCrab’s fractal body or row barnacled gondolas through fields of still-twitching legs rising from the murk, and ask her for guidance, or for a helping claw in their carcinization. She still taught them things, still answered when called, but they no longer baked souffles together.
Relationship to the Crabs
For a full description of the Olde One's relationship to the Crabs into the Internet League, see Crabitat
The Big Crab is said to have the capacity to bless the players of the Baltimore Crabs, and is rumored to be the one responsible for PolkaDot Patterson's unusual 87 fingers. Members of the Baltimore Crabs are known to worship The Mother Crab as opposed to the gods of Blaseball. This unusual conviction was ratified by The Commissioner after the happenings of the Blaseball-Glolf Clonflict, as recompense for their aid as well as their silence.
Controversies
Some sources claim that PolkaDot Patterson is, rather than a blaseball player blessed by The Big Crab, a reincarnation of Mr. Trash Wheel itself. Official experts on Carcinianity dispute this claim, citing various religious texts. One of the most commonly cited texts states:
They Who Lay In Slumber Under The Oldest Bay shan't be killed, as such would mean they have lived." -Crabitalism, Georg 3: 11-17, Horx Myxln.
This doctrine has lost even more support due to Patterson's defection to the Canada Moist Talkers at the beginning of Season β3. However, stout believers maintain that Patterson is still an incarnation of Big Debrah, and that this is the beginning of the grand carcinization.
While it is commonly accepted that Ny'el'g'shuth Sh'ai'c'll'll'claroth lays dormant in Baltimore harbor, other interpretations of sacred texts might suggest Lake Ontario, Niagara Falls, the Hang Son Doon cave system, or even Marineland Location 237-1 found in London England to be their resting site.
Due to many striking similarities, it is commonly thought that Debra Barlone from the hit series Everyone Loves Raylmond is directly inspired by Big Debrah. This, however, has been staunchly denied by Phlilip Rosenthlal, citing in an interview that he "simply loves [...] my wife [...] and didn't mean any connection that there may be".
