Olde One/Rumor Registry
< Olde One
Rumors
Olde One has 4 Rumors written about so far.
Olde One/IF-54.896
Appearance
The Mother Crab has manifested in many ways throughout her life and after her death, and description of her is hard to place. The following is an account of an experience with her, whether it were a vision in a dream, a scene walking or sailing by her body, something glimpsed beneath the murky shallows of the Oldest Bay, or something else entirely.
Relationship to Baltimore
The Big Crab's origins are hazy in the silty tides of memory. It is unknown if it was always in the Oldest Bay, or if it was beyond space, tethered only by the physical avatar who resided there. However, he has certainly been a part of Baltimore's history since the beginning. Older residents of the city are far more willing to open up about their experiences living under the Big Crab’s influence, saying it brought the tide and came with the tide, and it watched over the city as a protector and justiciar. She taught the city many things, and was happy to speak with the many who sought her for aid or advice. He taught how to bake souffles, how to dreamsee, how to taste the coming weather, how to keep a hard shell for the harder times in life, how to budget, and, most importantly, how to make violence upon God. She was very insistent on arming and armoring the city, and spoke of cryptic things to come in a way that was really annoying and made you wonder if they actually knew if anything was coming at all because of how vague they were being. Few young proselytes sought to be closer to her by walking into the bay and never stopping. It is rumored that her last protege was a young Brock Forbes.
Murder
Not much is recorded about the killing of the Olde One. It is considered extremely impolite to bring up around anyone who was involved, and even between one witness to another it is only referred to with a soured expression or a trailed off sentence. Insinuations that it may have been at the Olde One’s behest that the first god the city kill be their own has been met with troubled reactions such as "no, it wasn't like that..." while suggestions that it was a good thing to kill a god has seen Baltimoreans say "yes, but...it's hard to explain..." Emotions on record range from celebratory to grieving to indignant to harrowed to at peace to furious to revulsed, all from the same person in quick succession - the only Baltimorean to ever go on record about it. The only things that can be said in confidence about the event are:
- The entire city participated in the act
- The Baltimore Crabs were essential in the striking of the killing blow
- It had to be done.
When the Olde One died, her carapace painted the horizon, the weight of her bent the city from outside of space, and chum flowed from her grievous wounds and sweetened the brackish waters. The scent of celery and paprika filled the air, and crustaceans saturated the land and the sea. The carcinization process came uncapped, a new strength granted to the residents of Baltimore. The city entered a period of grieving, where many would walk the emptied carapace of the MotherCrab’s fractal body or row barnacled gondolas through fields of still-twitching legs rising from the murk, and ask her for guidance, or for a helping claw in their carcinization. She still taught them things, still answered when called, but they no longer baked souffles together.
Relationship to the Crabs
For a full description of the Olde One's relationship to the Crabs into the Internet League, see Crabitat
The Big Crab is said to have the capacity to bless the players of the Baltimore Crabs, and is rumored to be the one responsible for PolkaDot Patterson's unusual 87 fingers. Members of the Baltimore Crabs are known to worship The Mother Crab as opposed to the gods of Blaseball. This unusual conviction was ratified by The Commissioner after the happenings of the Blaseball-Glolf Clonflict, as recompense for their aid as well as their silence.
Controversies
Some sources claim that PolkaDot Patterson is, rather than a blaseball player blessed by The Big Crab, a reincarnation of Mr. Trash Wheel itself. Official experts on Carcinianity dispute this claim, citing various religious texts. One of the most commonly cited texts states:This doctrine has lost even more support due to Patterson's defection to the Canada Moist Talkers at the beginning of Season β3. However, stout believers maintain that Patterson is still an incarnation of Big Debrah, and that this is the beginning of the grand carcinization.They Who Lay In Slumber Under The Oldest Bay shan't be killed, as such would mean they have lived." -Crabitalism, Georg 3: 11-17, Horx Myxln.
While it is commonly accepted that Ny'el'g'shuth Sh'ai'c'll'll'claroth lays dormant in Baltimore harbor, other interpretations of sacred texts might suggest Lake Ontario, Niagara Falls, the Hang Son Doon cave system, or even Marineland Location 237-1 found in London England to be their resting site.
Due to many striking similarities, it is commonly thought that Debra Barlone from the hit series Everyone Loves Raylmond is directly inspired by Big Debrah. This, however, has been staunchly denied by Phlilip Rosenthlal, citing in an interview that he "simply loves [...] my wife [...] and didn't mean any connection that there may be".Olde One/IF-59.869
Origins
The Mother Crab has been a part of Baltimore for longer than there has been a Baltimore. She has been built up as the city itself grew, and acted as a focal point for the immense power of the bay itself. She lived under the water of the bay and would occasionally communicate out with a massive tapping of her claws on the rocks beneath her. Her form would cause ripples in the water, but also the weather and storms in the area. It was paramount to keep an eye on her moods as it would affect everything in Baltimore if she was having a bad day.
Murder
Not much is recorded about the killing of the Olde One. It is considered extremely impolite to bring up around anyone who was involved, and even between one witness to another it is only referred to with a soured expression or a trailed off sentence. Insinuations that it may have been at the Olde One’s behest that the first god the city kill be their own has been met with troubled reactions such as "no, it wasn't like that..." while suggestions that it was a good thing to kill a god has seen Baltimoreans say "yes, but...it's hard to explain..." Emotions on record range from celebratory to grieving to indignant to harrowed to at peace to furious to revulsed, all from the same person in quick succession - the only Baltimorean to ever go on record about it. The only things that can be said in confidence about the event are:
- The entire city participated in the act
- The Baltimore Crabs were essential in the striking of the killing blow
- It had to be done.
The Death of Mother Crab
She is absolutely dead. That’s not a question. We all saw her die, felt it, heard it. We saw the blood in the water, the scream in the air. But then, why is she still in our dreams? Why are we still carcinizing, why can we still instinctually point our way home no matter where in the world we end up? Why does she still grant us blessings? Her corpse makes up the infrastructure of the Crabitat, and it is silent. It doesn’t matter what she did. You don’t need to know, all that needs to be said is that there was a line and that she crossed it.
What Happens Next?
When that much power dies it does not go quietly. Some say that you can still feel her spirit in the water and the city. They are wrong - the only thing left of her is her empty shell. That power though, has been taken up by new owners. The people of Baltimore carry it in their hearts, and if they attribute a particularly good string of luck, or the rewards of their own hard work to the Crab Mother’s ghost then that is simply the way it is. Most of them realize that it’s different now, but are happy to blame her for the misfortune of unwelcome visitors, or the destruction of unwanted investment properties. And if sometimes there’s someone there to give it a little push? Well that’s her business not ours.Olde One/IF-59.896
Origins
The Olde One was not always a part of Baltimore. The Olde One was inevitable. She was waiting below the surface for a time when she would be heard. When the city was built up around her she waited. When they prospered and fell, she waited, and when they asked for help she answered. When they asked for change she answered. When they asked for more she answered.
Murder
Not much is recorded about the killing of the Olde One. It is considered extremely impolite to bring up around anyone who was involved, and even between one witness to another it is only referred to with a soured expression or a trailed off sentence. Insinuations that it may have been at the Olde One’s behest that the first god the city kill be their own has been met with troubled reactions such as "no, it wasn't like that..." while suggestions that it was a good thing to kill a god has seen Baltimoreans say "yes, but...it's hard to explain..." Emotions on record range from celebratory to grieving to indignant to harrowed to at peace to furious to revulsed, all from the same person in quick succession - the only Baltimorean to ever go on record about it. The only things that can be said in confidence about the event are:
- The entire city participated in the act
- The Baltimore Crabs were essential in the striking of the killing blow
- It had to be done.
At her Best
The Olde One became a part of the city, and a part of everyday life. She led her people (and make no mistake, they were her people) through strife and struggle, and guided them when they were lost. She was a guiding light – a voice you could rely on, and a relationship you could hold dear. She brought herself to the level of mortals so she could be a part of their lives and in turn they let her into their hearts. At her best she was the heart of the city.
At her Worst
The Olde one became petty and unpredictable. A storm on a clear day, a mirror that showed no reflection. The worst traits of any petty tyrant. Disappearances in the night that no one could explain. Change was a part of life in Baltimore, but this was a matter of instability. On the days their struggles grew gruelling even her most loyal followers knew that this could not be sustained. They planned in secret for themselves. Asking for no help from her and standing on their own feet. They wondered if she would have been proud.
At her End
When Baltimore rose against her (and make no mistake, it was Baltimore that rose) they did so together. It was a choice made by her followers, her citizens, and her loved ones. It was the most difficult thing they had ever done. Her death was not swift. Her death was not noble. She bled into the bay she was born from and her blood and soul still haunt the streets. Her voice is still heard by some, and they offer a quiet prayer and hope it reaches the part of her that they want to remember. The Olde one was not always a part of Baltimore, but she always will be.Olde One/IF-70.896
Speculation on the Origins of the Olde One
It has been theorized that the crab living in Chesapeake Bay, Baltimore is actually only remarkable for the age and size of the creature herself. While many strange phenomena have been reported around her and Baltimore, we have no conclusive evidence that this kind of behavior isn’t naturally occurring. Other research into especially long lived sea life has been sparse at best, leaving us with very little to compare against. So while we are unable to draw any definitive conclusions, the following is a theory presented based on existing knowledge of other crustaceans, extrapolated on the long life cycle of the crab of Chesapeake Bay.
Murder
Not much is recorded about the killing of the Olde One. It is considered extremely impolite to bring up around anyone who was involved, and even between one witness to another it is only referred to with a soured expression or a trailed off sentence. Insinuations that it may have been at the Olde One’s behest that the first god the city kill be their own has been met with troubled reactions such as "no, it wasn't like that..." while suggestions that it was a good thing to kill a god has seen Baltimoreans say "yes, but...it's hard to explain..." Emotions on record range from celebratory to grieving to indignant to harrowed to at peace to furious to revulsed, all from the same person in quick succession - the only Baltimorean to ever go on record about it. The only things that can be said in confidence about the event are:
- The entire city participated in the act
- The Baltimore Crabs were essential in the striking of the killing blow
- It had to be done.
The Natural Life Cycle of a Very Old Crab
It is an observed phenomenon in some species of Lobsters and other crustaceans that they have a unique feature known as Biological Immortality. That is to say that they do not “slow down or weaken with age. In fact as they grow older, most of these creatures die not of any external factor, but rather of issues relating to molting. Molting takes a significant amount of energy, and the larger the creature, the more energy is taken up by this molt. The oldest of these biologically immortal creatures die of expending too much energy in their molt, or from refusing to molt and being trapped inside their shell.
One theory proposes that the key to overcoming this limitation is to source the energy required for molting externally rather than as an internal process. In the case of our very own Crab Mother, this would imply that in order for her to molt and grow further, she would need assistance removing her carapace, and slipping out from that shell to recover and grow a new one. If this is the case, then is it not possible that the reckoning was not an outlying event? Not an aberration on her long life, but rather the natural cycle of how a creature such as her must continue to grow
Possible Further Research Topics
Now supposing all of this is true, what does that mean? Well it doesn’t change much for everyday life in Baltimore. For the most part the stories of defeating a god are still accurate. Just as it is accurate to say a flood defeats a mountain, just because it is an inevitability does not make it any less impressive. What should be considered is where the remains of the Olde One have sunk to to recover and regrow her carapace, and what might be waiting for us on her return.
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