Nerd Pacheco
Nerd Pacheco is a lineup player[1] for the Hellmouth Sunbeams. Pacheco has been a member of the team since Season 1, where they began as a two star player.
Official League Records
Seasons 1-2
Nerd didn't do a whole lot but they held down third base nicely.
Season 3
During Season 3, on Day 47, Pacheco swallowed a stray peanut while batting, improving their rating to .
Seasons 4-7
Best as official records can tell, Pacheco just generally vibed this whole time.
Season 8
During Season 8, on Day 19, Pacheco siphoned some of San Francisco Lovers batter Kennedy Meh's batting ability in a game with Blooddrain weather, bringing it from ★★★½ to ★★★★.
Season 9
During the Season 9 Election the Hellmouth Sunbeams received the Mutually Arising blessing, which increased Pacheco's baserunning and defense by .
Season 10
During the Season 10 Election the Sunbeams received the Sharing Signs blessing, which increased Pacheco's batting to .
- This is a fork of the IRM, and chooses one story of many written by the Blaseball community when the page is loaded. Nerd Pacheco has been conferred a very large number of honorary degrees by academic institutions across the Immaterial Plane. If you would like to see a list of all honorary degrees conferred upon Nerd Pacheco, or add information about a degree Nerd has ben awarded; click Rumor Registry.If you would like to edit this entry, click Hon-D.Phil+Soc in Hellmouthian Sociology.
This system is based on the Interdimensional Rumor Mill, which can be read about at Interdimensional Rumor Mill.
- This is a fork of the IRM, and chooses one story of many written by the Blaseball community when the page is loaded. Nerd Pacheco has been conferred a very large number of honorary degrees by academic institutions across the Immaterial Plane. If you would like to see a list of all honorary degrees conferred upon Nerd Pacheco, or add information about a degree Nerd has ben awarded; click Rumor Registry.If you would like to edit this entry, click Hon-D.Phil+Soc in Hellmouthian Sociology.
Dual Doctorate in Hellmouthian Sociology and Philosophy
(NB: The following are selected works from Nerd Pacheco's dissertation. To date, this degree remains one of the few Pacheco has earned intentionally.)
[Entry: 1, date 02076]
Hello. My name is Nerd Pacheco. I am a professor at Hellmouth Community College, and a batter for the Hellmouth Sunbeams. Up to this point, I have written down all my findings on the phenomenon now known as “Adaptation,” but today I have decided to... record some thoughts verbally. For now, my only goal is to record my thoughts around the experience.
...
My first assessment: Adaptation is a physical change, done to us, by the Hellmouth. Not everybody adapts. I have. I am uncertain why.
[Entry: 6, date 03110]
Does Adaptation keep us safe? So far, the only people who I have seen - seen [static] did not experience an obvious Adaptation. Even if they were from the Hellmouth. So, why does the Hellmouth protect us? What is the purpose of my Adaptation in this?
[Entry: 24, date 04097]
At no point in this journal have I recorded my own Adaptation. I adapted cacti [static] full of water. Though it seems the community is already healing, there was a point where I was the only source of safe drinking water for some.
...Why me?
Is the Hellmouth punishing me, or does it think this is a gift? The role it wants me to play? Does it want me to give parts of myself for others? I think of [static]’s Adaptation. Or [static]. Do those changes help them fit into the community? Or do they help them in some other way? What is their role, in a community like the Hellmouth?
[Entry 37, date 06084]
Adaptation does not keep us safe.
Or, maybe it does, but the Hellmouth does not like when we [static]. I am starting to believe Adaptation is more than physical, it is psychosocial. Or- or, maybe, I am working backwards. Maybe we, as a community, have been united by this experience. Was that the goal? Is there a goal?
[Entry 59, date 0611X]
I think about those who seemingly have not Adapted, or claim to have not done so. This includes individuals such as [static] and [static]. What are their roles here? Are there forces more powerful than the Hellmouth? We now have the rule of Lis Dale Pendens. Is it even possible for a single individual to have that level of power? Or does it just target weaker individuals? Am I reading too much into it?
[Entry 168, date 1½XXX]
I am beginning to find these logs useless. More of a diary now, really, than academic record. Every time I work out something about Adaptation it proves me wrong. Maybe… Maybe I should be content, before the Hellmouth punishes me for investigating. Or... maybe, I’ve just hit a dead end, and it wants me to keep going. I don’t know.
[Entry 201, date 1211X]
Due to my [static] I have officially decided to abandon this log. After all this time to think and muse, I... I think this is for the best. I will continue to study the phenomenon, of course, but... this log is a mess. Still, I will argue there must be some value to be found in these notes of mine. Maybe when I work out what it is, I will return to it. For now, I shall find a new method of research.
Fan Art
by @Karagna
Nerd at Season 8 Hlomecoing, by @Karagna
Mini-Blaseballer by @HetreaSky
Players | Batters | |
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Pitchers | ||
Shadows |
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Buried | Boudicca Midcentury · Doc Anice | |
Former |
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Stats | Season | 1 |
Beta | β1 · β2 · β3 · β4 · β5 · β6 · β7 · β8 · β9 · β10 · β11 · β12 · β13 · β14 · β15 · β16 · β17 · β18 · β19 · β20 · β21 · β22 · β23 · β24 | |
Circuit | Gamma 2 · Gamma 3 · Gamma 4 | |
Ballpark | Lower Moab Scenic Overlook Field | |
Community Lore | ||
Staff | Sol · Monsieur Beam · JEFF! · Dead Tom · The Man Who Owns All the Teeth · Priya Fox · Determination Montgomery | |
Places | Hellmouth · Hellmouth Anti-Tourism Board · Shadow Moabbey · Randall Marijuana Memorial Cat Café · Arches National Plark | |
History | Moab Hellmouth Sunbeams' History · The Solympic Flame · Adaptation · HELIOLATRY · Cuisine of Hellmouth | |
Fan Culture 📣 · Fan Works 💌 · Tlopps Cards 🃏 | ||
Stare Into the Sun... |