Emmett Internet

Emmett Internet
Art by SonnenstrAAL (aalornothing#2957)
Basic Information
Team	Hellmouth Sunbeams
Status	Incinerated
Batting
Pitching
Defense
Running
Personal Information
Item	None
Armor	None
Evolution	Base
Pregame Ritual	Opening up the pit
Coffee Style	Heavy Foam
Blood Type	AAA
Fate	29
Soulscream	IHEOAIHEOAIAOAIAAOAIAAHOAUXHOAUXHIOAOIIOAOIIEAAHAEAAHAEEHIAHEHIAHEIOAAIIOAAIIIEAXHIEAXHIHAAHEHAAHEH
Biographical Details
Species	Friend

Emmett Internet was a lineup player for the Hellmouth Sunbeams. Internet had been a member of the team since Season 1. Their batting stance was unconventional, but they were known to be an incredibly patient hitter, sometimes waiting years for the right pitch.

Official League Records

Internet was incinerated on Day 91 of Season 5 during a game against the Hades Tigers. He was replaced by Sutton Bishop.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

History

Internet was seen going on a date with Hades Tigers batter Ren Morin during the season 3 post-season.

Some suggest that there existed a passionate rivalry between Internet and Tigers batter Jessica Telephone due to their inability to exist in the same place at the same time, though the exact nature of their relationship is unknown.

Internet reported being upgraded after Season 4. This upgrade resulted in a faster WiFi connection for the whole Hellmouth, increased storage capacity, and the ability to see pitches before they are thrown. Internet did the entirety of this report using the voice of popular vocaloid Hatsune Miku, whereas previously his voice was that of Microsoft Sam.

In spite of being incinerated by a rogue umpire, some sources claim that, as a creature of the wi-fi, Internet lives on digitally within this very webpage. Consider keeping him company for a few minutes.

Tragic Backstory

Growing up in the SFJPEJSCMXOIKO suburb of the Hellmouth, Emmett was a bright-eyed and cheerful child, honing their catching and digestive skills by playing games of the charming local pastime "Get Rocks Thrown At You", the influence of was seen in their tendency to eat the blaseball the one time every three years that the Sunbeam pitchers manage to successfully throw it their way.

Emmett achieved their shapeless, friendly form after accidentally inventing computers at the age of fifteen, and inadvertently entering a pact that exchanged their body for a "cloud" on which the new Internet would be born. In theory, the sheer amount of sensitive and personal data stored on their incorporeal databanks would grant them unmatched power, if only they could read.

Emmett Internet's talents were recognized at an early age, as rumors of a "prodigy Internet" spread quickly through Hellmouth. Internet was provided the mentoring they needed to be accepted into the prestegious Hellmouth Institute of Technolology (colloquially known as "the Tute"), where Internet became the youngest graduate in the history of the Tute.

Personality

Emmett was well known online as a notorious digital pirate. He used Limewire and always seeded torrents. Other players have asked him to burn illegal mixtape CDs for them, but he always ended up melting them due to "UNCLEAR INSTRUCTIONS". The Garages disliked him because he didn't pay for their music.

To this day he has also never paid for Photoshop.

Gallery

• 

  Emmett's Season 2 clard, by Discord user Ephesos

• Emmett's walkup music, by Discord user OmySpy

• 

  by SonnenstrAAL (aalornothing#2957)

• 

  by @VVVisection

• 

  by @churgalax

• 

  by @JustMako

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