Emmett Internet

Emmett Internet
Art by SonnenstrAAL (aalornothing#2957)
Basic Information
Team	Hellmouth Sunbeams
Status	Alive
Batting
Pitching
Defense
Running
Personal Information
Item	None
Armor	None
Evolution	Base
Pregame Ritual	Opening up the pit
Coffee Style	Heavy Foam
Blood Type	AAA
Fate	29
Soulscream	IHEOAIHEOAIAOAIAAOAIAAHOAUXHOAUXHIOAOIIOAOIIEAAHAEAAHAEEHIAHEHIAHEIOAAIIOAAIIIEAXHIEAXHIHAAHEHAAHEH
Biographical Details
Species	Friend

Emmett Internet was a lineup player for the Hellmouth Sunbeams. Internet had been a member of the team since Season 1. Their batting stance was unconventional, but they were known to be an incredibly patient hitter, sometimes waiting years for the right pitch.

Internet was incinerated on Day 90 of Season 5 during a game against the Hades Tigers. He was replaced by Sutton Bishop.

Official League Records

Internet currently has no notable events in the official recordbooks.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

History

Internet was seen going on a date with Hades Tigers batter Ren Morin during the season 3 post-season.

Some suggest that there exists a passionate rivalry between Internet and Tigers batter Jessica Telephone due to their inability to exist in the same place at the same time, though the exact nature of their relationship is unknown.

Internet reported being upgraded after Season 4. This upgrade resulted in a faster WiFi connection for the whole Hellmouth, increased storage capacity, and the ability to see pitches before they are thrown. Internet did the entirety of this report using the voice of popular vocaloid Hatsune Miku, whereas previously his voice was that of Microsoft Sam.

Tragic Backstory

Growing up in the SFJPEJSCMXOIKO suburb of the Hellmouth, Emmett was a bright-eyed and cheerful child, honing their catching and digestive skills by playing games of the charming local pastime "Get Rocks Thrown At You", the influence of which can still be seen in their tendency to eat the blaseball the one time every three years that the Sunbeam pitchers manage to successfully throw it their way.

Emmett achieved their current shapeless, friendly form after accidentally inventing computers at the age of fifteen, and inadvertently entering a pact that exchanged their body for a "cloud" on which the new Internet would be born. In theory, the sheer amount of sensitive and personal data stored on their incorporeal databanks would grant them unmatched power, if only they could read.

Personality

Emmett is well known online as a notorious digital pirate. He still uses Limewire and always seeds torrents. Other players have asked him to burn illegal mixtape CDs for them, but he always ends up melting them due to "UNCLEAR INSTRUCTIONS". The Garages dislike him because he doesn't pay for their music.

To this day he has also never paid for Photoshop.

Gallery

• 

  Emmett's Season 2 clard, by Discord user Ephesos

• Emmett's walkup music, by Discord user OmySpy

• 

  by SonnenstrAAL (aalornothing#2957)

• 

  by @VVVisection

• 

  by @churgalax

• 

  by @JustMako

---