Difference between revisions of "Emmett Internet"

Revision as of 15:55, 4 September 2020

Emmett Internet was a lineup player for the Hellmouth Sunbeams. Internet had been a member of the team since Season 1. Their batting stance was unconventional, but they were known to be an incredibly patient hitter, sometimes waiting years for the right pitch.

Official League Records

Internet was incinerated on Day 91 of Season 5 during a game against the Hades Tigers. He was replaced by Sutton Bishop.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

History

Internet was seen going on a date with Hades Tigers batter Ren Morin during the season 3 post-season.

Some suggest that there existed a passionate rivalry between Internet and Tigers batter Jessica Telephone due to their inability to exist in the same place at the same time, though the exact nature of their relationship is unknown.

Internet reported being upgraded after Season 4. This upgrade resulted in a faster WiFi connection for the whole Hellmouth, increased storage capacity, and the ability to see pitches before they are thrown. Internet did the entirety of this report using the voice of popular vocaloid Hatsune Miku, whereas previously his voice was that of Microsoft Sam.

Tragic Backstory

Growing up in the SFJPEJSCMXOIKO suburb of the Hellmouth, Emmett was a bright-eyed and cheerful child, honing their catching and digestive skills by playing games of the charming local pastime "Get Rocks Thrown At You", the influence of was seen in their tendency to eat the blaseball the one time every three years that the Sunbeam pitchers manage to successfully throw it their way.

Emmett achieved their shapeless, friendly form after accidentally inventing computers at the age of fifteen, and inadvertently entering a pact that exchanged their body for a "cloud" on which the new Internet would be born. In theory, the sheer amount of sensitive and personal data stored on their incorporeal databanks would grant them unmatched power, if only they could read.

Personality

Emmett was well known online as a notorious digital pirate. He used Limewire and always seeded torrents. Other players have asked him to burn illegal mixtape CDs for them, but he always ended up melting them due to "UNCLEAR INSTRUCTIONS". The Garages disliked him because he didn't pay for their music.

To this day he has also never paid for Photoshop.

Gallery

Emmett's Season 2 clard, by Discord user Ephesos
Emmett's walkup music, by Discord user OmySpy
by SonnenstrAAL (aalornothing#2957)
by @VVVisection
by @churgalax
by @JustMako

@@ Line 10: / Line 10: @@
 | team=Hellmouth Sunbeams
 | former=
-| status=Alive
+| status=Incinerated
 | dates=
 <!-- Hitting star rating for lineup players; pitching rating for pitchers -->
@@ Line 36: / Line 36: @@
 }}
 '''Emmett Internet''' was a lineup player for the [[Hellmouth Sunbeams]]. Internet had been a member of the team since [[Season 1]]. Their batting stance was unconventional, but they were known to be an incredibly patient hitter, sometimes waiting years for the right pitch.
-Internet was incinerated on Day 90 of [[Season 5]] during a game against the [[Hades Tigers]].  He was replaced by [[Sutton Bishop]].
 ==Official League Records ==
-Internet currently has no notable events in the official recordbooks.
+Internet was incinerated on Day 91 of [[Season 5]] during a game against the [[Hades Tigers]].  He was replaced by [[Sutton Bishop]].
 <br />
@@ Line 50: / Line 46: @@
 Internet was seen going on a date with [[Hades Tigers]] batter [[Ren Morin]] during the season 3 post-season.
-Some suggest that there exists a passionate rivalry between Internet and Tigers batter [[Jessica Telephone]] due to their inability to exist in the same place at the same time, though the exact nature of their relationship is unknown.
+Some suggest that there existed a passionate rivalry between Internet and Tigers batter [[Jessica Telephone]] due to their inability to exist in the same place at the same time, though the exact nature of their relationship is unknown.
 Internet reported being upgraded after [[Season 4#Blessings 2|Season 4]]. This upgrade resulted in a faster WiFi connection for the whole [[Hellmouth]], increased storage capacity, and the ability to see pitches before they are thrown. Internet did the entirety of this report using the voice of popular vocaloid [[Hatsune Miku]], whereas previously his voice was that of [[Microsoft Sam]].
 ===Tragic Backstory===
-Growing up in the SFJPEJSCMXOIKO suburb of the Hellmouth, Emmett was a bright-eyed and cheerful child, honing their catching and digestive skills by playing games of the charming local pastime "Get Rocks Thrown At You", the influence of which can still be seen in their tendency to eat the blaseball the one time every three years that the Sunbeam pitchers manage to successfully throw it their way.
+Growing up in the SFJPEJSCMXOIKO suburb of the Hellmouth, Emmett was a bright-eyed and cheerful child, honing their catching and digestive skills by playing games of the charming local pastime "Get Rocks Thrown At You", the influence of was seen in their tendency to eat the blaseball the one time every three years that the Sunbeam pitchers manage to successfully throw it their way.
-Emmett achieved their current shapeless, friendly form after accidentally inventing computers at the age of fifteen, and inadvertently entering a pact that exchanged their body for a "cloud" on which the new Internet would be born. In theory, the sheer amount of sensitive and personal data stored on their incorporeal databanks would grant them unmatched power, if only they could read.
+Emmett achieved their shapeless, friendly form after accidentally inventing computers at the age of fifteen, and inadvertently entering a pact that exchanged their body for a "cloud" on which the new Internet would be born. In theory, the sheer amount of sensitive and personal data stored on their incorporeal databanks would grant them unmatched power, if only they could read.
 == Personality ==
-Emmett is well known online as a notorious digital pirate. He still uses Limewire and ''always'' seeds torrents. Other players have asked him to burn illegal mixtape CDs for them, but he always ends up melting them due to "UNCLEAR INSTRUCTIONS". The [[Garages]] dislike him because he doesn't pay for their music.
+Emmett was well known online as a notorious digital pirate. He used Limewire and ''always'' seeded torrents. Other players have asked him to burn illegal mixtape CDs for them, but he always ended up melting them due to "UNCLEAR INSTRUCTIONS". The [[Garages]] disliked him because he didn't pay for their music.
 To this day he has also <u>never</u> paid for Photoshop.
@@ Line 76: / Line 72: @@
 <br />
-[[Category:Hellmouth Sunbeams]]
 [[Category:Players]]
 [[Category:Lineup Players]]

Moab Hellmouth Sunbeams 🌞
Players	Batters	Özlem Suttner Kajjala Aliyev Cory Ross Cravel Gesundheit Grizz El Sayed Willow Dice Eugenia Garbage Jorge Owens Pangolin Ruiz Guozhi Ong
	Pitchers	Mooney Doctor Grollis Zephyr Carter Grimsley London Simmons Dunn Keyes
	Shadows	None
	Buried	Boudicca Midcentury · Doc Anice
	Former	Newton Underbuck (🌠) Paula Reddick (🌠) Donia Bailey (🌠) Kaj Statter Jr. (🌠) Son Jensen (🌠) · Full List
Stats	Season	1
	Beta	β1 · β2 · β3 · β4 · β5 · β6 · β7 · β8 · β9 · β10 · β11 · β12 · β13 · β14 · β15 · β16 · β17 · β18 · β19 · β20 · β21 · β22 · β23 · β24
	Circuit	Gamma 2 · Gamma 3 · Gamma 4
Ballpark	Lower Moab Scenic Overlook Field
Community Lore
Staff	Sol · Monsieur Bean · JEFF! · Dead Tom · The Man Who Owns All the Teeth · Priya Fox · Determination Montgomery
Places	Hellmouth · Hellmouth Anti-Tourism Board · Shadow Moabbey · Randall Marijuana Memorial Cat Café · Arches National Plark
History	Moab Hellmouth Sunbeams' History · The Solympic Flame · Adaptation · HELIOLATRY · Cuisine of Hellmouth
Fan Culture 📣 · Fan Works 💌 · Tlopps Cards 🃏
Stare Into the Sun...