Melton Telephone

Melton Telephone
By @hatfights_art
Basic Information
Team	Yellowstone Magic
Status	Shadowed
Batting	(2.5)
Pitching	(1.2)
Defense	(3.6)
Running	(3.1)
Modifications	AlternateThis Player is an Alternate... Player is replaced with an alternate reality version, stats are randomized.  ScatteredThis Player returned from Elsewhere a bit Scattered.
Items	Trader Lucky Skate Sunglasses ●●●●
Dates Active	Jul 20, 2020–present
External Links	Blaseball-Reference Player Changes Player Page
Personal Information
Evolution	Base
Peanut Allergy	Allergic
Pregame Ritual	Wearing lucky socks
Coffee Style	Decaf
Blood Type	AAA
Fate	44

Melton Telephone is a player in the Shadows for the Yellowstone Magic, and has been with the team since Season 1.

Official League Records

Telephone joined the ILB as a player in the Shadows for the Yellowstone Magic with the Return of Blaseball.

During the Season 16 elections, Telephone joined the Magic's pitching rotation in exchange for Francisco Preston as a result of the Magic's Foreshadow will.

On Season 17, Day 104, Telephone was attacked by Consumers, reducing their star total from 10.3 → 6.2

During the Season 18 elections, Telephone retreated to the Magic's Shadows in exchange for Eizabeth Elliott as a result of the Magic's Foreshadow will, resulting in a combined 6.2 → 7.9 stat increase.

During the Season 21 elections, Telephone received Alternate and Negative modifications as a result of the Shadow Alternate Trust blessing, randomizing their stats.

During the Season 22 elections, Telephone lost the Negative modification as a result of the Roster Flip blessing.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Box of Melton Telephone Files

Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-62.498 and start reading...

Introduction

Melton Telephone is a tree-like payphone standing at roughly 3-7 feet tall (91-213 cm) depending on the season. Their body is mostly comprised of tree trunks and branches from various species (Douglas fir, white ash, giant sequoia, and several unknown species have been observed) while their head consists of telephone parts. Wires and cords bind these disparate elements together. Communicating with Telephone is done by picking up any phone and asking to speak to Melton Telephone. This was eventually pieced together when Telephone repeatedly mimed picking up a phone for three hours straight during a team meeting.

Telephone has previously described their home as an old phone booth with an American sycamore growing through it. Teammates, park rangers, and occasionally park visitors are often invited by Telephone to hang out there, but nobody has succeeded in locating it. When asked about this lack of directions, Telephone simply stated that everyone finds their way easily enough and the company is appreciated even if no one remembers it. The phone booth is supposedly somewhere in Yellowstone.

Career

Before joining the Magic, Telephone was an avid fan of Blaseball and regularly spectated games in Yellowstone. At one of these games, Telephone caught a home run ball. Worried they’d be thrown out for stealing, Telephone threw the ball back, throwing a perfect strike clocking in at 307 mph (494 kph). After the game, players from the Magic encouraged Telephone to try out for the team. In a few short weeks, Telephone was fully trained and ready to play.

Telephone got their chance to pitch when they were subbed in for Francisco Preston in Season β17. After helping the Magic reach the postseason, Telephone was attacked by Consumers in a game against the Hawai'i Fridays. Their performance dropped after this event and many noticed a significant decrease in the maximum height Telephone grew to. Over the course of Season β18, their bark grew soft and mossy and phone parts became noticeably rusty.

At the end of the season, Telephone requested some time off, which their teammates obviously supported. The deteriorating payphone stepped behind a nearby tree and disappeared entirely. The current whereabouts of Telephone are unknown, but Magic players are confident they will answer the call when the team needs them most.

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Fan Works

• 

  Melton and their tree. Art by Drew (BuoyBoy#3340)

• 

  Melton Telephone analyzes their options before throwing a pitch. Art by Scott Brazee

• 

  Season 17 card by ChewyPudding#7060

• 

  by hatfights_art

• 

  A design for Melton Telephone. Art by @_Xmascritter_

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